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Old 06-19-2006, 06:16 PM   #1
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11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

My daughter has been needing to start wearing a bra for probably at least a year now. I've talked to her about it, I've bought her several different types (which gets very expensive), but she refuses to wear them. She says they're too hot (she's pretty overweight so she's hot most of the time) and too tight. I told her it has to be a little bit tight to do what it's supposed to do. I suggested a sports bra but she says those are hotter because they cover more skin.

I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Dorothy

 
Old 06-20-2006, 08:22 AM   #2
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Re: 11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

I think that most girls are uncomfortable when they start wearing bras. I know I was and I couldn't wait to start wearing them. Then I got them and changed my mind. You say that you have bought some for her. Have you taken her out so that she could pick them. I know nothing is as embarassing as bra shopping with your mom. Does she have an older sister, older friend or cousin that could also go. That way you would still be there, but you wouldn't have to be near the dressing room or bra department when she was looking at them, but she would still have someone to help her and give opinions. Just a thought.

Also, I don't know how overweight she is, but maybe she needs to look at bras in a specialty store. Like Lane Bryant. I'm sure that if she's a bit bigger all of the teenybopper bras aren't the right fit for her.
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Old 06-20-2006, 10:07 AM   #3
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Re: 11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

She did pick them out, and tried them on. We had measured her before we went shopping and so we pretty knew much what size to look for. The bras she has fit. She just says they're too uncomfortable. She doesn't like anything even slightly tight around her body. She pushes her underwear and pants down below her belly because she doesn't want them pressing against her tummy.

Oh well I guess eventually somebody at school or wherever will make a comment to her and maybe that will help her realize she needs to wear it no matter if it's comfortable or not.

Thanks for the thoughts!
Dorothy

 
Old 06-20-2006, 01:55 PM   #4
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Re: 11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

HAH! Yeah been here done this! She will wear a bra as soon as kids start making comments.. or she has to dress out for p.e. and she is the only one flopping around in the locker room If its really an issue of discomfort.. its simply too bad. NONE of us like wearing bras.. the only thing that makes them tolerable as we getr older is we can get fancy ones that make us feel good thus taking away some of the irritation of the bra! If she is larger.. Id get her 2 or 3 expensive bras like ipex at vics secret or similar. you can get them more reasonable at those online auctions I imagine we cant mention on here.

 
Old 06-21-2006, 09:24 PM   #5
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Re: 11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

I never liked wearing bras when I had to start wearing them, and even now, at 18, I can't stand wearing the "normal" kinds, with the clips or the wires because they irritate my skin (I wear sports bras). I remember being about 11 or 12 and pushing my bra up onto my upper chest just so I wouldn't need to feel them pressing against my breasts. Hey I was still wearing them...but no one said I had to wear them properly, right?

I'm also going to venture a guess that, once people start making comments to her about bouncing around, she might decide that she wants to "limit her freedom", so to speak. I say to just give it time. With young girls who choose to abstain from bras, sometimes the only way to prompt them to wear a bra is to let themselves get embarrassed when they don't wear one and people start making remarks behind their backs. Don't worry about it a whole lot - one day, your daughter will come up to you and ask when she can go bra shopping again.

Has she tried those tanktops with the built-in bras? Or don't they have bras now that are just cups (with some kind of adhesive tape)? If all else fails, your daughter can always stretch a piece of duct tape across her chest.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 01:55 PM   #6
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Re: 11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Stranger
I never liked wearing bras when I had to start wearing them, and even now, at 18, I can't stand wearing the "normal" kinds, with the clips or the wires because they irritate my skin (I wear sports bras). I remember being about 11 or 12 and pushing my bra up onto my upper chest just so I wouldn't need to feel them pressing against my breasts. Hey I was still wearing them...but no one said I had to wear them properly, right?

I'm also going to venture a guess that, once people start making comments to her about bouncing around, she might decide that she wants to "limit her freedom", so to speak. I say to just give it time. With young girls who choose to abstain from bras, sometimes the only way to prompt them to wear a bra is to let themselves get embarrassed when they don't wear one and people start making remarks behind their backs. Don't worry about it a whole lot - one day, your daughter will come up to you and ask when she can go bra shopping again.

Has she tried those tanktops with the built-in bras? Or don't they have bras now that are just cups (with some kind of adhesive tape)? If all else fails, your daughter can always stretch a piece of duct tape across her chest.

This got me chuckling so much!! I thought my daughter was the ONLY one that'd think to push them high like that! It used to irritate me so much because you could see it through her shirt! HAHAHA! Im so glad you shared that!

Now the 7 yr old HAD to have a bra.. then again she is overly girly. They're ALL different!

 
Old 06-23-2006, 02:28 PM   #7
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Re: 11-yr old daughter won't wear bra

Maybe it's simply a sensory issue of some sort. I have Asperger's, so I know all about that. I'm VERY picky about my clothes, so when I found a training/sports bra that I liked at age 10, I wore them until about my junior year. (Luckily, I don't have that big of a chest.) Those got ratty, so my mom found me some that were the same style, and I've been wearing those for the last four years or so. I think it's more that she doesn't feel comfortable with the sensation of the bra, not that she doesn't want to wear it. My mom used to say that I wanted to wear clothes so that it would feel like I wasn't wearing any. I used to run around without any clothes when I was really little. Even now, I need clothes that aren't constricting in ANY way. So the bras that I have do the trick. I can't feel them, and I even sleep in them most of the time. Maybe your daughter just needs special material or something.
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