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Old 02-25-2006, 10:40 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 70
AliR HB User
separation question

After a few months of indecision my husband and I have decided to separate. This separation is something that is being initiated by me and is not something that my husband wants at all. When he initially learned of my intentions he went off the deep end emotionally and told our 2 children (age 6 and 8) that Mommmy was unhappy with Daddy and wanted him to leave. So obviously in this whole scenario I have become the 'bad guy' taking away their father. The day this all happened my husband emotionally blackmailed me into 'staying' as well as promising me the world. Well obviously he has not been able to deliever and he has finally come to the realization that our marriage is over. Meanwhile our children think we are trying to work things out. They are 'ok' but worried. Now that we have reached a decision, I'm not sure how and when we should tell them. Our plan is to take the next 2 months to spruce up our house before we put in up for sale. My husband will remain in our home until the house is sold and the kids and I move to a smaller house in the same neighbourhood and he moves to a apartment. Obviously they will have to be told before the 'for sale' sign goes up but I'm not sure how much before??? Also, they know that I initiated this, how do we now present things so that I don't look like the bad guy. I hesitate to share with them the reasons I am unhappy (my husband is extremely negative, irritable and verbally abusive to me...not the kids) because I don't want to harm their relationship with him. However, just saying I am unhappy doesn't seem to be enough. I am going to counselling (just me) and am planning on asking about counselling for my kids. I would appreciate any ideas, suggestions, support anyone has to give. Thanks

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