It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-11-2006, 02:52 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 1,148
Frynd1 HB User
Single mom looking for help

I'm a single mother of a one-year-old boy and have a couple questions regarding my situation. I'm currently living in a small two-bedroom apartment (with a roommate) that I was able to afford off savings. In two months, when my lease is up, I'm not sure where I'll be living since I don't have enough saved up for another 12-month lease. I've considered getting a job, except I can't afford daycare and in my county, you can't get assistance unless you already have a job or are in school. I plan on starting school this fall though. I just don't know how I will be able to keep living on my own. I wont have the time to do school and work since I dont get any help with my son. Any advice on what I should do? I know little about section 8 and if that's the path I should take, where do I start? That brings me to my second issue, why I wont move in with family. My parents have been terrible about helping me through being a single mom. They would rather I go on welfair and food stamps before helping me. That isnt the main reason I dont want to live with them though. The problem is their dog. Now I normally wouldnt care about their pets, except I go to their house daily to do research on the internet (for school and jobs) since I dont have it at my apartment. They rescued a dog from a shelter before my son was born and supposedly the dog had been put out for snapping at a baby. When my son was born, sure enough the dog would bare it's teeth and snarl at my kid. My parents tell me that it's my fault for letting my son go up and play with the dog. He doesnt know any better though and it happens the minute I turn my back. They told me they'll feel sorry for me if my kid ends up getting bit (since of course it would be my fault) I just dont think a dog should be made domestic if it's that unstable. I told my mom I would report the dog if it ever bit my child and she yelled at me. Is it truly my responsibility to keep my child away from the dog, or is it their responsiblity to get rid of a dangerous animal?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-11-2006, 04:17 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 901
Angel77 HB User
Re: Single mom looking for help

Honey, it's your responsibility. He's your son. I worked dog rescue for many years and ran into this often. It is not if, it is when this dog bites your son. I feel it's up to you because you are in their home and know how they feel about getting rid of the dog. Go to the library or somewhere else to do your research stuff...it's better than a life of a scarred and scared little boy.

You know this dog is dangerous and yet you turn your back? That's insane...do not leave your son anywhere near this animal...it will bite him...the question is, how much damage will it do to him?

Your parents sound odd and like they may be a bit too much trouble. You should go talk to your local welfare dept. and see about what services you qualify for....that's why they are there. It is not up to your parents to take care of you any more. You are out of their home, have a child and are now an adult. You need to make the hard choices and if that means asking a local agency for help, that's what you need to do.

They can help you with food, housing, daycare, schooling, everything...and last time I heard, they don't bite! LOL The dog at mom's house will....you're better off with staying away from them and handling this yourself. It's not easy, but when we choose to have children, we no longer are able to make decisions without thinking of the consequences.

Good luck and talk to them soon. It takes some time to get it all figured out and you need to do it now.
__________________
If you don't experience anything bad, you'll never appreciate the good when it comes around!!!

 
Old 06-12-2006, 06:58 AM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 330
~PJ~ HB User
Re: Single mom looking for help

Thats insane! why on earth would any grandparents keep a dangerous dog! I totally agree with you, thats terrible.
I'd go to your local welfair office and see if they can help you out untill you can start school again and get some help with daycare. Best of luck to you hun

 
Old 06-12-2006, 10:51 AM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pickaway Co., Ohio, USA
Posts: 3
Patti515 HB User
Re: Single mom looking for help

It's usually your local Housing Authority that issues Section 8 housing certificates and manages Public Housing. Usually there is a waiting list ... you will need to apply right away. If your community has a community action agency, also check there for help. Sometimes they help with one month's rent or a deposit, and sometimes they can even help with furniture (generally used). If you are unable to find housing right away, check on shelters. In some communities, those who are "homeless" are given a priority with Section 8, but not with all communities. Although you may feel that you do not want to go on welfare, it is an option. Get your education while you are young. I have two teenagers and have done it pretty much on my own and I wish I would have gone on welfare while I was younger and received my education rather than working to try to "better" myself. Although I have a mortgage and a full-time job, I wonder how I am going to be able to keep my house, and, thus, have a place for my children to come home to after they've become adults if they should need to once the child support stops, whereas one of my friends who was on welfare went to college and now is much better off financially than I am.

Your parents seem that they have given their dog priority over their grandchild. Any non-idiot realizes that a one-year old does not have the capacity to know what they should and shouldn't do. I would agree with the previous poster ... go somewhere else to do your research and such. If you are unable to do that, will your child stay in a playpen for a while close to you?

 
Old 06-12-2006, 07:03 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 1,148
Frynd1 HB User
Re: Single mom looking for help

I actually went to my local 'job and family service' center and they didnt even inform me of section 8. I found out about it through a friend. As I said I dont know much if anything about it. Just that its low income housing?

As far as my parents go, yes they are 'odd' as one person stated, but this isnt something that surprises me either. Im still young (I was a teenager when I got pregnant) and I guess thats why I hoped they'd still help me. Now I dont mean just financially, I meant emotionally too. For example they wont even babysit my son in order for me to go to an interview or visit a college. As I said that doesnt surprise me though, I was just worried about their dog. I dont just sit there and let DS play with it, but occassionally I will turn around and either the dog will come into the room or my son will run out. Realistically I dont spend 24/7 holding my son and Im not use to taking him with me when I go to the bathroom and whatnot...thats all

 
Old 06-12-2006, 07:26 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rouge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 870
rouge HB User
Re: Single mom looking for help

I do not know much about the welfare system but I figure it is there for people like you. Once you have a child you are pretty much able to get assistance. You should really take all that you can get. It is your child that really needs this. Once you get the assistance go to school. Once you graduate you can get a better job and then get off the welfare. You should get Medicaid, food stamps, WIC and I am sure there is more. I think you can dial 211 on your phone to get info on these programs (if that is still around).

Make sure you go to school to be educated in something useful. I have a degree in Psychology that is useless IMO. Business skills are good or something specialized like radiology or physical therapy. If possible try and get a job where you can bring your son. Some daycares hire moms and you can bring along your son.

Show your parents that you can do it without their help.

 
Old 06-12-2006, 08:35 PM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pickaway Co., Ohio, USA
Posts: 3
Patti515 HB User
Re: Single mom looking for help

Section 8 is a certificate which will assist you in your rent and possibly your utility payments with a landlord who accepts Section 8. It is usually issued by the local housing authorities. Public Housing, if they have it in your area, are rental units owned and maintained by the housing authority. Look in your phone book under your county's government agencies. Also, please look to see if you have a community action agency. Often, the community action agencies will give you more information than the department of human services will. Also, is there a YMCA in your area? Often, they have subsidized childcare programs. Also, although your child is far from being the right age for Head Start, usually the people with the Head Start programs have a wealth of information and will readily give it to you because that's what they do ... they help children. I have been through raising two kids on my own ... I know how difficult it is. But there is help out there. Sometimes you have to go to more than one agency to find it.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Help me work through this in a healthy way Iceman77 Relationship Health 13 04-27-2010 06:57 PM
Being Happily Single plaxmax34 Relationship Health 11 11-03-2008 11:38 PM
30 and Single...NO this is not an ad! Will I Be Happy Relationship Health 4 10-22-2008 07:20 PM
Hopelessly Single Mattm4000 Relationship Health 14 09-16-2007 10:58 PM
Introduction – long term single. xanadu2 Relationship Health 96 07-14-2007 10:43 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:15 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!