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Old 05-25-2006, 07:53 AM   #1
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I am not going anywhere with potty training

My dd is almost 3.5 and she is not potty trained no matter what we do. We even took seminar in college. Nothing seems work. She doesn't want to sit on potty, she may or may not say if she wet. We were told that just not giving her pull up is a bad idea 'cause she will try to hold up and it will cause constipation. Any suggestion welcome.

 
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Old 05-25-2006, 01:20 PM   #2
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

We've been working on potty training our soon to be three year old. I find when I use diapers or pull ups -- even ones that are supposed to feel wet, he won't use the potty. We use thick cotton training pants and plastic pants over those.

We have DS sit on the potty (used to use a potty chair, but he likes the big toilet with a child potty seat on it) when he gets up, before meals. He reads or we read to him. Started just getting him used to the idea of sitting on the potty.

We did have a setback last week. He graduated at daycare from the 2 year old class to the three year old class and prior to that they were telling the kids about graduation, all the things they could do this summer and we think he regressed 'cuz he wanted to continue to be in the "baby" group.

Also, it took us awhile to get DS started because he was terrified of pooping. He was in the tub once and indicated he needed to go and I pulled him out and he pooped on the floor. He was terried that something came OUT of him like that.

 
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Old 05-26-2006, 07:36 AM   #3
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

We are right at the tailend of potty training and I can't believe how smoothly it went. My son is 3 and was more than happy to pee and poop all day in a diaper with no disgust. When I asked if he wanted to use the potty he would throw a fit.

Then about 2 weeks ago his daycare said it was time for no more diapers. I thought they were nuts. They said bring 5 pairs of underwear, 5 pairs of plastic training pants and 5 changes of clothes and no more diapers. So, it was time for us to do the same. The first 3-4 days were rough and I wasn't sure if it was the right choice. There were lots of accidents. But we never yelled and just told him it was ok and to use the potty the next time. But then it was like a switch and suddenly there were no more accidents. I also combined it with some advice that the pediatrician said. He said to make the potty process my son's job and not mine. To have him take off his wet pants, underwear, etc. himself. To take wipes or a wash cloth and clean himself off. And then to put his new dry clothes on. I didn't even think he could change his own clothes, but he learned very fast. I never scolded. The task of cleaning himself up was enough motivation to stop doing it.

Now he doesn't even ask for my help with anything, he just runs to the bathroom and takes care of business. I'm always finding pee in the potty and didn't even know he went. (He's still learning to always flush.) And now he's waking up in the morning dry. When just a few weeks ago he was waking up with a soaked diaper.

So, maybe try taking the diapers away all day. I never thought he'd be potty trained. It will happen.
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Old 05-29-2006, 05:28 AM   #4
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

I think we can all agree that sometimes kids are just stubborn, and no matter how much we try they are not always going to do what we want them to do, and in this case that same things goes, and I agree, give it time and it is a hard job to teach them, but sooner or later it will happen.

You could try something I we did, we use to go into the bathroom and make it a family event my wife and I would, we would go in and make believe that we went potty, and they it was our little girls turn, I know it sounds a bit crazy but it was funny when she would have to go potty and mom and dad would have to sit first.
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Old 05-29-2006, 06:07 AM   #5
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

Both my boys were potty trained probably by 2 and a half years old.

We went and bought a huge fishbowl, and filled it with small wrapped prizes. The bowl was kept high up where they could see it, but of course not reach it. We called it "potty prizes".
Each child was simply told matter of factly that when they went in the potty, they would get to pick a prize.

My first son was a bit harder than the second, but they both still "got it" within a week--my second within a couple of days! If there was an accident, we just matter of factly said, "oh, that's ok. Maybe next time you'll get your prize". They really coveted those prizes, and very soon would drag me to the bathroom to see that they "went" and got to pick out their prize.
When they could reliably "go", we did away with diapers totally.

Later we used a variation of the fishbowl prizes. They got to pick a prize when they were caught being extra-specially good or helpful without being asked. Again, it worked like a charm.

 
Old 05-29-2006, 07:06 PM   #6
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

Can I start with removing pull-up on the weekend?

 
Old 06-03-2006, 12:06 PM   #7
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

Quote:
Originally Posted by nowhere-child
We went and bought a huge fishbowl, and filled it with small wrapped prizes. The bowl was kept high up where they could see it, but of course not reach it. We called it "potty prizes". Each child was simply told matter of factly that when they went in the potty, they would get to pick a prize.
I LOVE IT!!! Great idea!!!

We used the book "Toilet Training In Less Than A Day" with both of our boys. It is also very reward-based. Worked great for both of them! You're not likely to find to find that book in bookstores, but you should be able to find it online.

Last edited by index.html; 06-03-2006 at 12:21 PM.

 
Old 06-24-2006, 10:25 PM   #8
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

I just recently "potty-trained" my 4.5 yr old son. He is my third child so I had opinions about this topic when "training" began. First of all, when my first two children were "of age" (2.5-3yr) I chose to take a cheerful and relaxed attitude; I told them both "Here are your new underwear (which we bought together and they got to choose) and when you're ready, you know where they are". I knew that there were a few things that needed to happen before they were "ready" and I couldn't expect more out of them than they were able to deliver: 1) They needed to know that they needed to go; 2) They needed to have some control over themselves (being able to hold it long enough to get to the potty); 3) They needed to be able to put on their own underwear and take down their own pants easily enough without help and to be able to use the potty (is there a step-stool, etc?). 4) They needed to "want to" go in the potty. For a short while, my daughter would want to "go" in her diaper in the closet. She'd even ask "Mommy, could I go potty in the closet?" and I would say "Sure, honey". I knew she was just getting to know herself - learning that her body did something like going potty amazed her - and she wanted privacy. One day, her frustrated father, yelled at her "No! Go in the potty - that's what it's for!" Of course, she cried and it delayed any progress already made. After I spoke with him to be kind, he didn't do it again and Sadie (daughter) regained her confidence. Same thing happened with my second child (Blake), but it wasn't until he was 3 yrs old. And he needed help wiping #2 until he was about 5, which I was happy to do because at least he was learning and there was less mess.

