hello parents... i need your opinion.. my boyfriend is 20 yrs old. he's really nice and everything... very polite, shy, just plain nice!!!! doesn't smoke, rarely drinks too!
now i just turned 20years old, i have a tattoo on my tummy, i used to have 8 holes in each ear, and one in my nose (i dont have it anymore.. just one on each ear and none in my nose)
a lot of people have judged me according to the piercings i have, and the tattoo i got. i dont blame them.
but i know how to treat people nicely, i love helping people. i can honestly say that i am not a bad person, and im really doing good in school.
but i have a problem with my bf's mom.. she doesn't seem to like me. and i am so scared if she finds out i have a tattoo in my tummy, i know she's going to freak out... i want to have a good relationship with her. and as parents, i need your opinion on this... thank you so much.
Last edited by goingthroughit; 02-04-2006 at 11:35 PM.
Honestly I'm never one to judge someone by their looks. I'm a 23 yr old mom who has a giant fairy tattooed on her back and looping around my hips and multiple piercings myself; so I'm in your ring....lol.
No, I think we are in an age where appearances aren't anything anymore, yet there are still many "old-timers" that frown on someone who isn't in the "norm" of social attire.
Think about it, at the turn of the last century people who had tattoo and piercings were side-show attractions at freak shows, now there are tattoo palors on every corner, its now more accepting. But I think I'm kind of getting off the point.
My point exactly is, that you seem like a nice person; obviously someone judging you by your appearance and not personality isn't giving you a fair chance. Honestly, I would bring this up to her. If I were you I would confront her and question her if she likes you or not. I know this seems extreme but in the end you'll seem like the bigger person because you had guts to bring up something like this. If she says that she doesn't like you because of your appearance then I would tell her that she is in the wrong for judging you by such a silly thing and not seeing the person you are inside. I would ask her if she rather have her son dating someone who has the appearance of an angel but the attitude of a devil.
Just remember to be yourself, don't struggle or go out of your way to prove yourself worthy of her affection. In the end it will all work out; just stay positive and just continue to act kind and polite and be that help sweet person that you are and in the end it will all work out.
I agree with Elfie...you just have to be yourself. If a person is going to have a fit over a tatoo, then the issue is on their end. It's not about the tatoo. Of course I have a very large tatoo on my back, so I'm all about the ink as well.
I know that you want everything to be peachy becasue of your BF, but sometimes people just don't get along. If she chooses to not accept you due to some holes in your ears and some coloring on your body, there's nothing that you can do about it. Just go on being the nice person that you are. And try not to let her get to you. This is your life, your feelings are the most important, not hers. I'm not saying be rude to her at all, but don't go nuts just trying to make this woman like you.
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh
I once had a boyfriend whose Mom didn't like me because I wasn't the same religion. Sometimes people are close-minded and there's nothing you can do but grin and bear it.
The real important issue is, "How does your boyfriend handle it?" Mine didn't stick up for me, so in the end we broke up. As long as you have his support, don't worry about the Mom. She may come around eventually, especially if she sees that you love her son and treat him well. That's what I'm hoping to see in a DIL.
Last edited by mitpatsmom; 02-06-2006 at 09:36 AM.
Just be yourself and let her get used to you. Often times there is no person perfect for someone son or daughter.
Theres also the possibility that she likes you and just doesnt know how to show it. I've been told many times that people think I dont like them when the opposite is actually true. Maybe you should just talk to her, get your feelings out in the open. She will most likely appreciate you being open and honest with her, and she will probably be very glad that you want to have a good relationship with her.
But dont try to change yourself, or cover your tattoo to make her like you.
You just have to be yourself! I think it's sad when ppl judge others by their appearance, but it happens all the time. It's not something I do. I have a tattoo on my back I got when I was 18, I didn't care what anyone thought of it. Then I got pregnant 3 months later... I cared a bit what ppl thought - but I was going to have her & was excited about it.
Everything has worked out the way it's supposed to. When you meet his parents, just be yourself & don't think about you worrying that they won't like you b/c then you might act different.