Hi i'm new to this board but, i have a problem with my parents. They are giving my younger brother all the attnetion. He is in baseball and they think that is soo good! But now i am moving into High School and i wont have to deal with going to games, practices and sofourth. But when i want to go and do somthing with my friends......the answer is always NO....i have good grades in school, i'm very athletic, i'm in band, piano, and i sing in Choir. But eversence a problem i had last year with my cousin they have not trusted me or anything. I am always in my room....like last week it was my brothers birthday and HE got to pick where we ate (he picked a place he knew i didnt like just to make me mad), My parents took him wherever he wanted to go. And when they came home and had cake...they never asked if i wanted anything to do with it......I feel soooo abandednd in my house and now i have a really strong relationship with my cousin But i dont know what to do!!!! Any advice?? PLEASE HELP
You can do ANYTHING if you give your best
My parents were always treated my brother better than me. He was a late child and it was spread on much more issues than you have. I think you should learn to leave with that and accept it. I have a difficult relationship with my mother and even saw shrink about it. Only thing is learn to accept it as hard as it is. I am not succeeding in it myself.
is it possible to tell your parents how you feel? maybe they dont' even realize? Maybe you could write them a letter...(that would have been my choice, cause i couldn't talk to my parents back then without crying! doh!)
In many families, i see the boys having more freedom...i think some parents think they're protecting their "daughters" that way, and don't realize how much more complicated it is than that, and how hurtful...
I feel for you, I really do. I experienced pretty much the same thing with my mom and stepdad. My brother was my mom's favorite, and my sister was my stepdad's, because she was his only biological child. I made good grades, had nice friends, didn't do drugs or drink, and was an A, high B student who took all of the honor classes. My brother, on the other hand, did drugs, skipped school and dropped out his senior year. My sister ran away from home at the age of 15 to try and get married to her abusive boyfriend and later tried to kill herself over the same guy. Now, many years later, they admit that as teenagers, I was the easiest and best to deal with. I often think in my head that yeah, I was that way because you didn't let me do anything that would allow me to get into any kind of trouble.
It's really hard to deal with when you are experiencing it. I wound up spending a lot of time at my granny's house, because I didn't feel the overwhelming need to be perfect for her. I'm very close to her now, which is a great thing. I'm almost 29, and now, I'm kind of glad that I wasn't able to get into the kind of trouble my brother and sister did. They've had to struggle to work out their problems, and in some ways, at 22 and 26, they haven't done that yet. I also am rather proud of the fact that everything I have, I've earned. I didn't have it handed to me, as they did.
But, I will say that I've had to have therapy to work through some of this. I will give you one suggestion though, which I wish I had done when I was your age. When you feel like they are abandoning you or not including you in anything, go out of your way to make sure you are included. Just butt yourself right in, because I'll bet your parents might not even realize they are doing it or if they do realize it, they might think that you don't want to be included. My mom tells me that was the case with me. I hope things get better with you soon.