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Old 01-11-2005, 07:32 PM   #1
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Ksavage HB User
Wink Experience Needed!

OK....we (hubby & I) just had a talk about when we should stop letting our 2 year old see us naked. I think he is more concearned about himself more than her seeing me.

There are 3 of us that live in our house and we are almost allways dressed. But when he gets out of the shower he will shave and brush his teeth before he gets into bed. She likes to play peek- a -boo with both of us when we are in the shower and she also likes to sit on the counter in the bathroom and brush her teeth with her Daddy before bed.

We are just wondering when we should put a stop to this. She has never acted klike she realizes that we (him & I ) are different, but I am pretty sure she is not far from that point.

I have mixed feelings about the subject. On 1 hand I feel that there is nothing wrong with our bodies and therefore there is nothing to be ashamed of. Not that I think we should flaunt it around or anything. But I do not want sex to be a dirty word in our house like it was when I was a kid. I want her to be able to feel comfortable in talking with both of us about anything. Not that seeing her Dad naked is going to help with that. But I just do not feel like it is such a big deal. He on the other hand is a little less accepting of the idea of her asking him questions about his body. Which is understandable. Maybe if we had a son I would feel a bit different.

I would love to hear how the rest of you have handled this situation, or plan on handleing it in the future with your little ones.

To each his own.......but a few different points of veiw and some pros and cons could never hurt!

Have a good day!

Kim

.........EEEEEEWWWW! I just had an vision of my Dad naked.....maybe this is a bigger issue than I thought!
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Last edited by Ksavage; 01-11-2005 at 07:34 PM.

 
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Old 01-11-2005, 09:07 PM   #2
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Re: Experience Needed!

I have read around the age of three children can become very curious and unconciously aroused when they see parents of the opposite sex naked. Not sure if this is true, but the "experts" seem to think that it can cause shameful feelings in little ones. They can also develop envy of the same sex parents (you have breast, she doesn't) which seems more common in boys. For some reason penis envy starts at a very young age. I have friends who have 3 and 4 year old sons who have been very concerned about the fact that theirs is so much smaller than daddy's. An easy explanation for this is "You're still growing. Your arms and feet are smaller too, but will be as big as mine when you grow up."

I have an 18 month old son, and I will run out topless to the dryer or something occasionally. He has been interested in my nipples just because they are there and different since he was a year old, staring, tugging, just curiosity type stuff. (I weaned him from BFing at 6 months.) I think probably in the next few months I will start covering up just cause I'd feel better. I really don't care much about DH being naked until our little girl on the way gets older.

My family was very modest, DH's was very open, and neither of us seem permanently scarred from either approach. I think it's mostly what you feel comfortable with.
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Last edited by siren1024; 01-11-2005 at 09:09 PM.

 
Old 01-11-2005, 09:25 PM   #3
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Re: Experience Needed!

My children are 4,3,3 and I am not uncomfortable with my girls....I don't mind them seeing my breasts but I try and cover up the bottom part even if they walk in while I am using the restroom. My son walks in on me and he is four so it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable I guess because I want him to respect a womans privacy, I don't scream at him but I do tell him politly that when a girl is in the restroom or getting dressed he needs to wait outside the door.
My girls have asked questions about my breasts and I tell them that they will have them too when they are older, I do not allow them to touch or stare. I go about my business of getting dressed and it's no big deal to them.
I have never allowed my husband to be naked in front of the kids. When my son was little my husband allowed my son to see him pee and thats how we trained my son to go potty but that was the only time. I just don't think boys need to see grown woman or men and I don't think girls need to see grown men either. Breasts are not so bad but genitilia are a bit more intimate and something I am not ready to explain. That time will come soon enough.
I remember seeing my dad naked when I was about four or five and I remember it freaking me out to see his private parts..
He was coming out of the shower and I happend to walk in and it was a bit disturbing....hahaha
I agree with you that it is time to cover up daddy and parts of you. It can't hurt and they will be just fine with sex as long as you hug and kiss daddy and are affectionate, they will pick up on that and "sex" will take its course as a part of learning love and affection and being shared through feelings. I hope you followed this blabbering. hahaha Its just my opinion.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 08:33 AM   #4
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chelle4 HB User
Re: Experience Needed!

