It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-23-2004, 09:10 PM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
miamore HB User
Question 10 month old and need advice

this is my q and please let me know if anyone else has ever experinced this
i am a first time mom i have a 10 month old son he seems to have alot of frutration and anger sometimes. he grabs his little fist together and grunts like his really mad at me cuz he is not gettting his way .....
what am i to do is frustrates me to ............... and it scares me that he is going to have anger problems.......
2. i dont have a very close nit family or very helpful and my mother is to far from me to help
i suffer from lupus which makes me tired all the time since my son has been 4 months old i alllow for him to go away on the weekend with a very close mom like person to be she really loves my kid and she also has kids herself but they do take him on like little vac every weekend cuz one of her son plays hockey...some people im my family make me feel bad like im a bad mother for doing that i hear phrases like well we never did that when we had kids, or u bettter not trust that women u cant trust anyone nowadays with ur kids, am i a BAD MOM FOR DOING THIS I TRY MY HARDIEST BUT THE FATHER LEFT AT 3 MO AND HE DOESNT NEVER GET HIS SON. I STAY AT HOME WITH HIM ALL THE TIME
3. ALONG WITH THE 2ND Q I FEEL LIKE MY KID DONT LOVE ME EVERYTIME HE SEE HER HE JST SMILES AND HE ACTUALLY GAVE HIS FIRST KISS TO HER.............. IM CONFUSED TO KIDS AT THERE AGE KNOW WHO THERE MOTHERS AND IS THAT A SIGN THAT HE LOVE HER MORE THAN ME
PLEASE HELP ME I REALLY NEED ADVICE MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 12-23-2004, 09:54 PM   #2
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Coweta, Oklahoma
Posts: 439
crisma HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

What your son is doing is perfectly normal. I have 2 boys 11 and 5 and they both did the same thing at about that age. A lot of it boils down to them not having very good communication skills. They can't figure out how to tell you what they want or need. It can be a very frustrating time. My youngest used to butt his head on everything. I thought there was something wrong with him, until I talked to his doctor, and she assured me that it was normal.As for your friend taking him for the weekend, with your illness, how would deal with him if you did not get some time to yourself? I see nothing wrong with it. If his dad saw him he would probably have him on the weekends, so what is the difference? Also, he doesn't love her more than you, that is just how they react to other people sometimes. Mine did that too! It sure can cause hurt feelings though. Don't worry, it sounds like you are being a very good mom!!! Good luck to you.

 
Old 12-24-2004, 09:26 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 574
worried_mommy HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

My 11 month old daughter gets like that also. I have shown her that when she is angry to bang her spoon on some canisters we let her use as drums. That way she gets the agression out but not hurt herself/others/or things. It seems to be working well so far. Just an idea. HTH

 
Old 12-24-2004, 10:16 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,006
Ratatosk HB UserRatatosk HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

DS is 18 months old and he's been doing similar things since he was about that age -- head butts, pulls hair, tries to hit and sometimes does the dreaded nipple twist. Just gets so frustrated sometimes and I suppose it's the only way he can express himself. I say no hit or we don't hit mommy. If I get extremely frustrated I put him in his crib or set him in the middle of the floor.

 
Old 12-24-2004, 08:03 PM   #5
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
miamore HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

thanks everyone for the replies back it really help for me to know im not the only one. i felt as if something was wrong with my child as if i did in same way make him feel that cuz i was extremlly angry and stress out thru my preg.

and also i talk to my doc the other day and he did tell me that it was perf. normal for kids to go thru that they have no other way of expressing themselves and at his age his frustrated cuz he want to talk walk and express the way he feels. he told the best thing to do is when he throwing a tantrum to go take him in his room set him on the floor and walk out. well of course the baby is going to come after still crying he said pick him up and tell him baby its ok mommy understands are u going to quit crying now. he says if he gets work keep doing it and will train him in head no to do that know more and help in the long run to he is a really good doc hes been a ped for 22years.

maybe that canhelp someone to , moms lets keep chatting anyone out there have a 10 month or sim that would just like to exchange some hard days some times hollar at me i have them all the time and i love chatting

 
Old 12-24-2004, 08:18 PM   #6
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Coweta, Oklahoma
Posts: 439
crisma HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

Hi Miamore, glad to see you are feeling better!! Kids have a way of making us parents feel like such crap sometims lol! This is probably the reason they say being a parent is the hardest job, huh? But they are sooo worth it. My 2 boys are my life. My kids are alot older than 10 months but it would be great to talk to ya. Keep up the good work!!!

