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Old 03-09-2006, 11:48 AM   #1
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littlegal HB User
Am I being too hard??

I believe my stepdaughter lied to us yesterday and I am upset over it. It was over a book that needed to be checked and signed by parnts. When I asked where it was she said she couldn't find it than decided to blame her grandmother that got her off the bus that she must have misplaced it. I had this gut feeling that she was not telling the truth. She was not upset at all yesterday evening about the book. This morning I told her that I would check her desk and locker - that's when the pouting kicked in. She whined the whole morning and pouted. She told me I did not have to check her desk she was sure she brought it home. Well needless to say - we found it in her desk after checking grandmother's house, school office and her locker. My husband believed maybe she honestly thought she brought it home but I could tell by the look on her face she was lying. She had that smirk on her face. I think she needs to be corrected some how but the dad and grandmother thinks it was an accident. No harm done!! I don't want her growing up to be like her bio mom and lie about everything . Any suggestions?

 
Old 03-09-2006, 12:00 PM   #2
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Re: Am I being too hard??

I was with you until you said "she had that smirk on her face." Hmmm. Sounds like you have a "past" with this child where you think she needs more guidance/discipline than her dad or grandmother. Maybe I'm wrong.

Anyway...how old is she?

Couple of things: You don't know for sure that she lied, so let this go. Sit down with her and ask what she thought would happen if she forgot the book at school. Did she think she'd be punished? Tell her that you will help her next time. If she forgot something and needs to go back to school, you'll help her.

Last edited by jimmielegs; 03-09-2006 at 12:00 PM.

 
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Old 03-09-2006, 02:41 PM   #3
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Re: Am I being too hard??

My sister was always one for losing stuff -- she once lost a winter coat in the dead of winter when it was freezing cold. Mittens, hats, clothes, shoes.... Library books and videos were the worst. Got to the point where my parents FORBID her from checking out books from the library. She was just one of those kids that just couldn't keep track of stuff and her mind was always elsewhere.

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt this time and if it happens again or she starts making a habit of losing things and blaming others, then your husband may need to have talk with her about it. If she was dishonest about it, then she'll more than likely do it again.

 
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