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Old 05-05-2006, 04:25 PM   #1
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InsaneMom HB User
Question What is a normal 9.5 yr old

I am sooo confused about my daughter. She acts very immature for her age and I don't know what to do about it. I have been told she will grow up on her own schedule but IMO she hasn't changed very much since kindergarden (she is in 3rd now). I want to know if some of the stuff she does is normal for a 3rd grader..
She is very clingy, especially with me. Exp. she is in gymnastics and her instructor is a guy in his 20s. She hugs all over him all the time and it seems to really make him uncomfortable. I have tried to talk to her about it but she just seems to get upset and not understand why it would make anyone uncomfortable.
She also talks like a baby a LOT!!
She had an accident (wet her pants) for the first time in about 4 years this week at school. she didn't seem upset or embarrassed by it at all.
She also doesn't do anything without me standing over her. Not brush her hair or teeth or even her homework.
Her teachers say she likes to be alone a lot. And that she has friends but doesn't have many. They also say she is EXTREMELY irresponsible.
Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas on what I can do with her? I get depressed when I think about how she acts and how in the next year or so many of her "friends" are going to start maturing and making fun of how she acts and what she does.
HELP!!

 
Old 05-05-2006, 05:45 PM   #2
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jpr604 HB User
Re: What is a normal 9.5 yr old

Is she an only child?

Some kids are like that they just always need attention. Maybe give her more time by herself and little jobs.., is there a reason you have to stand over her for her to do stuff or does she just like the company??? Explain to her she is going to have to do some things on her own, and that you know she can do it, if she try's

 
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Old 05-06-2006, 04:03 PM   #3
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InsaneMom HB User
Re: What is a normal 9.5 yr old

No she has an older sister (11.5) and a younger 1/2 brother (3) that lives with her father. I understand the needing attention thing but I give her all the attention I can. I get home about 6 and I spend time with her until she goes to bed at 9. I am the only one that ever wakes her up and we spend most of our weekends together unless it is her father's weekend. I need all the suggestions I can get.
And I only stand over her because she won't do anythign unless i do.

Last edited by InsaneMom; 05-06-2006 at 04:04 PM.

 
Old 05-06-2006, 09:15 PM   #4
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haileysheets HB User
Re: What is a normal 9.5 yr old

It's difficult to say what's going on without extensively knowing about your daughter's background/history, but I am wondering if she has *always* been like this. For instance, did she exhibit any of these problems when she was a toddler? Did it begin gradually and get worse over time? Did she go through any traumatic event that might have caused her to becoming clingy to you but withdraw from friends at school? It sounds to me like she might be having some kind of a security issue. I'm also wondering if she is close to her father and how often she sees him. If she does not have a stable male figure in her life, this is one possible reason why she is clinging onto her male gymnastics teacher. If your gut tells you that things are getting worse, I encourage you to talk to a child psychologist. Most schools have one available for free if your health insurance won't cover one. A very simple psychological technique is to positively reinforce her good behaviors and negatively reinforce her bad behaviors. When my younger sister was still doing "baby talk" (as you say your daughter is) at 10 years-old, my mom would only respond, "I will not listen to you if you do not talk your age," and then ignore her thereafter until she spoke in her normal voice. This may sound harsh, but she may simply need to be held consistently to higher expectations. I agree with the last poster that it might help to give her some more responsibility by having her do things around the home that don't involve you having to stand over her. She may begin to feel a sense of accomplishment and not feel as though she needs you there to complete even simple tasks. Just my thoughts for now...

 
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