 
Old 12-24-2004, 09:28 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 1,207
BioAdoptMom3 HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

Yes, it does indeed help to talk to other moms sometimes. We just don't realize, especially the first time around, that often things that babies, toddlers and children do are very normal. I have to say, it will likely get worse before it gets better and the poster who mentioned communication skills is exactly right. Whenever your baby gets angry, even though he doesn't understand it all yet, say things like, "you are mad because mommy won't let you touch that" or "you are mad because you have to stop playing and get your diaper changed", etc. That way he will eventually get the language to express himself (by the time he is 2 1/2 to 3) and when he can verbally express himself the tantrums will decrease a lot. That is also a skill you want him to have when he is older and in school. Its much better to be able to say to another child, "I feel angry when you take my blocks away" than it is to just feel as though you have to hit the child or push him down and grab your blocks back.

You might also want to consider something like a Mother's Morning or Day out once or twice a week. Many churches have them. They will care for your child, sometimes for free or for a very small donation and you can have a few hours to yourself every week. We all need that time!

Nancy

 
Old 12-24-2004, 09:45 PM   #8
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
miamore HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

thanks crisma i appreciate everyones response but of all ur the one that hit the trigger right on the spot, thanks for telling me that i am doing the best i can , and it sound like i am being a good mom. thats what was really bothering me the most. and the one that posted the one below ur right mommies share something in common kids, and unless u have one its not the same its like mommies club. nobody know what it is like to take care, give uncondiotional love to someone that u have created thru alot of god help even when it seems hard, it like what i told my mom its the weirdiest thing i love him so much but he is the one that pisses me off sometimes the most lol. and u can not only teach ur baby and mold him to be a better person they teach u things. my son has taught me commit commit commit, cant run away instead of ranning away from a bad situation and giving up i have to hang in there cuz im his mom he is depending on me, and i make it better.

today was actually a good day for me but the present thing with my family wasnt, i have a cousin that has a kid 3 weeks older than me and got more than mine did it made me feel angry and upset and frustrated and confused let me know mommies have u experinced that this holiday

 
Old 12-25-2004, 02:18 PM   #9
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Coweta, Oklahoma
Posts: 439
crisma HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

Merry Christmas!!! I was thinking about our post's last night and it made me think that raising kids is one giant roller coster for the rest of our lives. There are so many ups and downs. Not just the kids, but they seem to change life in general. You talk about the present thing. That so happens all the time in my family. My kids have several grandparents and there are a few other grandkids, and some of them seem to do so much for some of the kids and hardly anything for the others. I wonder if they realize not just how it makes our kids feel, but us parent's too. I have tried to find a solution for that, but haven't figured it out yet. My kids are old enough to understand that now and it really ticks me off when they get upset over it. That is one of the reasons why we decided to stay home this year. We usually are on the go the whole time, but this year I cooked Christmas dinner and we just stayed home. It was so much less stressful. My kids actually got to play with their toys instead of having to wait till days after Christmas.I think that will be our tradition from now on. We really enjoyed it. I hope everyone had a safe and happy Christmas!!!

 
Old 12-26-2004, 12:49 AM   #10
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
miamore HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

chrisma and others i dont know about u guys, i used to get on the computer chat rooms and that used to be my main focus beside checking my mail, but i love this place this is the first place i come and it helps me to relax to know that i am not alone in the world i dont socialize that much anymore since i had my son and i seemed to get real depressed sometimes, but i love everyone replying back to one another, i am so glad that christmas is over with .........

 
Old 12-26-2004, 11:15 PM   #11
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
miamore HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

so how was all the mommies/ fathers christmas with there kid....... mine was good and ok, im just glad its over with...... u know

 
Old 12-27-2004, 08:52 AM   #12
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Coweta, Oklahoma
Posts: 439
crisma HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

Our Christmas was sooo much less stressful this year. Just staying home really made a difference. We will be doing that again next year. Miamore I totally agree with you about this place. I love it too! I found it by accident back in April when I started having some medical problems and it has been a real life saver for me. Everyone here is so nice and so helpful.

