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Old 04-03-2006, 12:03 PM   #1
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Having kids close together...

Dh and I are currently TTC baby #2. Does anyone out there have babies close in age ( ds is 11 months old)? We want them to be close, but I am thinking I may feel overwhelmed with 2 kids that close in age. I would love to have some of your insight! Thanks.......

 
Old 04-03-2006, 08:41 PM   #2
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Re: Having kids close together...

I had 3 under 3. I wouldn't recommend it. The early years in a child's life are so demanding. Having 2 really close in age means that you are pulled in yet another direction. Life can get so chaotic when you are changing 2, feeding 2, etc that you find you aren't spending quality time with either of them. Keep in mind that they are also at 2 totally different stages of development so it isn't like having twins in the least. One child is able to do something while the other child is a year behind.
Things are calming down now that mine are 6,5, and almost 4. I would have spaced them farther apart if I had it to do over again. Good luck with whatever you decide
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Old 04-03-2006, 09:17 PM   #3
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Re: Having kids close together...

mine are close in age...my first two are 11 mos apart...not planned that way, that's for sure...

now, they are 14,13,11,9...and then my lil oops.. is 3... (and a 17 yr old stepson!)

At one point I had 3 in diapers... i remember it factually, but I don't look back and remember life being so chaotic...::shrug:: honestly, in my opinion... having babies and toddlers is MUCH easier than dealing with the teenagers they become! Granted, our place wasn't always the cleanest, and the laundry sometimes piled up... for the most part, my memories of those times are all pleasant...

yours would be about 2 years apart...i think that's great spacing... they grow up close...

 
Old 04-04-2006, 04:11 AM   #4
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Re: Having kids close together...

Thanks so much! I completely understand both points. Angelique- I hear you about not having the perfect house- noone ever dies wishing they had more time for laundry!

 
Old 04-04-2006, 05:07 AM   #5
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Re: Having kids close together...

I also have to agree with so much of the above post. Having a teenager, my oldest is 14, is a much more emotional job. I have often said that I would take the physical work of little one's over the emotional work of a teenager any day. Why is it that a 14 year old can take more out of you than 3 LITTLE ONES????LOL
One of the biggest pressures is trying to keep up with it all. I too finally had to decide that spending time with them meant so much more to them than a clean house. When you start prioritizing like that it does become alot easier
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Old 04-04-2006, 06:22 AM   #6
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Re: Having kids close together...

My kids are 22 months apart. When the 2nd one came along it was very tough in the beginning!! I was being pulled in two directions as they both needed a lot from me. And I did feel bad for the lack of attention that I was able to give the older one in the first few months. But now it's a year later and everything is getting a lot easier! The 3 year old is much more independant and they can both play toghether more. I know that as the years go on it is going to be cool that they are close in age. But now that my youngest is the age my son was when I got pregnant I couldn't imagine doing it again. It was tough.
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Old 04-04-2006, 08:09 AM   #7
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Re: Having kids close together...

I am waiting for to have another for some of the reasons give by PP. I think if you want to have them close then do it right away (6 weeks post partum). Then when your 2nd is born your first is only 1 and he/she really doesnt really "know" that your attention is divided. If you don't do it that fast then I think you should wait until they are at least 3 years apart. I say this because from around 15 months to 3 your toddler is sooooo needy. I personally do not think it is fair to them, to bring a new baby in, that will take so much of your attention. Plus I see how hard it is for my friends and do not wish that on my worst enemy.

Of course everyone is different and some moms get help from relatives and the father. If it is just you though, I think it would be just way to hard. 11 months is much different than 18 months.

Last edited by rouge; 04-04-2006 at 09:24 PM.

 
Old 04-04-2006, 09:35 AM   #8
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Re: Having kids close together...

I coulnt' imagine having two babies who weren't mobile. How are you supposed to carry one big old 11 month baby and a newborn? Plus it's really not good for your body to have babies that close together.
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Old 04-05-2006, 08:53 AM   #9
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Re: Having kids close together...

i can second that..its hard on the body (2 of mine are 11 mos apart..eeek) and for me, my second one had a bowel disease that required surgery, so when i brought him home from the hospital, he had a colostomy bag... i also had a stepson who was 4 at that time... took me a good while to figure out how to old my newborn when my almost 1 yr old was barely starting to walk...

...but I did it....it can be done.... just might not be an "ideal" situation...

 
Old 04-09-2006, 05:44 PM   #10
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Re: Having kids close together...

I have 2 close together, 2 and 3 weeks. I know it's early days yet but it's going great. I would rather it this way where I am still used to changing nappies and sleepless nights rather than doing the whole hard process again in years to come. My eldest is so helpful and loves her sister. They don't get jealous at that age either, when I feed the baby the other one gets her doll and sits in her little armchair feeding and burping it. She helps me bath her and gets all her nappies and things, she even makes silly noises at her.

 
Old 04-10-2006, 04:23 AM   #11
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Re: Having kids close together...

I have 2 sons 22 months apart and I wanted it that way, I wanted them closer it just took longer than I thought to get pregnant the second time round lol, they are 6 and 4 now and I've never had a problem with spending time with each of them. They are both very very close which I think is great.
I would reccomend having them close in age to anyone.

 
Old 04-10-2006, 09:22 AM   #12
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Re: Having kids close together...

My dd at 3 is much harder to handle now than when she was younger. Before I could just put on her what I want, grab her and take to daycare. Now every morning it is hell dealing with her, she is very picky about clothes, food, even cup color, instead of sit and eat she is wondering around or she makes a scene 'cause she does not want to go to daycare and rather watch tv.

 
Old 04-27-2006, 07:11 AM   #13
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Re: Having kids close together...

I too had 3 under 3. Looking back at those early days, it's kind of a blur but those were good times. My kids are now 8, 9 and just turned 11 and I will have to say that those chaotic early days were much easier than it is now. The kids are so busy and it's harder to keep up now than when I was changing all those diapers. Now all their activities and school projects etc all at the same time can be a little overwhelming. And I'm sure it's going to be hard when they all move out at the same time. Anyway, looking back I would do it all over again. My only regret is that we should have gone for that #4 child because when they are this close in age, somebody is always left out when there's just 3.

 
Old 05-09-2006, 05:54 PM   #14
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Re: Having kids close together...

I have three children each two years apart. (10,8,6).
There is an 11 year gap between myself and my siblings, this being a reason why I had my children close together so they would have someone close in age as I missed out on that completely. Very much hard work though and I feel like i haven't been able to give each of them the time needed. Mostly (as in many families) my middle child has had it the toughest due to her position. I think about 4-5 year gap would be most ideal....

 
Old 05-09-2006, 07:33 PM   #15
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Re: Having kids close together...

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelique5
mine are close in age...my first two are 11 mos apart...not planned that way, that's for sure...

now, they are 14,13,11,9...and then my lil oops.. is 3... (and a 17 yr old stepson!)

At one point I had 3 in diapers... i remember it factually, but I don't look back and remember life being so chaotic...::shrug:: honestly, in my opinion... having babies and toddlers is MUCH easier than dealing with the teenagers they become! Granted, our place wasn't always the cleanest, and the laundry sometimes piled up... for the most part, my memories of those times are all pleasant...

yours would be about 2 years apart...i think that's great spacing... they grow up close...

Mine are 14, 8, 7, 6. All boys. I also had 3 in diapers. Very chaotic sleepless times.

I agree 2 yrs apart is probably a good space.

 
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