Inevitably, I discovered for the first time recently that my generally well-behaved pre-teen had been searching for porn images on the PC. Most of what he pulled up was relatively benign -- not much different than the nude pictures that circulated in the schoolyard when I was that age -- but some images were pretty graphic. (Among them was an explicit cartoon of Bart and Lisa Simpson having intercourse!) Anyway I talked to him calmly, acknowledged that curiousity is normal, let him know I was disappointed and had hoped I wouldn't have to put filters on the computer, tried to revive the discussion about puberty. As with previous such discussions he was pretty non-responsive. I'm curious if others have had to deal with this issue and how you handled it. I tried putting an adult-content filter on the PC before but was not satisfied with it as it blocked access to too many legitimate sites. Anyone found one they're happy with?
Yes, I too found that my son at that age was on some porn sites, I did talk to him like you did with your son. Then I put a parental block, I don't remember how because my sister did it for me.
BUT....I also had issues with porn when I would be on the computer, it would pop up, do to some virus or something my son may have done - at the time I had AOL as an internet provider - I called and complained but they wouldn't do anything....I switched to another internet provider and have had a problem since. Also, I wouldn't allow my son to keep his computer in his bedroom, that is a big issue with kids today and having computers in their rooms...I am lucky to have an area / office off my kitchen that I can see what he was doing...
Thats a good idea to keep it in your kitchen. Anywhere that is open and has a good amount of traffic going through the area. We have a password on our computer so it can only be used when a parent is home.
__________________
married 6/26/04
DD born 5/25/05
I actually discovered my 12 yr old boy was watching porn as well. He actually had pretty good taste. He obviously knew how to use any of the computer's functions better than anyone in the family. I discovered he had two other emails and warehouses on the Internet. Me and my wife knew nothing of this. I was actually impressed, but, then again, even though he didn't look good, had very few friends, and had had no girlfriends, he was INCREDIBLY smart.
Bleh, kids and porn.. The idea of keeping it in your kitchen is good.. as well as the password locked so they cant go on when your not home. Its also good because the computer is starting to take over a lot of kids life. Now I'm 15.. a girl.. and I think porn is pretty nasty. I get random pop up ads of porn and I have had porn viruses before without ever accessing a porn website..
so the internet blehh.
__________________
best friends is not only two words put together, but the defintion of two people.
I have 3 sons and the only comment I have is who is in charge at the house? You need to take control of the computer. I don't understand why if he is looking at material in your home on your computer that you object to why you want to allow him to use the computer at all. Move the computer to a highly visable location. purchase a desk that locks and keep the key with you. Allow him acess when you are home. He's 12. If your not in charge now the next 6 years will be very difficult.
My husband got into porn at the age of 14. Unfortunately it is really more of a guy thing I guess. I myself was never the least bit interested in porn. My brother also started looking at it in highschool. My husband says the worst thing you can do is have the computer in an isolated area where nobody can see what they are looking at. The porn blockers are a good idea too. Also try to explain to him why you think pornography is bad. Degrades women encourages promiscuity ect.. Good luck!
My DH is all for the restricted access... no computers in the bedroom, etc. Plus, he's a computer guy by trade, so he knows exactly how to keep up with everything that's been looked at on the computer. He said when his dad found dirty mags in his room when he was a teenager, they had a "talk" about porn. I thought this was a great idea. His dad made sure to put a human face on the girls. Reminding him that that girl was somebody's sister or mother or little girl, not just an object. He said he was never able to look at it the same way after that.
He said if he catches our son looking at porn, he will encrypt the computer where it can't even be turned on if he doesn't do it. That even prevents home alone surfing.
__________________
--Kellie
Married 09/28/2002
DS born 07/05/2003
DD born 3/24/2005
