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Old 12-14-2004, 03:59 AM   #1
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My Almost 15 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

Hi I really need some advice My daughter who will be 15 months old on the 27th of this month absolutely HATES going to bed. She will scream for anywhere up to 2-3 hours sometimes....I have tried pretty much EVERYTHING and am at my wits end.....She has had the same routine since I could get her in a routine.....She has her dinner, some play time, a bath, little more play time, then I put her to bed with her bottle.....I have been doing this with her now for at least 6 months and yet she still hates going to bed...I have tried the controlled crying. I let her cry for 5 or 10 minutes, go in pick her up, soothe her put her back to bed , then most times the screaming just starts up again This isnt happening every single night, but enough to be causing major upset in my house. It seems to be a pattern of 1 or 2 good nights, then one horror of a night....Once she is asleep she is great, pretty much sleeps through the whole night....Its just getting her to sleep. I also have a baby boy who is just turned 6 weeks old, and has decided that his awake time is when Haley is screaming and performing This isnt a jelousy thing with my daughter, its been going on for months before my son was even born, so I cant even blame it on that.....Its just causing soooooo much stress in the house and I desperately need advice on what I can do to get her to go to sleep at night peacefully....Its just so distressing for me, and made worse as I am not getting as much sleep as I would like and by the time she goes to sleep I am so exhausted and feel like my baby boy is suffering because I dont have the time that he needs I just feel like a terrible mummy all round right now Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.....
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DD HALEY BORN 27TH SEPT 2003
DS ADAM BORN 1ST NOV 2004

Last edited by haleysmum; 12-14-2004 at 04:06 AM.

 
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Old 12-14-2004, 04:38 AM   #2
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

Oh you poor sleepy mommy. I am dreading the "lack of sleep" that will be coming for me in a few months. My one suggestion is to NOT pick her up when you go in to comfort her. Try going in and rubbing her back/belly. That way (hopefully) she will learn that she is not going to be picked up. I would be upset too if my mommy kept coming in every 10 minutes, holding me and making me feel so good and then kept putting me back in bed away from her. Is she acting tired before you put her to bed? Maybe her sleep schedule is changing. DS was pulling the same thing a while back and he was moving his bedtime on us. We made it an hour later and it worked out well. Does she enjoy reading books? Maybe make that part of her routine. Is your husband home at night? Perhaps you and her can have some quiet alone time reading books and cuddling before bed. Let her pick the books out and she might feel more in control of the whole bedtime thing. And maybe get her some simple books about children her age going to bed.

As you can tell I don't have any definite answers...but being a mom you know its all about trying everything and anything until you find something that works! Good luck. I hope that you can get some more rest soon! I feel your pain!
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Old 12-14-2004, 05:17 AM   #3
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

how often does she nap durring the day? it could just be she needs an earlier or shorter nap. Also, like was said, don't cuddle her etc, she's old enough to know that bedtime is bedtime, give her a cuddle, kiss and hug etc before you put her down and if she wants another just say mommy already gave you your good night hugs and kisses. You can also try laying down her down in her crib (i am assuming she is still in one) to read her a story, a nice quiet one, even try playing some lullaby's quietly. After the story is done give her a hug and kiss and say goodnight. Also, watch out for things she may be scared of, the dark, the door being completly closed etc. After that try not to pick her up at all. If she starts crying and wanting to get up than tell her it's bedtime and she already had her hug and kiss (she may or may not understand all of this, but she will get it eventually). You can also try pushing her bedtime back an hour or so to see if that helps.

 
Old 12-14-2004, 06:24 AM   #4
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

HI...it's Goody It's been a while for me but if I could chime in here....you say that you have playtime, bath, then playtime again before putting her down. Perhaps if you changed her nighttime routine to less stimulating events such as reading a book even watching a quiet video while snuggling on the couch together....then placing her in bed and setting up a tape recorder with some soothing peaceful music setting the mood for quiet sleeping time. I tend to think that she may be a little scared...do you have a nightlite in her room???? Also settle her down with her favorite doll or stuffed animal and make a big deal about saying goodnite to it too letting her know that she is not alone. The soft music really helped me out...and be consistent....even if this change doesn't work the first time....stick with it and eventually it will kick in. Never act frazzled or rushed....she will pick up on that...make it sedate, loving, and in control. Hope this helps and congrats on the little one....perhaps his sleeping habits will synchronize and you can further say that it is his bedtime too. She may see that he is allowed to stay up and why can't she....but again you can explain that he is little and needs to eat just before going to bed and he is next. Good luck ....Goody

 
Old 12-14-2004, 07:49 AM   #5
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

