Bed time issues - Parenting Issues Message Board

Sherri-Lynne · 08-16-2005, 09:56 PM

My daughter slept in our room until she was 13 months old. Finally I thought we had the habbit beat. She is now 2 1/2 and has started it again. My husband and I both work nights, and usually have different days off. Well recently when we put her in her bed she starts freaking out and will cry for hours. I mean a screaming cry. And she will not let down, she has gone on for hours upon hours upon hours. I asked her why she won't sleep in her room. She said at first she didn't like her bed. So we went out and got her a new one. It didn't make a difference, she still freaks out. She has to sleep in mommy's and daddy's room. Even if she does pass out in her room she wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our room. I just thought we had this beat and now it's like all the screaming and crying that we put up with when she was 13 months to get her to sleep on her own was worthless. I just can't listen to it anymore. Any idea why she has started doing this again or how to fix it would help. She stopped sleeping in the crib about 6 months ago. And this habbit has started again in the last month so I don't think that that is it. Thanks SL.

Kiera1595 · 08-17-2005, 05:04 AM

I don't have an idea why she's doing it. But one thing that smart 2 1/2 year old knows is that it's working. She knows that if she screams she's eventually gonna get her way. I know how you feel, you just wanna snap from all of the crying. Adopt a no tolereance stance to her getting into your bed. Every single time she get's into bed with you, immediately pick her up and walk her back to her room. Say, "you sleep in your own room" and that's it. She's gonna hollar. But if you stay strong it should all stop in a week or two. She's gotta learn that it is not an option. I know that these 2 year olds will say anything to not go to bed. Good luck.

Ratatosk · 08-17-2005, 12:15 PM

DS has learned that if he asks for food or something to drink that he can stay up later. We've been so worried about his not eating that when ever he actually asks to eat something, we'll give it to him. Well now about bedtime he starts asking for food. Drives me nuts. Those toddlers are pretty darned smart. DS has been getting away with a later bedtime these past couple of weeks 'cuz of houseguests and out of town visitors. But it's time to crack down again. I need some time to myself to relax, get laundry done.... So it'd be great if he'd go to bed before I do.

Kiera1595 · 08-18-2005, 05:29 AM

Ratatosk, my son did the same thing, asking for food. At first I would pull him out of bed and feed him. Drove me insane. Now I let him know when he is having dinner (about 1 hour before bed) that he better eat it all because it is the last food he is getting for the day. And I keep giving it to him if he asks until bedtime. Then once he is in bed, that's it. When he asks now I say, you ate your dinner and now it's time for bed. He learned quickly that bedtime means no food. Then he started asking for water (so tricky

) So now he sleeps with a small sippy cup of water tucked into the corner of his crib. It seems to do the trick.

missTee · 08-18-2005, 11:22 AM

Sounds just like my DD. Instead of food though, she says she needs to go potty. She wears regular undies and uses the big potty so when she says she has to go I let her up she sits on the pot and sits and sits and sits sometimes she does actually go, other times she is just faking it so if too much time has passed I get her off the pot and tell her that if she has to go she would have gone already and that she can just pee in her bed...knowing that she doesn't like doing that.Plus if my bluff gets called and she wets the bed I have two water proof pads that I placed under her sheets from my hospital that will soak up the pee before it hits her bed. I don't want to add work on my end of it! As far as your DD crying and screaming and won't sleep in your bed. Can you think of any other change that may have taken place? Sometimes its the less obvious. My DD is 2 1/2 as well. I had a problem with her as an infant and younger toddler then we seemed to have kicked that bad habit once she made the transition from crib to bed. Then we kicked it again...then it started all over again about 1 month ago. There were a few nights in the course of that month that I had gone out with my girlfriends and she had to be put to bed with out me there. I didn't see why she was giving me a problem about bedtime until she said to me one night "mommy don't leave me!" Right then I realized she thought if she went to bed it meant I would leave. I don't normally go out so she is used to me putting her to bed, where my husband is in the military and she is used to him being gone for stretches.So, it really could be a number of things that upset her.Did she watch something on TV that maybe got her scared of her room? Or a story book? How is your routine at night? I actaully had to change my routine a few times because it wasn't working for my DD anymore.Even as we speak, i am trying to figure out what to do with her. She is a tough one to deal with.Always has been. When I think about it, I was the same way for my mom! I gues it is true, you'll have o ne just like yourself! Good luck, and if you happen to find out what the culprit is let us know...I would love to find something that will help me out as well!