I live in the UK with my wife and fifteen year old daughter. She has been driving us nuts with her complete laziness, particularly with regard to her homework. (our daughter, not my wife) . The last straw was her sneaking out to go to the cinema with her boyfriend when she was supposed to be studying the night before a test. She failed it and then gave my wife a load of backchat. So she's grounded next weekend.
My wife has grounded her a couple of times before but with only limited effect. Anyway my wife discussed it with our daughter's godmother, a retired secondary school teacher. She listened and suggested that to make the grounding more effective she would set our daughter an essay to make sure she has a hard weekend.
She came round last night and my wife called our daughter down from her room. Our daughter's face went through the floor as her godmother told her the length of the essay and other criteria. Her godmother will give her the topic next Friday evening and will mark it next Sunday night to ensure its done properly.
My wife calmly explained that if the essay wasn't completed she'd be staying in the following weekend ans well. Exit red faced daughter stomping off to her room clutching an A4 pad of paper.
My wifes threatened the essay treatment before but this is the first time shes gone through with it. My guess is our dd wont want a second dose of it after next weekend.
What do people think? Most of my wifes friends think its a great idea and one of them, a teacher, uses it to discipline her daughter already. I'm much softer than my wife and my daughter is really leaning on me to get the essay cancelled or at least reduced in length.
I think it's a great idea.. one of the things about grounding is that when a teen is grounded YOU are also grounded.. so its good that rather than being in your face all weekend pouting ..she will need to be completing her essay. It may or may not work but its worth a shot. Sometimes the difficult thing about grounding too is that kids get grounded to their rooms... some kids rooms have tv's, video games, computers etc.. not much of a grounding.. at least this way she will be doing something productive and may learn a thing or two.. Good luck.. I hope it works for you and keep us updated!
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Shannon
Married DH - February 10, 2004 DD Avery Born - November 23, 2004
Glad you like my wife's essay idea. Its true lots of grounded teens either sulk round the house or stay in their room texting etc. My wife and our daughter's godmother, a retired teacher, are assigning dd 2,000 words on 'the importance of homework'. Her godmother will grade it to ensure its well written and she doesn't stray off topic. My wife works in a school so is familiar with sentences and punishment essays.
My daughter is really playing on me to get my wife to cancel the essay. Tonight I had, 'you're the best dad', and '2,000 words is soooo long'.
Thw women I work with say they'll never speak to me if they let dd wriggle out of the essay. Theyve met her once and both thought she was 15 going on 18 and a bit sassy. They haven't stopped chuckling since they heard about the essay and the 2,000 words.
You're so cruel. The poor girl. I think shes hoping to get it cancelled altogether. My wifes a bit mean too - she threatened to give our daughter sentences if she didn't shut up!
You just have to be strong and follow through with the consequence that you and your wife have decided to use. Discipline is no good unless there is follow through from the parents.. Teens are great manipulators ... so anything they can say or do to get out of a grounding they will do.. dont you remember being a teen?? As parents you have to show her that homework is important and that it is expected that she complete it.. if she doesnt there are consequences..simple as that.... im interested to hear how this one plays out.. let me know!
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Shannon
Married DH - February 10, 2004 DD Avery Born - November 23, 2004
Will keep you up to date! Certainly most of my wifes friends think its a good punishment and are interested to see the results. My wife thinks its going to be a short sharp shock for our daughter. My sister in law hasn't stopped laughing and is on about placing bets on how many hours it takes our daughter to get the essay done. lol
Hi,
I think it is a wonderful idea. When your daughter tries to get you to reduce the amount of words or let her off completely you could try telling her that she is treating you and her mother with a lack of respect and that for every time she tries it you will increase the word count by 25. She should back off then.
I hope it works. I might try that on my son.
Married DH - February 10, 2004
DD Avery Born - November 23, 2004
