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Old 01-27-2005, 03:56 AM   #1
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16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

Hi Im not sure if any of you will remember but I posted months ago about my daughter being an absolute HORROR to get to sleep at night. Well I have tried EVERYTHING now and she still will not go to sleep peacefully at night.The last 3 nights have been absolutely HORRIFIC ! 3 nights ago I put her to bed at 7.45, she finally went to sleep about 10 pm after crying , roaring, yelling, playing and throwing up. Last night I put her to bed about 8.05 pm, she finally went to sleep at 10.20 pm Tonight I had a bit more of a reprieve, I put her down at 7.30 pm because I had basically had enough of listening to her cry and roar since 7.00 am this morning and she finally went to sleep at 9.10 pm . I am just about at my wits end with her I just dont know what else to try with her and dont know where to turn to...Its getting to the stage where I am absolutely dreading putting her to bed at night because I know I am in for hell !!!! She has had the same routine all her life, so its not like I am chopping and changing her routine around Ive tried giving her her afternoon nap earlier in the afternoon thinking well she just must not be tired, NOPE didnt work! I have tried feeding her her dinner earlier thinking maybe she is feeling full and thats why she wont settle NOPE didnt work either ! I bought her an ocean wonders aquarium to hook on her crib thinking it would soothe her to sleep watching the bubbles etc, it had the TOTAL opposite affect, if anything it just stimulated her more and she stayed awake even longer ! Tonigth I removed everything from her crib, her pull down toy and she also had one of those Tomy night light show thingys,but all she was doing between crying , roaring and screaming was playing with them, so in the end I took them out of her cot. I dont want to take her things away from her, because they are her security and the things she is used to having around her, but I just got so sick of hearing that music between her screaming and roaring I really am a nervous wreck right now. She is driving me to distraction and its doubly hard because I also have a 12 week old baby boy who NEEDS me TOO ! I know I have asked you guys for advice before and I got some great advice which believe me I have tried, but please if anyone can think of anything else PLEASE tell me, Also can anyone possibly tell me what is causing her to be this way Look forward to hearing from you.
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Old 01-27-2005, 03:57 AM   #2
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

When I said same routine, what I meant was her bedtime routine, ie dinner, playtime, bath and then bed....
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Old 01-27-2005, 04:39 AM   #3
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

My sister went through the exactly same thing. Her boys are 15months apart and when no. 2 came along her 1st was a nightmare when it came to bedtime! I think it had something to do with the baby being allowed to stay up when he had to go to bed. He could also get himself out of his crib, he would litteraly fling himself over the rails, and night after night my sister went through hell at bed time. It was taking hours for her to get him to sleep too. After telling you all this I can't remember how she dealt with the situation sorry!! But I will ask her and let you know

 
Old 01-28-2005, 10:03 AM   #4
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

Hey, So I asked my sister about this. Unfortunatly she reckons there was no "miracle cure" lol, she says they made sure that Ben(no. 1) always had a bedtime snack also he still had a bottle (does Haley?) and he got to take a bottle to bed with him, also her and her husband took turns in having either Ben or Jake (no.2) , and when push came to shove they had to let him cry it out
But she said her No. 1 piece of advise would be that to this day (Ben is 10 now) she feels guilty because she expected Ben to be too grown up when he was still a baby himself, she wishes she had given him more "baby time" and cuddles. I was shocked to hear her say this after 10 years!
Sorry I couldn't be more help, but at least ya know it's pretty normal under the circumstances

Last edited by ~PJ~; 01-28-2005 at 10:30 AM.

 
Old 01-28-2005, 11:26 AM   #5
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

My daughter went through a similar stage as well, so after trying a bunch of things and not getting any results we thought we'd try eliminating her nap...I hummed and hawed over it alot first but then just decided to try it and see what happened. Sure enough she started going to bed without a problem and sleeping better through the night as well. Mind you she had always been a good night sleeper before this stage and even still she is now 2 1/2 and still gets an average of 13 hours a sleep a night...so I guess she just didn't need the nap as well. I guess it depends on how much sleep she is getting. I have friends who's kids don't sleep near as long as my daughter so they still need their naps. There are some great books out there though for helping with this issue, check your library. Goodluck

 
Old 01-28-2005, 03:27 PM   #6
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

My daughter did not go to sleep for the longest time she was I think 16 months before she finally went to sleep for the night. I know it sounds awful but you just got to let her cry. Make sure she is okay and leave her. I use to check on my daugter every 5 minutes or so, so she would keep on crying because she knew I would be in her room in a couple of minutes. Just shut the door and ignore it. My daughter will be 2 in a couple of weeks and mind you she will still cry for 2-3 minutes after I put her down but it is only a couple of minutes. Have you tried reading her a story after you put her to bed? THe first couple of times I treid the story it didn't work but then she would stop crying because she just wanted to hear me talk, that also helped me. Good luck I went through the same thing with my daughter and now she goes to bed so good. SL

 
Old 01-29-2005, 08:22 PM   #7
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

Okay, I'm sure I'm going to get stern frowns on this, but I ended up with a tv in my 8 month old's room. I had it for myself when I nursed for the first months-watch a dvd, a nice dim light...

Harder to put him down later and found he loved Baby Mozart movie-a gift from a friend. I put him to bed, TV and mozart on-he watches a few min and falls asleep. May cry, so I set a timer for 5-8 min and have my husbaand keep an ear out for major cries that could be serious and then I can't hear a thing for those minutes! (that's a lot of min to hear cries!)

Maybe not perfect, but tv dvd player broke-no tv, but the cd seems just fine for him!

