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Old 06-10-2006, 11:17 PM   #1
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Am I a bad sister?

I am 26 and my half sis is 14.. The other night she has been telling me shocking stuff about her and my other step sis who is 15. She has not lost her virginity yet, which I hope she's telling the truth. I want her to trust me about things and not fear that i will tell my parents. She and my step sis spent the night w/ me and I gave them a mixed drink and a few beers and let them have guys over just to hangout and watch tv, play playstation, and chat. I kicked the guys out at 3 am. I know what it is like to be a teenager and my older sis was a square and never did anything wrong, and i was the spawn of the devil. My feelings on this is just this.... She is going to go out somewhere else and do it, probaly 10 times worse. I would rather her do it in my prescence so I can protect her. I never had a sis to keep me out of trouble...I had to learn it the hard way. I want to be a friend and a sis. Am I wrong for condoning this in my home?

 
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Old 06-10-2006, 11:40 PM   #2
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Re: Am I a bad sister?

I am a mom of 3 girls...24-21-17. I don't see any issues with you letting the girls have guys over and watch movies, play games,etc till all hours of the morning. I think that is best rather than them telling their parents they are spending the night with a friend, and be in some uncontrolled environment. You do have to keep an eye of them though.....like NOT ALONE...
THe alcohol is another issue..They have another 3-4 years to just get through high school, How much do you know about their genetics and alcoholism? God forbid you have given a teen something that will eventually kill them because they happen to be susseptable.
Unfortunately you have now opened a Pandora's box, they will expect this each time they get together at your house. How are your/their parents going to feel about this...don't fool yourself into thinking they wont find out. Unfortunately when they do, you may lose your ability to keep an eye on them.......
I think you should talk to your sisters and let them know that you made a mistake allowing alcohol to be a part of the evening at your place. Tell them that you can not let it happen again, and be able to feel good about being a responsible sister. Talk to them very candidly... you know what they are feeling. Youa re still very close to the age they are.

 
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Old 06-11-2006, 01:32 AM   #3
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Re: Am I a bad sister?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NitroChic
I am a mom of 3 girls...24-21-17. I don't see any issues with you letting the girls have guys over and watch movies, play games,etc till all hours of the morning. I think that is best rather than them telling their parents they are spending the night with a friend, and be in some uncontrolled environment. You do have to keep an eye of them though.....like NOT ALONE...
THe alcohol is another issue..They have another 3-4 years to just get through high school, How much do you know about their genetics and alcoholism? God forbid you have given a teen something that will eventually kill them because they happen to be susseptable.
Unfortunately you have now opened a Pandora's box, they will expect this each time they get together at your house. How are your/their parents going to feel about this...don't fool yourself into thinking they wont find out. Unfortunately when they do, you may lose your ability to keep an eye on them.......
I think you should talk to your sisters and let them know that you made a mistake allowing alcohol to be a part of the evening at your place. Tell them that you can not let it happen again, and be able to feel good about being a responsible sister. Talk to them very candidly... you know what they are feeling. Youa re still very close to the age they are.

 
Old 06-11-2006, 01:34 AM   #4
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Re: Am I a bad sister?

Thanks nitro chic for your words of encouragement. I will take them to heart. I really don't have too much experience on parenting cause I only have a 2 yr old boy. Not used to this teenage drama!!!!

 
Old 06-11-2006, 02:18 AM   #5
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Re: Am I a bad sister?

Good then...you know whether we are mothers or sisters, we are first human...and capable of mistakes. So don't beat yourself up.Take a just course and stay steady knowing your motivation is love and concern.

 
Old 06-16-2006, 09:20 PM   #6
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Re: Am I a bad sister?

When I was a teenager me and my friends would drink in the park, or anywhere we could go. My parents knew that we were going to do god knows what and decided to let us drink at my house, whenever we wanted to drink. I felt so much better because I knew there was someone there to watch us and there was never drinking and driving. We didn't drink as much because we were being trusted and watched. Some of my other friends weren't as lucky and they were drinking all night and passed out in the park. They were found in the morning and taken to the hospital with alcohol posioning. Another freind of mine was raped in the park. See when I was a teenager nothing was going to stop us from drinking. I am so thankful that my parents were there to watch over us and made sure we stayed out of trouble. My daughter is 3 and if she is determined to drink when she is a teen I will let her drink at my house and watch over her. Remember the more you disagree the more determined they are to do it. But that is just my opinion. Good Luck. (Oh and none of those friends that were at my house every weekend have yet to turn into alcoholics.)

 
Old 06-18-2006, 02:15 AM   #7
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Re: Am I a bad sister?

I understand your thoughts and it's good that you want to look out for your little sister however condoning the alchohol was not the wisest decision. Providing alchohol to minors is a crime. God forbid but what if the boys were drinking before they arrived at your house and you didn't know it then you allow then to consume in your home which is enough to put them over the edge to intoxication. You are responsible for what ever the out come is since you provided them alchohol.

If their parents find out or an accident occurs, you will be in trouble with the authorities for this. This doesn't just affect you, it also subjects your 2 year old to the possibility of Child Protective Services getting involved....

I would have a heart to heart with little sis and tell her that you can continue the gatherings but with out the booze. Kids talk and if word gets out there from the friends that you are the party sister trust me one of these days you may be sorry. This well intentioned situation could get very out of hand.

I'm not judging you in any way but you have a 2 year old you are putting at risk if this comes back to bite you. Good Luck

 
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