arock

hi doe. having a rough time of it, eh? i don't know if i have any actual advice for you, although i don't think i would allow my kid to keep dating this boy. he may seem like a good kid, but obviously he's not having a very good effect on your daughter. but you never know. as far as her behavior goes, maybe she's acting out in response to her boyfriend going off to college. the odds that their relationship will remain solid are pretty slim when he's in a new environment, his high school girlfriend likely won't be very cool to his collegiate peers, esp at prom time and so on, plus there will be tons of 'new blood' at school, new experiences and such that she will not be able to participate in.

as for your neighbor, i don't think there's anything you can do there, legally. there aren't any laws against being nosy and gossipy, as far as i know. might double check the patriot act. *lol* really, it's none of their business, but when the police get involved and there's a big scene it can be fairly irresistable for some people, esp nosy neighbors. i'd suggest trying to conduct your private affairs quietly and indoors, away from prying eyes. set the story straight with the people who matter to you. that's pretty much all you can do.

frankly, i'd be more concerned about my daughter than what the neighbors were saying. they can go to hell, who cares, but you're stuck with that kid! my guess is that things will most likely settle down when her boyfriend goes off to college, but i don't think that i would wait for that. you should think about ending things right away. 15 is too young for physical love, although i hafta give the kid props for going to planned parenthood, that does demonstrate a degree of maturity and forethought and that, itself, shouldnt' be punished. but she went with her boyfriend, and told you nothing about it so she trusts an 18 yo kid more than her own parents, not good. not uncommon either.

if you have access to a family therapist, you might consult with him or her. i'll tell you this, my parents caught me having sex as a teenager (not actually in the act), that boy was forever banished and i was seriously grounded for a good, looooooong time. it was about a year before i spent a night at a friend's house again, and i couldn't get rides home from school, or choir, or cheerleading practice or nuthin. i did get straight A's though, so it wasn't all bad. *l*

being a teenager totally sucks. every little thing is like the end of the world, it all matters so much, then we go away to college and all that garbage falls away somehow. it will for your daughter too, just make sure she makes it into college and doesn't get left behind. school is the most important thing, and family. not boys, or friends or whatever stupid things stupid people say. good luck doe, and take care, ali