Poor Lisa...this is such a hard thing to deal with. I think you've gotten some GREAT advice though. I agree with making your bedtime routine more relaxing...15 month olds tend to think of bath time as play time (at least Ian did!) so it might not calm her down. Maybe try giving her a shorter nap during the day, then at bedtime sit with her in her room in a comfy chair, dim the lights, and read a book quietly or just rock and cuddle. After that put her in the crib - the stuffed animal idea is a great one, I don't know if she has a "lovie" but all kids need one...Ian has his blankie and it's his nite-nite companion - and when she fusses, don't get her up! Like was said, just rub her back or belly, give her a hug and kiss but don't get her up. Tell her it's nite-nite time and we will get up in the morning. Talk quietly and soothingly, and don't turn on the lights or anything. Picking her up is showing her that if she screams you'll get her back up...after a couple of nights she will figure out that it doesn't work any more and will find ways to soothe herself. I hope you can find something that works for you - this has been a long-running problem for you and you need some relief!!!

 
Old 12-14-2004, 12:24 PM   #6
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

Hi guys and thanks for the replies I have actually tried a few of things you suggested....Pushing her bedtime back an hour etc.....I think what I really need to do is take note of if things are any different on the nights that she does actually go to sleep on her own peacefully...But its kind of hard when your mind is muddled from lack of sleep and looking after 2 babies LOL I do have a night light that plays music and glows images on the ceiling, but maybe thats over stimulating her ??????????? I have tried reading to her quite a few times, but she just doesnt seem interested She is too busy wriggling around on my lap and trying to just grab the book out of my hand...She is at an age where EVERYTHING is just so interesting to her....I can barely get her to eat her dinner because she is too busy wriggling around in her high chair and looking at everything....I think I may have to invest in a rocking chair for her bedroom and rock and read with her if I can get her to sit still for more than a minute LOL I think I may also try the music thing out too......Thanks again for the replies
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DD HALEY BORN 27TH SEPT 2003
DS ADAM BORN 1ST NOV 2004

 
Old 12-14-2004, 03:21 PM   #7
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

I've noticed that if I don't get DS (18 months old) ready for bed around 8-8:30, if we're at the inlaws or out and about -- he gets goofier and goofier until he "turns on us" This past week we were really busy and let him get by with stay up just a little later than usual. And while we were ready for bed, he kept giggling and squirming. I put him in his crib and he'd cry owie, mommy, daddy, puppy. Felt so bad, but we were exhausted.

I usually let him play in the tub. Put on pjs. Let him play and then around 8 I sit and rock with him, read him a book. Then we just sit quietly and he's usually out by 8:30 but... If I take him downstairs to the rec room where he's got more toys and try to sit quietly with him on the sofa -- he won't settle down. Gets real squirmy and goofy.

Another thing is that at "school" I don't think he sleeps longer than 2 hours -- more like 1 1/2 hours. And on the weekend we let him sleep closer to 2 1/2 and it throws everything off kilter.

 
Old 12-14-2004, 06:56 PM   #8
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

I couldn't get my daughter to sleep at night unti she was 15 months old. And still everynight at bedtime she does cry. But she will go. She wasn't interested in the story for the first couple of weeks. But then she started to relax and be quiet when I read her a story. If she is really good I will read her 2. She still crys after I leave her sometimes but if she does it is only for a couple of minutes and goes to sleep.

 
Old 12-14-2004, 10:23 PM   #9
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Re: My Almost 14 Month Old Hates Going To Bed Please Help Me !

We tried the controlled crying with my son, but going in there would just get him more worked up. I felt so guilty about letting him CIO all alone, but I finally realized that he was just the type of baby who had to do it that way. Whenever we would go back in to comfort him, he'd just get more enraged when we put him back in the crib. Then if we went back in and didn't pick him up, he'd start screaming like he was possesed when we didn't get him out of his crib. So one night I just decided to not go back in there and see what he would do. He cried 45 minutes and passed out. Every night the period got a little shorter until after about a week he'd barely whimper. I realized at that time that not everything works with all babies, and I was just prolonging the agony for both of us by going to him. He sleeps 12 hours through the night.

He still hates going to bed. And he cries, or even screams a bit many nights. But he knows resistance is futile, and settles down.

Also, what Ratatosk said I've noticed too. If we "miss the window" of sleepy opportunity, Cal gets his second wind and is terrible when we put him down. Especially at nap time! Plus, I too would recommend not letting her play again before bed and get all wound up. With Cal we noticed he needed something relaxing. We bathe, rock and he drinks a cup of milk while I read or sing to him and then he goes straight to bed. He is 17 months.

Good luck.
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