my dd is 3 and i think the last time she saw her daddy in the nude would have been around 15-18 mon. it's not that were ashamed of the human body she see's her 2 yr old bro. all the time. but dad and i are both uncomfortable with here seeing a male figure she loves and has persoanl relationship in the nude. many will think i'm prudeish, but i believe that's something for her to discover with her dh.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 09:11 AM   #5
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Mica09 HB User
Re: Experience Needed!

Well, I'm a mother of three boys that are now in their teens. Here is my opinion.
I think that if you feel uncomfortable being naked in front of your kids, they will feel it and you will make them feel uncomfortable. If kids see you naked everyday since birth they won't even think about your nakedeness. It will be a very natural thing for them. Yes, they will ask questions about the differences but it's very natural and a very good time to explain why our bodies are like they are,(start of sexual education - when my sons saw me "bleeding" (menses - I explained to them that I wasn't sick, that it was a natural process for women to go through, that it permitted her to have children). I don't believe that kids get sexually aroused when seeing there parents walking around naked. (I would have never been sexually aroused seeing my parents walking around naked !!!!)

When did I start hiding myself from them? It was a very gradual thing. I guess when they started hiding themselves from me. For my oldest, it was closer to his teens, and for my other two sons, it was earlier.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 10:00 AM   #6
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Ksavage HB User
Re: Experience Needed!

You guys are really giving me some things to think about!

The last thing I want to do is to make anyone uncomfortable. So I think I will talk to my DH and leave it up to him on setting boundaries between him and Riley. As far as her seeing me naked.....happens all the time. Half the time she ends up in the tub with me anyway. She has noticed my boobs and then there are times that I may be in the restroom and she thinks she should try to wipe me. Just like I do for her. It makes me giggle, because she is just so cute. I am waiting for the tme that she walks in on her Daddy and she makes an attempt at wipeing him!

I do tend to agree that if this is something they are used to and it has been a natural occurance their entire life, that it would be no bid deal. I had a friend in highschool that saw her dad and older brothers naked all the time. They had pool and a cabanna type room and they would allways get dressed out there together. I thought is was gross, but to her it was no big deal. She actually thought it was weird that "it" was such a big deal out my house. & to this very day......EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW......the thought of my dad naked.

This is interesting to see what everyone's thinking is on this subject. It is really not a big deal for me since I have a daughter, if I had a son, I would probably feel different as far as him seeing me naked.

Thakns foe all your input! Keep'em coming!

Kim
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Old 01-12-2005, 11:03 AM   #7
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siren1024 HB User
Re: Experience Needed!

K- my mom just told me this story. My mom and dad would take me in the shower with them until I was about 2 or 3. The reason for this is that we had a tiny house with no tub and I was afraid to shower on my own. Well, around that age, I was asking my Dad about the differences, and apparently went to my mom very upset that I didn't have a penis. LOL. After that I never saw my dad naked again.

My DH and his brother saw his mom naked all the time. She didn't care, and I guess they didn't either. They got to the age where they would leave the room or avert their eyes or say "mom, get out!" cause she'd just walk in on them when they were naked teens and put their clothes away or something. LOL. I don't want to go to that extreme, but DH isn't scarred sexually or psycologically at all from that.
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Old 01-12-2005, 01:40 PM   #8
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Ksavage HB User
Re: Experience Needed!

You make me laugh Kellie!

Could you imagine....penis envy in a 2 year old FEMALE! You poor little thing!

