Ian is a TERROR. He will be 4 in May and he's just awful. I know a lot may have to do with the fact that my MIL has kept him while my DH and I worked, from the time he was 4months old until just a couple of months ago. Even now she keeps him 3 days per week b/c I work part-time, and she doesn't make him mind like he should. But it seems like he was a very sweet, biddable child til he hit 3, then all heck broke loose. We have tried time-out, spankings, taking away toys, taking away fun stuff, etc and nothing works. He won't clean up his room even after I told him if he didn't I'd throw away anything he left out - and I DID! And still the next time he wouldn't clean up! He also has a new trick- LYING. Seems like he lies just for the heck of it - not just when the truth would get him in trouble. Is this a phase or what? He also does things that he knows are wrong - on purpose. Drawing on things, etc. Any good tips out there about discipline? I don't know what to do with him. Thanks!
Personally, I found 4 to be the hardest age of all with my 2 boys. I've often said that I think it's the most under-rated age there is. They seem to go through all the tanturms/willfullness that 2 year olds do, but at this age, they know exactly what they're doing.
A book that I found to be extremely helpful is called "SOS! Help For Parents" by Lynn Clark, PhD. Last I checked you could buy it online.
One aside - I don't think that a not quite 4-yr-old is capable of cleaning up a room without help. I wouldn't have a power struggle over that one. Instead, I'd make it a game. Set a timer and see if you and he together can "beat the clock" in cleaning up the room. As long as he is helping, it doesn't matter if you're doing most of the work. If he goes for that, then try a new one - see how many things he can pick up in a minute. However many he picks up, he WINS!! (they love this!) Then see if he can beat his record.
i have a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy that will be 4 in june , they are monsters , bed time cleanup etc it hard i try corner quiet time and spanking didnt work either when they are being really bad i send them to there rooms , i dont spak because they just look at me like im supit but they have there time were there perfect little angels, i just figure they will grow out of it as long as i keep trying ,