The other night my wife found my 12 yr old son masturbating, she was freaked out and shocked. I know that kids now a days grow up alot sooner then we did when we were kids. she know wants me to talk to him about this. I know this subject has been talked about on here before, but any advice would be great. She's having a hard time dealing with the fact that her little boy is growing up.
Just let your son know to do these things in private...and that it's totally normal. End of story with him. Tell your wife to start knocking loudly and waiting before entering the room. And I agree that you should have a talk with your wife. Unfortunately her "baby" is entering the world of raging hormones! Maybe she needs a lighthearted book on the subject from Santa.
I wouldn't even mention it to him, personally. At 12, he's going to be mortified if he thinks you know, and he definitely knows that it's something to be done in private. I remember starting that at a much younger age, and I'm a girl! 12 sound like the prime age to me.
I too would talk to your wife. I have a DS myself, and dread the day I catch him "growing up." Another thing, I would give him the birds and the bees talk if I hadn't already, but I don't think I'd let my wife do it. Parents of the opposite sex will completely embarrass a kid at that age. I think most kids like to think their opposite sex parents are ignorant to what they are doing. My DH and I have an arrangement where he will handle all the man stuff, and I'll handle all the woman stuff when that age comes. It only makes sense, IMO.
DS born 07/05/2003
DD born 3/24/2005
There is no age to start masturbating. They even start when they are babies. NOT the same way or to achieve orgasm, but they know it feels good when they touch their private parts. If you feel uncomfortable talking about sex or don't know how to start, buy a good book on sexuality it gives you something to work with. You can either read it with him or if that makes you feel uncomfortable he can read it my himself, at least he will get the right information.