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Old 01-30-2005, 06:30 PM   #1
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Connie in Al. HB User
Question How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

My son has been sleeping with me since he was 2yrs old. I would let him sleep with me when he was sick, I tried putting him back in his bed several times but I was playing musical beds all night going from mine to his to mine again. It got really old then before I knew it it turned into 2 years. My husband has been sleeping in another bedroom for 2yrs, That is the reason my son is an ONLY child. I want to make it a good experience not a nightmare for all of us. I would like him to be sleeping in his bed when he starts to school in the fall.
Any suggestions PLEASE!!

Thanks,
Connie in Al.

 
Old 01-30-2005, 06:58 PM   #2
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Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

WOW sorry to hear you are going through this You must have a very patient husband I am also going through sleep problems with my 16 month old daughter and also posted a thread hoping to get advice. A lot of the advice I have been given so far is to just let her cry. Keep checking her of course, but to let her cry it out, maybe you might have to do the same with your son ???? I guess you have tried all the reward stuff with him ? ie if you sleep in your bed I will give you this or that . I guess sometimes we just have to be cruel to be kind in the long run. You may have to just suffer a lot of sleepless nights for a while and put him in his bed with a night light on and shut the door ! Im sure you have probably already done that, but you may have to perservere for a while till he gets the point you will not let him out of his room or into your bed. Anyway sorry I cant offer much advice, hope it works out for you so you can have a life and a marriage again
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Old 02-02-2005, 08:06 PM   #3
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Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

Hi, we went through the same problem with both of our boys too. We put a blanket and pillow on the floor beside our bed and told them there was not any room in our bed now that they are "big boys" and if they wanted to sleep in here to be with us they needed to sleep on the floor, or in their own nice bed in their bedroom. Those were the choices. The floor or the bed in their room. So on the floor they slept, I would even hold their hand for a bit if they were scared.
Then after a week or so of this, we explained that after they fall asleep we would put them in their bed, and if they woke up and wanted to come back to our room, the bed on floor was where they could sleep.
It was a long process but at least I got more sleep this way and eventually they stayed in their bed and we could remove the floor bed from our room.
Good luck and hang in there,

Rhonda

 
Old 02-05-2005, 12:48 PM   #4
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Connie in Al. HB User
Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

Thanks for the info. I have let him cry before when he was younger and my husband was out of town on business.(It worked too) he slept in his bed for a while then a few months later he got sick and I wanted him to be near me incase he needed me for something and thats how it got started agian. My fault.
My husband can't stand to hear him cry.....Now he is not working out of town anymore soo I may have to send my hubby to stay with a relative to get thru it. I pick my battles and I stick to it, Husband bends to easy.

I've never thought about the floor that's a good one, If "I" had a choice of the floor or a soft bed I know which I would choose. But Kids are different but at least that gets him one step closer to his bed.

Thanks,
Connie in Al.

 
Old 02-05-2005, 05:33 PM   #5
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Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

Hi again, just a thought, do you put him back in his bed once he has fallen asleep or does he spend the whole night in your bed ?
My daughter went through the stage where she would wake up every single night and would only go back to sleep in our bed I use to fall asleep and then she would end up being in bed with us all night. The only way I broke the habit was by forcing myself to stay awake and as soon as she had fallen asleep again I would sneak her back in her own bed. Within a couple of weeks she was use to waking up in her own bed and stopped waking at night to come in our bed Have you tried doing that ?
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Old 02-06-2005, 12:22 PM   #6
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Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

I have a 4 year old that sleeps with my husband and me. He's been in the middle every night since he was born. We are fixing to try what my sister-in-law said worked for my niece. She said to let him pick out his own bed, the sheets, blankets and whatever else he wants for his bed. She said it was pricey, she picked out one thing at a time and left it in the package and buy the time she had gotten everything ready, my niece was excited and ready to sleep in her new bed. My son has been eyeballing the toddler beds that wal-mart has been carrying. They had Winnie the Pooh, Dora the Explorer, Mickey Mouse and some other character. I can't remember what the other one is. My son has been talking about the little beds every night so I think were going to get one when our tax refund gets here. Good luck in having your own bed once again!

 
Old 02-07-2005, 06:45 PM   #7
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MomwithMS HB User
Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

Well, here's how we solved this problem in our house.

I made a HUGE deal out of giving my four year old her "big girl" room. I painted the walls pink, purple and white. I put Barbie stickers all over the walls and bought Barbie sheets too.

Now, I have the opposite problem - I can't keep her out of her room. She plays in there all day long and won't come out unless I make her!

Best of luck!

 
Old 02-09-2005, 07:34 AM   #8
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Connie in Al. HB User
Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

No he sleeps all night with me, I at one time would lay with him in his twin bed. (Very uncomfortable) and when he went to sleep I would go to my bed. But then he would wake up and start hollering for me. I would go back to his bed then (if I didn't fall asleep) I would go back to my bed. So there were nights I would make so many trips back & forth I never knew which bed I would wake up in. It got old quick!! But I did this for about a month or two

He has gotten so use to me in the bed with him he says he is scared to sleep alone.
I've offered to buy him a new bed (his has a horse on it and he LOVES horses so I don't think I could do better than that) and new comforter if he would sleep in there. He didn't really even consider it.
I may try putting him in his bed after he falls asleep, If I can he weighs 62 lbs
he is very Heavy, You add dead weight to it. I may not can budge him. Ha Ha

Connie in Al.

 
Old 02-09-2005, 09:59 AM   #9
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FrontierDriver2 HB User
Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

I used to sleep in my parents bed as a child. My mother tried so many different things to get me to sleep in my own bed but nothing worked. Finally I remember she just started crying over it and I realized what I had to do. Never went back to the parents bed again

 
Old 02-09-2005, 10:30 AM   #10
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Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

Hello Connie

I went through this with my son too. What we ended up doing was putting his bed in our room, so that if he woke up, Mommy&Daddy were right there (beats running from room to room). Then after like a year, we put his bed back in his "Big Boy" room, which TRUST ME, you can let them pick our their own sheets, etc. and some (including my son) will not give a hoot when it comes to bedtime! The trust must be built up, so that they are not scared to be alone. Then we started tucking him in his bed and lying with him for a few minutes until he got sleepy. Now, we just tuck him in, kiss him goodnight and go in our own room. Some nights he does GREAT and stays in his bed all night, (we reward him for this with praise or sometimes something very small at the store),then others he will wake up and squirm in with us and we are too tired or lazy..haha....I like the word TIRED to put him back in his bed. As they get older it gets easier. We have explained to him that he is just too big to sleep in Mommy&Daddy's bed anymore and NEEDS to sleep in his own bed. Have patience from all those nights with their feet up your *** or in your back..HAHA...they do get better!! Hope I've helped and good luck. I know how tiring this can be for the parents.
Melly

 
Old 02-09-2005, 02:14 PM   #11
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Connie in Al. HB User
Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

I sure hope it gets better Maybe when he starts to school and finds out that all his friends sleep in their own bed that might influence him to try it. Right now he doesn't even consider trying it. If I can make room for his bed in our room we might try that route. It sure helps to know that people have tried this and that and it WORKED, Maybe it would work for us TOO.

Connie in Al.

 
Old 02-16-2005, 03:22 AM   #12
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Lightbulb Re: How do I get my 4yr old out of MY bed.

I tend to divert my 4 nearly 5 year old to the sofa at 3 in the morning, at least she is not in my bed!!!!

 
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