13 going on 30
Hi. I am new here and I will try to figure all of this out and with out too much rambling. I am twice divorced and in a serious relationship of 5 yrs. I have a daughter that is 13(first marriage) and a son 7(2nd marriage)and am planning no more children.
Latley my daughter has been impossible. I divorced her dad when she was 1 and he has been out of her life more than he has been in it...no support of any kind until just recently. Her Step-dad has been her one and only "daddy" until last yr. ---My x was mr. dad. The guy every kid wished was their father. He couldnt get enough of his kids. Accepted DD as his own and even tried to adopt her a couple of times. Last yr. that all changed. I dont know why. When he chose to do this I begged and pleaded with him to change his mind. He knew what DD had been through with her bio. dad. He has refused and has sent her into a whirlwind of bad times.
She has never been a very trusting kid. always lurking and not believing that adults arent talking about her behind her back. Always needing to be center stage. but also always doing very well in school, popular with her friends. A definate leader. She has also been very moody, emotional, defiant and can manipulate quite well at times. These are traites that I noticed before school even started! I have read book after book trying to keep her on a good path. She has been in counciling on more than one occassion (until insurance runs out) and at one point even on a low dosage of zoloft.
Now that she is 13 and daddy dearest has also run out on her, she is making my life and the life of my family *HELL* in the last 5 months her grades have gone from a B avg. to failing 2 classes and having a C- avg. Her attitude towards everyone in the house has gone from bad to worse. and now, when I thought it couldnt get any worse, she has been picked up for shoplifting when she was supposed to be at an after school function!
I dont know what else to do. Her therapist was just as suprised as I was when she heard the news. I am concerned that she is involved with the "wrong crowed" but she hates me so much that I really have to limit my conversations with her. I pick and choose my battles every day where she is concerned. I try to be consistant with the rules of the house and the punishments for breaking them. Right now she has clothing and a bed in her room- nothing else. I have tried a reward system and letting her earn her privelges back. I have tried praising her for every little thing she does right just so that she knows that she isnt "wrong" all the time. I do limit her functions and who she does them with. Im looking at boot camps as a final option and its not far off!
Please anyone...tell me what can I do?? I love her so very much and she is so full of potential but her teachers and her family can hardly take much more!
Please your advice!!
Last edited by laina74; 03-12-2005 at 08:22 PM.