Jelous Of The New Baby - Parenting Issues Message Board

alleycat2 · 05-01-2006, 12:46 PM

When my husband and I announced we were having a baby, everyone was excited. I was a little worried seeing my 1st pregnancy was ectopic. On my husbands side he has 3 nephews and when he told them the youngest one said he was going to punch the baby when it comes out. I was a little surprised my his response but then again he has been talking rather violent for a 4 year old. His t.v. time isn't monitoured very closely by his mom and he's been known to watch Freddy and Jason movies and ect. He runs around the house with a toy gun or knife threatning to shoot, kill or cut people. He doesn't get a lot of attention from his Mom. I'm sure it doesn't help that everyone keeps teasing him about not being the baby anymore. I am worried and I intend to keep my eye on him when the baby comes anyway. I was wondering if I am worrying for no reason?

Ausomemom2 · 05-01-2006, 01:00 PM

You have a VERY GOOD reason to worry. This child sounds very much like my nephew, also 4 years old and his mom is awful too. His parents let him do and say anything he wants. I have a 10 year old stepson, a 4 year old and a 6 month old. (all boys) My parenting style differs greatly from my sister's, therefore our children are very different. Her son runs around talking about killing stuff, plays with toy guns and knives and even cusses on occassion. One time he got mad at my 4 year old and said "You little mother....." and almost said the last part until he saw me coming towards him!! He choked my son blue once and I was mortified. He is so jealous of my kids it makes me sick. He tries to hurt them all of the time. Needless to say, we don't go around them much anymore and he is NEVER around my kids unsupervised. Your nephew sounds the same way. Please watch him like a hawk around the baby when it arrives. At this age they lack a good concept of cause and effect and consequence. My nephew picks on my 4 year old always and it goes through me like Hell. My son is autistic and has enough to overcome without having to deal with a bully. Good luck to you, I hope your nephew grows out of this, but without proper parenting he will only get worse. (like my nephew is) The more he is teased about being replaced as the baby in the family, the more he will hate the baby. I would try to talk to his parents, if you are confortable doing so. Congrats on your pregnancy! Good luck with everything.

Brandy

Ratatosk · 05-01-2006, 01:28 PM

Make sure your baby is supervised at all times when around this child. DS is almost 3 and his older cousin, who just turned 5, just spent a couple of hours trying to torment my son at a family brunch. They were playing and he convinced DS to climb into a chest and proceeded to SIT on the lid and wouldn't let him out. I wanted to grab that brat and stuff HIM into the chest. Then he kept trying to convince my son to sit or stand behind or below a chair so he could either hit him with the chair or jump on him. DH kept having to tell him NO while his parents were just oblivious about the whole thing. The mom babysits for her yougest niece, who is 4 months old, and I worry about her. Think that girl's mom has her concerns too as she's arranged for a SIL to watch the girl for the rest of the year until she can get her into the daycare she wants.

alleycat2 · 05-02-2006, 08:07 AM

My husband is very protective of my stomach and me when it comes to the baby! I know he will step in where he use to let his nephew get away with almost as much as his own Mother does. He is allowed to swear and he understands he can't swear at daycare. He plays too rough and seems to have a temper. He has seen on a few occasions his mother and father in a physical fight. He calls his mother names and blames her if he loses a shoe or anything. I try to make him mind while he is at my home but it takes a few warnings sometimes before he does what i ask him to and other times he listens well. He told his mom one day that he wanted to stay by me because I make him breakfast in the morning. Otherwise his diet consists of juice, kool aid, pizza, noodles and chips, from what I have seen. It's hard to get him too eat decent when all he wants is junk food! He seems to thrive on attention and any other time when he is at home he will play outside by himself but when he comes to visit my husband and I he wants one of us in the room pretty much all the time. I feel sorry for him but I we can only do so much and I won't let him hurt my child!