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the talk

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Old 02-07-2005, 11:14 AM   #1
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mom9302 HB User
the talk

When and how should I discuss sex to my preteen? If their are any books out there that you believe are good for this please let me know. My son is 11 and I want him to ask me not someone else. I have and will always be very honest with him.

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Old 02-07-2005, 11:41 AM   #2
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pcantona HB User
WHEN and HOW to do this is very individual to how your mature your boy is and how he acts. I personally think 11 is too young, but maybe when he is 12-13 or so.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-07-2005 at 05:04 PM.

Old 02-08-2005, 01:29 AM   #3
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rfj120 HB User
Re: the talk

I agree with pcantona that this is a very individual thing. But I'm not sure I'm convinced that 11 is too young for many kids. My son was 11 last year when we decided it was time to be more proactive. Incidentally his school at the same time decided to move their initial sex education class to grade 5 (age 10-11) for the first time. Some parents were uncomfortable with this but the evidence was unfortunately clear that sexual activity was occurring (and the inevitable consequences being seen) at younger ages.

We bought two books to help us: It's Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris and What's Happening to my Body? by Linda Madaras. The latter comes in boys and girls editions. The first one combines boys and girls and also is much more lively: an irreverent style and lots of colourful pictures. Some may find it too explicit or be put off by its tongue-in-cheek approach but it is, in my opinion, much more accessible for pre-teens.

I read the first chapter with my son and had a couple of brief discussions with him then simply left the book in his room for him to read (or not) as he wished. The Madaras book we're holding in reserve for when there's evidence he needs more in-depth information. So far he and most of his friends are still at the giggling, don't-you-really-hate-her, kind of phase in their girl talk but they're growing up fast (gulp). Good luck!

Last edited by rfj120; 02-08-2005 at 01:30 AM.

Old 02-08-2005, 10:38 AM   #4
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Re: the talk

I apreciate your input I was just wondering from other parents when they started to talkand maybe what books,etc. they used My son has displayed no real intense interest in girls. Just kid stuff however I want to be on top of this situation and I want him to get his answers from me and his dad not another kid. Thank you for the book titles.

Old 02-09-2005, 10:03 AM   #5
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FrontierDriver2 HB User
Re: the talk

Your son probably knows alot more already than you think he does. 11 year olds these days are exposed to alot more stuff in our world that teach them early. I would say have the talk now. He might be kinda shy about it but now is probably a good time.

Old 02-09-2005, 03:21 PM   #6
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Re: the talk

I know i'm not a mom...i'm still a teen but i think you should go ahead and have the talk with your son ... kids these days are learning young.... most kids know by the age of 8 and 9 what sex is... they don't know the real meaning behind it but they do know... and they probably know what almost all the terms mean and most kids know more terms than their parents... i never had a sex talk with my parents till after i had all ready messed up and had i think it would probably be best to go ahead and talk to him about it ... it might take more than once... cause i ran from the subject... and my parents let me..and i messed up.. and know i wish i would have waited till marrage ..and alot of kids these days are wanting to experiment at really young ages... just the other day i heard of a 9 year old that was pregnant..i'm not sure how old the father was but he wasn't much older..but i hope i haven't went in to the sublect to discriptive......but i hope i have helped

Old 02-09-2005, 04:57 PM   #7
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mom9302 HB User
Re: the talk

I wanted to thank everyone who has replied I figure I will weigh all the options and I will do something very soom. Again Thanks and Kazy just becuase your a teen doesn't mean your opinion is valued less than an adults is.

Old 02-09-2005, 05:13 PM   #8
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steelfan3838 HB User
Re: the talk

i got the talk when i was 11. i was in fifth grade and we had one at school and my mom also gave me one at home. i think that was the right age.

Old 02-10-2005, 03:40 AM   #9
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: the talk

My mom gave me a great book when I was about 11. It was called "Letters to Judy". I don't know if kids still read Judy Blume...I was a product of the 80's. It's a huge book of letters written by kids to Judy all about EVERYTHING that has to do with sex, their bodies, etc. Every chapter is about a different topic, so I could look up whatever I was curious about when I felt like it. And it didn't make me feel bad because other kids had the same questions as me. I kept it for all of these years and will give it to my kids when they're old enough.

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