With Jack (our 4.5 yr old) it went a bit differently - He had the first 3 steps down but he didn't "want" to be potty trained. Some said it was because he liked the attention (he liked being a baby, being taken care of, etc). So I thought "Ok, he "needs" more attention than the first two - I am his parent - why would I deny him something he needs?". I didn't "baby" him, I just changed his diaper and would very kindly (and very occasionally) talked about "When you wear big-boy underwear, you'll be able to ____ (fill in the blank with any reward - including Disneyland)" He still didn't care - not even about Disneyland!! But one day, I was painting rooms in a house while Jack and Blake watched dvd's and we were stuck with no diapers. I told him "Jack, honey, I'm sorry but Mommy doesn't have any diapers, I need you to just go in the potty today - I have M&Ms and I'll give you one each time you go, ok?" And that's how it began. A couple weeks later (and I made sure to not buy any more diapers because he had now proved to me he could do it - with gentle remiders), he was potty-trained. I had watched him closely, and every time his hand went to his pants to "hold" himself I just pointed it out saying "Jack, see how you're holding your penis? That means you have to "go" - get up and go potty now (And if he was watching a movie, I paused it so he didn't feel like he was going to miss anything, and the same went with any activity he was involved with - just pause it). And I never missed a reward. Obviously the reward has to be something he doesn't get all the time anyway or else it loses its' value.

My first thought is to protect the child's self-esteem. I did not want the slightest belittlement (sp?) to take place - my thought was that this would hinder the whole process and create issues down the road. So when our regular babysitter (my mother-in-law) told my son "I won't change your diapers anymore - it's yucky - you take care of it yourself" I was upset. This left Jack feeling that his "caretaker" wasn't willing to take care of him - that it was conditional. Fortunately, Grandpa said he would do it, believing that it wouldn't last forever (and it didn't) Guess who Jack has a better relationship with? Grandpa, of course.

 
Old 06-25-2006, 08:50 AM   #9
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

Bravo to all of you!

 
Old 06-25-2006, 11:40 PM   #10
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

Hi guys! Saw this post and thought I would also give an idea to parents now trying to potty train or about to start down that path.With my daughter at the age of 2 I put on panties and she had I think maybe two accidents and next day she was good to go always running to her own little potty.Then came my son.At the age of 3 he was still refusing and would cry if we even suggested such a horrible thing as getting on a potty.(lol)I was told by someone who struggled with her son and a doctor had actually reccommended something to try and it worked for her so I tried and he loved it so much.We went out and let him choose his own underwear.He was really just getting into scooby and batman and so choosing these were so neat to him.I told him when we got home and I had him put on a pair I had a package of ballons and everytime he went pee pee or poo poo I told him I would let him choose what color balloon he wanted and we blew it up for him and told him lets see if we can fill his whole room with balloons and we can at night all play with him with them.Funny thing is he didnt even like balloons to much so I didnt think it would work.But within two hours of telling him and showing him the balloons He ran in to the kitchen and said I peed I peed I will never forget that.Later that night he ran in and said I went poo poo where's my balloons?It was really neat that it worked like that and so fast.We continued giving out the balloons for one week and then told him they were gone.But told him each time he did tell us he went how proud he was and made a big deal out of it like your such a big boy and his older sister would say wow your big like me now which I think he loved more than anything.Then after about a week and a half he never even said anything to anyone he would just run off and go.He never had an accident after getting his balloons.Just thought I would share it could work for someone else.Good luck!!

 
Old 06-26-2006, 08:13 AM   #11
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

Rewards work very well. When my 2 1/2 year old boy found out he could get a handful of M&M's for using the toilet, he was trained within a week. He's almost three now and has been in underwear (except at night) for six months. He always tells us when he has to go poop, though once in a while he wets a little.

We didn't use the reward system with my older son (now almost 6 1/2), and training was a tough process. He didn't figure it out until he was 3 1/2.
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Old 06-26-2006, 12:20 PM   #12
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

What kind of reward can I give dd besides sweets?
Yesterday she said that she is wet and change herself but after that she didn't said that she is wet whole day and even denied when I asked her.
She will sit on the toilet only when I ask producing nothing.
Should I not to put pull-ups?
May be it is power struggle but I am frostrated?

 
Old 06-26-2006, 02:12 PM   #13
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

See my post using small, WRAPPED toys in a fishbowl. It worked wonderfully for us.
I have heard of others using the M&M's as well, but understand that using candy may not be ok with all.

Seems that small, frequent rewards work well.

 
Old 06-26-2006, 02:51 PM   #14
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

What toys, can you give an example, where can I got them?

 
Old 06-27-2006, 06:40 AM   #15
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Re: I am not going anywhere with potty training

I got mine from Toys R Us, little party favor type toys. Age appropriate. Hot Wheels cars are good, too and inexpensive. Mind you, this was 20 some years ago!
Just about anything little is good. Kids LOVE to unwrap stuff, plus it keeps them from looking at the fishbowl and "judging" how "good" the prize is.

 
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