 
Old 12-28-2004, 07:35 AM   #13
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
miamore HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

well u guys ive noticed something that thru me for a trip, the women that babysit my kid acts like she is a mom figure to me. well we went over to her house lat christmas night cuz she wanted my baby to home up the present that she got. well she took a pic of her 3 kids with mine in it and dint even ask mr. it thru me for a loop and really made me look at reality. im cutting back the visit now. it really worried me so i talked to my grandmother about and she yep it dont suprise me none, cuz she acts like its her child. boy did i do something, does anyone know how is the best way to approach or resolve this problem???? so i gradually start doing it or what??? or do u think that i should talk to her about it ???
i suffer from lupus and i am real tired all the time so therefor his father doesnt ever have him and i need the help , but because of what has happened im considering in looking for a day care durning the week to where i can spend my time resting while he is playing and socializing, and at night have him all to myself and on the weekend ??? how do u mommies think about daycare???do u think that he is 10 mo now do u think that from stripping her from him now that it will have any effect on emotionally he really attached to her which sometimes hurts me more /??/

please give advice need help badly

 
Old 12-28-2004, 08:03 AM   #14
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,006
Ratatosk HB UserRatatosk HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

After having time off for the holidays and spending it with my 18 month old, I was relieved to send him back to day care this morning. I love my child, but he's very very busy and wears me out. He goes to a center and they have planned activities, teach him things, other kids his age to play with. Of course where he goes there are several different caregivers, including college students, so he doesn't just have one primary person he sees day in day out.
A former coworker asked me the other day if I wished I'd stayed at home with him and I said no. DS needs to interact with other kids. A lot of times I'll prop him up in front of the tv to watch the purple dinosaur, just to get a little break and then I feel guilty -- at day care they only allow the little kids to watch about 10 minutes of tv/video a day. If I had a more sedate, mellow child, maybe I'd view things differently but DS is a human tornado..

 
Old 12-28-2004, 06:03 PM   #15
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 574
worried_mommy HB User
Re: 10 month old and need advice

I think daycare is a great idea for your baby, miamore, if you don't feel comftorble with that other woman taking care of him. (And I don't think I would be either). You need the time to take care of yourself in order to take care of him. The best thing you can do for your lil man is to take care of yourself and be a good mama.

Now I need to vent lol. Yesterday DD was being such a brat alllll day. I tried everything, but she just kept throwing temper tantrum after temper tantrum, pulling my hair and throwing things at our cats. Finally I had had enough and got a glass of water for myself and put her in her playpen. I sat on the floor next to the playpen and ignored her jumping up and down and screaming at me while I took the tags off of her new Xmas clothes to be washed. Then she started crying and grabbing at her mouth, I had thought she hit her mouth while she was jumping so I picked her up to comfort her. Sure enough she had just cut her first tooth....boy did that make me feel horrible. All day she was in pain that's why she was so cranky, but she wasn't showing any signs of pain, just being cranky. I think I walked around holding her for about an hour after giving her some tempra, I felt so bad.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
CONFUSED with THYROID readings?? I need help? meds do nto seem to be working? bluetou Thyroid Disorders 17 05-12-2011 07:18 PM
how to get my 9 month old to sleep in his own bed shawnstout89 Parenting Issues 6 04-19-2010 06:43 PM
I need my 7-month old to sleep in his crib!! jackstersmom Infant Care (up to 18 months old) 5 02-14-2009 05:15 AM
3 1/2 month old only takes very short naps? NEED SOME GOOD ADVICE ! halfpint51 Infant Care (up to 18 months old) 7 01-26-2008 02:28 PM
spotting for period second month in a row? planned pnt wont see me! neg blood test, macawgirl Women's Health 0 05-18-2007 10:21 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (8), writeleft (6), rudiraven (4), marisuela (4), Curious One (3), noevr (3), katlin09 (3), jilas0127 (3), Foxxii (3), Beth Ann (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (899), Titchou (835), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:58 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!