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Old 03-20-2006, 08:13 AM   #1
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Biting

My 2 1/2 year old bit two children at daycare last week. Part of it I believe is a supervision issue -- apparently at preschool during show and tell he had announced earlier "I bite" and when it was his turn he walked up to another child, rolled up his sleeve and BIT him in the arm. Then later he was sitting in the bathroom on a potty chair -- bounched his chair across the bathroom and bit another child who was also on the potty.

I've talked to DS -- told him he was naughty, threatened to take away one of his favorite dvds and he also got put in the corner at preschool.

I can hardly face the parents of the two kids he bit when I walk in the door to pick up DS. I'm hoping this isn't a new behavior and that this is something he saw one of the older kids do and is imitating the behavior. DS was bitten a couple of times earlier in the year by another child.

 
Old 03-20-2006, 12:25 PM   #2
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Re: Biting

Sounds frustrating.

I would not call your son naughty. They don't understand the difference between doing something wrong and being a naughty person (maybe I read your post wrong on that one). Make sure you clarify that his action was something he should not have done (say "we DO NOT bite others"), validate his feelings (I understand you were frustrated but next time...), and follow through with a consequence (don't threaten to take something away - take it away). May not do any good by the time you get home though. It's too late by then.
Make sure the school follows through with a consequence right away. If my sons school put my DS in the corner I would pull him from that school. They can use a time out or better yet take him away from others and toys for a time out. I do not like humiliation as a punishment. I prefer natural consequences. You bite your friends, you do not get to play with your friends.

Tell the other parents you are sorry and you talked to your son about it and that it should not happen again. There is not much more you can do. They will either have to get over it or not. I am sure their kids have done less than desirable things at times also. Comes with the territory of being a parent.

 
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Old 03-20-2006, 02:16 PM   #3
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Re: Biting

We do use the word naughty because he seems to understand then that he's in trouble. He gets a timeout and we say, "DS, you were naughty because we don't kick" And then we ask if he's going to behave. He says sorry and gives us a kiss. It's really very rare that we have to give him a time out or talk to him about misbehaving.

I suspect that the biting is something he's seen one of the older kids do and he's imitating. There've been other "biters" in his school it seems like an ongoing issue, in which there's a new victim every day -- hopefully this is just a one time deal.

At least the daycare never tells the parents of the child who was bitten or hit, which child did it. I just feel guilty and mortified when I see them.

DH asked him this morning what he was NOT going to do this morning and he said "no biting".

The standing in the corner is DH's method of timeout. And when the director put him in time out, he turned around the time out chair and put himself in the corner. She apologized because she said she's not supposed to put children in the corner.

 
Old 04-17-2006, 12:07 PM   #4
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Re: Biting

I watch a 2 year old in my home with my almost 3 year old. Both are boys. I also have a 6 , 9, and 15 year old boys.
It seems that you are giving alot of attention to the negative behavior.
I would try telling him to give everyone a hug or a high 5 today. Don't even mention the biting. Offer other suggestions and not tell him what you don't want him to do.

 
Old 04-17-2006, 01:51 PM   #5
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Re: Biting

Thank goodness ds's biting incidents were short lived and haven't happened again. Still contend he wasn't being adequately supervised --he'd expressed his intentions that he was going to bite, there was time to have stopped him or directed his attentions elsewhere.

Also, any attempts to bite since that time have been when he's been roughhousing with us or friends and gets a little excited. Not sure if it was a curiousity issue, teething or he just was a "happy biter", but thank goodness it's stopped.

Last edited by Ratatosk; 04-17-2006 at 01:52 PM.

 
Old 05-11-2006, 09:41 AM   #6
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Re: Biting

Our pediatrician told us that young children who bite do it out of frustration, they are not just being mean. She told me when you punish him (timeout, whatever) you go into detail about why he is being punished and then when you are done punishing him, you go over it again.

 
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