My daughter is now 6 and her father again has come back into our lives after an absence of nearly a year. He is extremely violent and I have gone through solicitors for indirect contact because of my fear of her safety and because his inconsistancy is really starting to upset my daughter I dont want her to be too disrupted. Since last year he has written 1 letter, my baby has been at the door as soon as she hears the postman, anyway after a week he hasnt replied and she insisted on writing again. Today however she is so disturbed, really angry and crying uncontrollably. She got back in bed and refused to get out. She has never done that!!!! Just laid in bed crying. I tried coaxing her out but to no avail, and so called dh so he could speak to her. After speaking to him, she got up and is soo distaught, i dont know what to do anymore.
She knows her father, and loves him. he has always been in and out of her life, so has his family, I have refused them access as they have disturbed her as much as he has. But i dont feel its my right to deny her her rights to her father.
I so want to stop the contact, but i know i will get the blame in the end, I dont want her messed up because of him, but i dont want her messed up through not knowing him. I have always pushed him and realise i cant make him a good dad, but how can i be a good mum????????
If i stop contact then I deny her her rights, but save her from all this heartache, but cause more in the long run, if i stop giving her any letters then i am just as bad.
But if i let it go on then she is gonna grow up for the rest of her life like this, and i cant bear to see her hurting like this.
Anyone got any advice as i dont know what to do anymore,