I have also been talking to some friends about this as well and it seems that everyone has their own ideas. One of my friends said that she breast fed her daughter, but could not manage to breast feed her son! I told her she was flat out NUTZ! She said just the thought of her son sucking on her made her feel creapy. I told her she had some serious issues! We are pretty good friends so it is OK that I tease her like that. Her kids are older and I did ot know her until a few years ago, I never knew that about her.

Then another friend of mine said that her whole family are pretty much nudeists. She said that it is no bid deal at all for her Grandma to take her shirt off in the kitchen when she is cooking. She does not to get food on her clothes! She said she allways wears a bra though! How hillarious is that. She said she would never take friends to her Grandmas house because of that.

Well, I guess that is what makes the world go 'round HUH!
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Old 01-12-2005, 02:22 PM   #9
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Re: Experience Needed!

Hi I honestly never thought of this question until I read this post, now I wonder should I start thinking about I certainly dont think its an issue for my daughter to see me naked ( she is going on 16 months ) we have baths together all the time, so it cant be avoided. But now I wonder about her seeing her dad naked She very occasionally has baths with her dad ( with me supervising ) but most of the time that is out of convenience ie saving time. She has tried to grab his you know what a couple of times, which I just ignore, he says NO and covers it up. I tell him she doesnt even know what it is right now, but you guys are right, she will be coming to an age when she will want to know what it is. I think the time has come to stop her having baths with him, not that its very often. I think she has only had a bath with him like 4 times. He also walks around naked when he has got out of the shower etc. It may be time to put a stop to that too. We also have a 10 week old baby boy, I wont have a prob with him seeing his dad naked either nor me to a certain age. With my other son, ( now almost 19 ) he too use to have baths with me up until he was about 2 yrs old. After that I use to be discreet when getting dressed etc. Of course there were times throughout his life when he accidently saw me naked, but I didnt just walk around naked in front of him. When I was growing up my mother never hid herself. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor while she was in the bath having talks with her. But I do remember starting to feel uncomfortable when I became a teenager. My mother still doesnt have a prob with undressing in front of me, but I feel uncomfortable and leave the room LOL
I think of a lot of the issue is more with the opposite sex ie I think its ok for daughters to see their mothers naked and sons to see their dads naked to a certain age.
Anyway hope I didnt ramble on too much LOL
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Old 01-20-2005, 05:51 AM   #10
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Re: Experience Needed!

I have to agree with Mica09 on this one. If you feel uncomfortable naked around you children, they will pick that up and feel uncomfortable as well. Kids are like sponges, they pick up on their parents feeling QUICK. My daughter is 2, almost 3 and she has seen both my hubby and I naked from day one. She will come in with me and we will change clothes to get ready to go somewhere, she watches me use the restroom, she takes baths and showers with me. She has pointed out that she notices that I have "boobies", she claims she has them too! I try to explain things to her to make her comfortable with herself. I am not going to get into a big disscussion with her since she will not understand..I do not hide myself from her.

As for hubby, she has seen him naked from day one as well. They will also change clothes in the same room to get ready to go somewhere. She has seen him use the restroom...she HAS noticed that boys and girls are different. We just sat down and told her that boys are girls are different. Mommies have "muffies" and Daddies have "wiggle worms" That was that. No penis envy, just a little girl that was curious. She has taken baths with my hubby, and still takes a shower with him here and there...we find it is not a big deal. Both hubby and I do not feel uncomfortable. Our daughter does not feel uncomfortable. Once everyone shows the slightest sign of being uncomfortable, then we will have the talk about privacy. Everyone has their own way of looking at things, and this is how we deal with it at our house. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

 
Old 01-20-2005, 06:12 AM   #11
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Re: Experience Needed!

Wanted to add something. In my psychology class I learned that when a little girl notices that she doesn't have a "penis", you tell her, you don't have a penis because you are not a boy, but you have a "vulva" (external parts of female genital anatomy- labia, clitoris, vagina). This way they won't feel like they are missing something.

We should use the appropriate words when talking about body parts.

Last edited by Mica09; 01-20-2005 at 06:16 AM.

 
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