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Old 06-21-2006, 02:12 PM   #1
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Family friends act as if they don't like my son

How would you handle friends that don't like your child???
I've been friends with this couple for about a year, just lately i've notice a difference in the way they treat my youngest son..They have a daughter the same age and at times they don't get along..I don't get involved in small petty fights between the children but the other mother does..I think before they just tolerated my son..Now they seem to pick at everything he does..We went somewhere and the mother had chips she was nice enough to share with everyone else but my son, she never offered..My son is a outgoing, very active child, sometimes if things don't go his way yeah he does get upset but that doesn't make him a bad kid..Every now and then they fight like sister and brothers do but in ten minutes later they are friends again..
The mother has a habit of talking badly about other children that her daughter plays with, i could imagine what she says about my son to other people..I just am starting to feel if my son isn't welcome neither am i..My husband is really good friends with the father but he's not really around to see what's going on and thinks that it's me over reacting..

 
Old 06-21-2006, 02:36 PM   #2
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

I would just avoid visiting them. There are people who dislikes other people kids and overprotective of there own. I wouldn't try to change them. My dd seems avoid boys and better of with girls of her age, may be you ds will be better of with boys.

 
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Old 06-21-2006, 03:41 PM   #3
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

I can't avoid these people due to my dh races with this family every weekend..My ds plays well with other girls and he usually does with this one as well..My concern is the way the parents are treating my child..These are adults acting like children..

 
Old 06-21-2006, 05:15 PM   #4
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

I think I would try and sit down and have a talk with this woman.If she is supossed to be your friend she should try and understand your feelings.I have a friend who overstepped her bounds with my kids before.Her husband also had I think they both just got way to comfortable around us.They would speak up to tell my kids what to do and what not to do before I even had the chance to say a word.Now I do think at times a family friend stepping in can be helpful but this was going to far and it was really bothering me bad.So anyway I had a talk with my friend about it all at first she acted a bit upset and offended but it all worked out after she had time to think about what I had said.I am just the type of person I dont like to get involved in disciplining other people children unless I see a real danger or of course if I am babysitting that child.
You are right though im sure your son is good kid.Kids will be kids they will not always get along well that doesnt mean they are bad little people they are just learning.I would of been upset to if a friend of mine gave other kids a treat and skipped over my child thats just not right and pretty immature IMO.
anyway im rambling but yeah id just try and have a talk with this woman without seeming like im trying to argue since you do say you have to be around them.

 
Old 06-21-2006, 07:41 PM   #5
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

The mother is very much like a child when talking to her..At one time when we went for dinner, a lady in the restroom thought that she budded in front of her child so this lady said something to her and her reply was blah blah blah with her hand moving like her mouth..I was in shock never ever did i ever see a grown adult do such a thing, maybe my seven year old...
She is quick to point out things about my child but not hers..I feel that if i talk to her she may not take it well but if i don't in time i'm going to blow up because of storing my feelings towards this situation..I could only imagine how my son feels when he is treated like an outsider..

 
Old 06-22-2006, 06:30 AM   #6
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

Oh wow this woman really is very immature.Thats a shame her child will pick up on that too.How disrepectful what she did that day with her hand and the blah blah sheesh.Ya know though I guess its not too shocking.One of these days she will react that way to the wrong person then maybe she will learn to grow up.I feel for you and yeah I am sure your son doesnt feel to comfortable around her either.Thinking about her treating other kids and skipping over him breaks my heart shes just mean!
I agree with you though I dont see any other way to try and resolve this except for speaking to her about it........although the way she sounds I dont know if youd get through some people are impossible and until they change their ways they well ya know.
My friend I spoke of up in the other post her husband is young and doesnt have kids of his own he has her kids (his two step kids).Anyway,he seems to have a extreme hard time NOT getting on everyone kids around him.He doesnt particulary care for my oldest son.He has been mean to him before over nothing yes its immaturity is all it boils down to.My husband didnt know the extent of it and said the same as yours he figured I was overreacting....until he heard for himself.
ohwell unless you want to do something else while your husband races then I guess all you can do is try speaking to this woman.By the way what type of racing are you talking about? My husband used to race every weekend 1/4 mile track.I miss all that

 
Old 06-22-2006, 08:22 AM   #7
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

My dh and ds races motocross..Thanks for your reply..I feel better after talking to someone and getting this all off my chest..I'm going to have to talk to her , i'm not sure how i'm going to bring this up ..I was so trying to keep peace since my dh and ds races on the same team but i can't bite my tongue no longer..Thanks again

 
Old 06-22-2006, 09:37 AM   #8
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

There are too many nice people in this world that will like your son and enjoy spending time around him. Don't waste your time spending much time with this lady and her daughter.

 
Old 06-24-2006, 08:37 PM   #9
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

I would avoid this woman. If you're husband is good friends with her husband, then encourage their relationship - suggest they do stuff together. But when something comes up (like a bbq or get-together) I think it's ok to say "I'm not feeling well, honey, you go on ahead. Even make him something to bring with him. And keep your child away from her. Your privilege as a mother is to defend your child as needed. Your child may be too young to voice it, but I'm sure your child knows he's not being received well. I would not go to her with the problem - it sounds like she's just waiting for a fight. She sounds uptight. We all know these types of people. And you can't change them. Even if you were best friends, it's a touchy area.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 03:38 PM   #10
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

This is exactly what i'm talking about, i think she maybe looking for some kind of response from me or maybe she thinks that she can very well do whatever she wants because people have never said anything to her..Unfortunely i have to spend every weekend with her, only because my husbands races with her husband and if he was to get hurt i would like to be there for him...I think lately my husband is really seeing that i don't care to go any more, i'm not into it like i use to be..The race that just passed there was something said to my son that was doing the same thing as their children but nothing was said to them..So my son and i went to another part of the track to watch the races just so i wouldn't have to deal with them..My husband has mentioned to me that he would quit racing but it's not fair to him either but at the same time it's not fair for my son to be treated the way they have been treating him.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 05:44 PM   #11
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

Yea just avoid her wherever you see her. If shes that immature I think saying something to her would make things even worse. Also if you say something to her it might make your husbands relationship suffer. Things are already bad so I would just avoid her.

Last edited by jtm; 06-27-2006 at 05:45 PM.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 06:32 PM   #12
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

Your post title suggests that there are family members that don't treat your son well...Is it just this one juvenile woman that you meant?

 
Old 06-27-2006, 06:53 PM   #13
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

These people are suppose to be good friends of my family, that's what i mean about family friends..At one time close enough to be sisters but not blood related..Most of the time she's okay if it's just me but if our kids are together that's where the problem starts..It's both her and her husband but most of the time it's her..It use to be just her now her husband has been picking little things that my son does but not his own..

Last edited by Moderator BAC; 06-28-2006 at 09:24 AM. Reason: Removed Signature Posting Violation.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 07:15 PM   #14
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Re: Family friends act as if they don't like my son

It really is unfortunate....I think try talking to her, but from what you have described, she seems as though she would be the type of woman that will be kind to your face and otherwise when you arent looking.. THey are toxic people to have in your life...
As you can see it is an issue for you and hubby, and he is offering to give up something he loves....I know BELIEVE me how hard it is to break away from these kind of people whether they be family olr friends.. but it is SOOOOO worth it.
Try to find other women in the sport that you can identify with.. I know its hard to break from your zone... but you will all be better for it.

 
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