 
Old 01-30-2005, 02:16 PM   #8
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

MIpigpen, I wouldnt frown on your suggestion, it actually sounds like a great idea I may actually try it out. I will have to go out and buy a small television I think. Its not like Haley is glued to the tv 20 hours a day, she actually barely watches any. I put it on in the morning for her, but she is too busy running around the house trashing everything to be bothered with tv LOL, so I dont think it would hurt AT ALL for her to have a tv in her room to send her off to sleep at night Thanks a lot for the suggestion
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Old 02-16-2005, 06:33 AM   #9
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

Hi there - sounds like you are having a hard time. First off I would not elimate the nap. A child needs a nap until they are 4 years old or they will not function during the day. This may make them crash at night but it is not good for them and it probabally will not work when they get older. That being said I am going to give you great advice without letting baby cry it out. I do not belive in that.

To start you should pick a bed time for your baby. Stick to that no matter what. Give or take 15 minutes or so. Do your bedtime ritual evertime the exact same way everynight. Then lay baby in the crib and stay there. You can either sit on the floor and look the other way using encouraging words. Or you could pat babys back and say shhhh. If baby keeps standing up; matter of factly lay them back down. Just do the same thing each time. Now your baby will cry. Having your baby cry when you are there being supportive is not letting them cry it out. Helping baby sleep will cause a baby to cry. You have two options. 1) Be there, offer support 2) say it is to hard, and make baby deal with it on their own. I have suggested that moms use this to get their babies to sleep and some say that "it is to hard and cannot sit there and see my baby cry like that". So they decide that the baby should do this on thier own and they leave the room and take a shower so they can't hear baby. Great parents. Parenting is hard, deal with it. (Anyway sorry about the tanget. ) Now this will take a long time - possibly 2 hours until they fall asleep. Don't at any time give in. If you do it will be confusing to baby and you will be at square one. What you are saying to the baby is that it is nighttime and nighttime is for sleeping, I will be here to support you. Once they fall asleep you can leave the room. If they wake up, go back in and do the same thing. This time it will be shorter. Everytime you do this the time should get shorter until you only have to be with baby a few minutes of non crying before they fall asleep. If they wake, you will only have to go in and say shhh and they will fall back to sleep. The only reason this would not work is if you are not consistant. Do not give in. Psych your self up before you begin. There will be times you really want to give up - don't. You are stronger than you think. Once you do it one time you will be empowered to do it again and again. It should not take any longer than a week (only a couple of days of the really hard part). I know a week sounds like a long time but it beats a year of what you are dealing with now. This I do not beleive will hurt your baby. He is just crying to let you know that this is not the way we do things mom I don't know whats up. Your just showing him how to sleep. I know how hard it is to have a 16 month old mine is having a little temper tantrum on the floor right now because he got the nail clippers and I had to take them. I tried to substitute an equally exciting object but aparently he has decided they are not equally exciting. he he

Good luck

 
Old 02-17-2005, 08:23 AM   #10
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

My daughter is nearly 5 and i went through exactly the same, she also has had the same routine since the day she was born dinner, bath, and bed by 7.30 in my house, all i can say is as hard as it is and i know, stick to your guns she will eventually give up if she gets nothing after you have put her to bed, as i said mine now brushes her teeth gets a glass of water for bed i tuck her in and kiss her goodnight and that is that. Don't get me wrong she tries it all the time as kids do but if the foundations are there then they know how far they can go. Good luckxx

 
Old 02-19-2005, 07:34 PM   #11
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Re: 16 Month Old Still Wont Go To Sleep At Night :(

Lisa - I am so sorry you are STILL going through this with Haley!! It has been a rough several months for you. Here is some information I found; I will paraphrase so we don't have to worry about plagairism (sp??) or anything!
There are several experts who have different ideas. Maybe one will work.
1- Once a child understands language, you can tell her that you're going to stay in her room for shorter and shorter periods of time ("I'll be staying for just five more minutes"). You can help a child practice being alone by leaving the room to get a glass of water, load the dishwasher, and so forth. Or you can try telling your child that if she's quiet and stays in bed, you'll come back in a few minutes and give her an extra hug and kiss.
2- Create a consistent bedtime routine. Don't hold, rock, or nurse a child to sleep, and don't use a bottle or pacifier. NEVER put a child to bed with a bottle. While these methods may work in the short term, they teach your child to depend on being put to sleep, rather than falling asleep on her own. If she won't fall asleep, try letting her cry for progressively longer intervals of time, starting at five minutes, increasing to ten, and so on. After each interval, you can spend about two to three minutes with her, reassuring her by talking to her and possibly patting her on the back, but not holding her.
3- Watch the clock to see when your child shows signs of sleepiness — and make that time the regular bedtime. Plan a bedtime routine and discuss it with her so she understands what you'll be doing, when, and why. The routine should always end with your child quiet and awake in the crib so she can settle herself to sleep.
4- Be firm. You can help your child with self-comforting techniques by giving him a stuffed animal or blanket and helping him find his thumb. Follow a bedtime ritual that is supportive and comforting. A "lovey" is really important and one of the reasons I think Ian has always gone down well...he has his blankie!
Okay, all that said by the experts...I think they most important thing now is a lovey if she doesn't have one, and for you to change bedtime from scary and stressful to relaxing and soothing. At this point you are both at your wits' end. Try starting over. Lie down with Haley at bedtime and just be there with her, comforting her, as she drifts off, but get up before she's totally asleep. Make sure she has her lovey with her too. Once she is used to this, and is calm when she's told it's bedtime, start lying there for shorter periods of time. When you get up, tell her it's okay b/c she has her lovey with her to keep her company and she can hug it to fall asleep. Let her be dependent on the blankie or stuffed animal...what can it hurt? Make it something she can take everywhere. She'll wean herself from it when it's time.
I hope you can find something that works SOON!!!!
Gotta go feed my little dumpling now!

 
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