I live with my girlfriend and her 13 year old son.
His dad has been mostly out of his life for the past 11 years. They speak on the phone sometimes. His dad sometimes e-mails him. Sometimes sends him birthday or Xmas gifts.
He's mostly a good kid, aside from what I assume to be standard 13 year old disobedience.
We are considering getting married.
I think he should see a therapist. I don't really know much about therapy. But would it be helpful for him to talk to somebody to help him adjust to living with me, and adjust to a father who is mostly a jerk?
I live with my girlfriend and her 13 year old son.
His dad has been mostly out of his life for the past 11 years. They speak on the phone sometimes. His dad sometimes e-mails him. Sometimes sends him birthday or Xmas gifts.
He's mostly a good kid, aside from what I assume to be standard 13 year old disobedience.
We are considering getting married.
I think he should see a therapist. I don't really know much about therapy. But would it be helpful for him to talk to somebody to help him adjust to living with me, and adjust to a father who is mostly a jerk?
First of all, let me say I think it's great that you care for him the way you do. I think that is a great idea!! Kids when facing major changes in life benefit very much from therapy. It does not mean he's bad or has problems, but I think it will help me very much with the changes going on in his life.
i think it's an awesome idea. just having someone to help him sort through the different emotions that he is dealing with. if he learns how to deal with them now it may prevent taking them out in some negative form in the future. he would be happier and understand better different things that have happened or are happening right now in his life. :-)
I am not sure if HE even knows he's bothered by his dad's absence from his life.
But I am pretty sure it DOES bother him. A few weeks ago he sent his dad an e-mail, and every day he anxiously checked for a response, but none was there. Also, he one time said something about hoping his dad would teach him to play guitar. Unfortunately his dad lives over 1,000 miles away.
Be very careful when you choose a therapist, make sure that it is somebody with recommendations from your doctor or people you trust. Two times I went to people randomly and they did good job making me feel much worse then when I started while I was an adult who can get rid of them no questions asked. If your kid doesn't like a person go ahead and change him, you may change 10 before you find one he is comfi with.
Absolutely look for somebody who specializes in children. Adult psychologists simply are not equipped to deal with children appropriately. Their offices aren't generally set up for children and they aren't used to dealing with kids.
