HOW DO i GO ON?!!!! - Parenting Issues Message Board

goingthruitalon · 07-25-2005, 12:24 PM

My boyfriend came hom to check on the kids, and heard my daugher say "why are you always trying to put that in my mouth?" to my son. he was fully dressed when he walked in but my boyfriend said it didnt feel right. I questioned my daughter and found out my son was trying. to put his penis in her face. I called police who in turn called child youth services who in turn removed him. Now he has to go to court, plus is not allowed home yet. I have no support my son hates me and I dont know what to do. I dont know if I did the right thing by calling police I think maybe I should have dealt with it alone. How do I go on? He didnt have sex with her. She doesnt hate him. She is 6 and he is 12. I am lost and hurt. What if he has beeen abused? I dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

missTee · 07-25-2005, 06:42 PM

I am very sorry that you had to call the police on your own son, but I think you did the right thing. He may hate you. But I think it might be because of his own feelings of shame and guilt and he is embarrassed because he got caught and because you involved the police. He does need to know that what he was doing is very wrong.(even if he already knew it was wrong) He needed to know what the consequences were for his actions. He may be young, but he does know right from wrong ( at least he should) if he was reacting to his own abuse from somebody else....well...that is very sad and hopefully it all comes out. That is really a horibble thing to be going through. Hang in there. You need to stay strong in all of this. Especially for your son...he may not believe it now, but he needs you to be there. As much as he pushes you away, and it will hurt, try and be supportive so he can get the help he needs (as well as your daughter!!) Have you thought about therapy for your daughter (and/or son)

suthrngrace · 07-26-2005, 07:17 AM

Um, take a deep breath. I can only imagine what this is like for you, but you did what you had to do. Hopefully both of your children will get the help they need and move on with as little harm as possible. I know a woman who was abused by her uncle as a child. They were 4 and 16 at the time; once it all came out she was not the first. If the family had not covered up for him or if the victims had spoken up they might have stopped him and gotten help for everyone in need. Instead they have a torn family and who knows how many victims… So just know that you took steps in the right direction to take care of your family. You can only do the best you can, but you have to protect your daughter, while caring for your son.