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Old 06-22-2006, 09:13 PM   #1
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5 yr old in diapers?

hello my son joey has lately asked to wear diapers again. He says that he has had to many accidents and wants to wear diapers. He has been checked out at the doctors and has full bladder control. Hes just had some accidents and now he wants to wear diapers. Is this attention that he wants or what? I feel bad having to change a 5 year olds diaper.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 10:25 AM   #2
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Re: 5 yr old in diapers?

I assume that your son has been previously potty-trained, and if there are no underlying health concerns, I would definitely venture to say he's doing this for attention. I wouls strongly advise against putting him back in diapers, but if you must do this, use the thinnest/cheapest diapers you can find. As you probably already know, the more comfortable a child is made to feel in his or her own filth, the less and less they'll want to stop using diapers. This is why, if your son's habits are new, I recommend not using diapers (or at least ones that get uncomfortable when they are soiled). My advice would be to just let your son have these accidents and make sure he has clean clothes to put on afterwards - most children do not like having to wear soiled or wet clothing, and if he has to wallow in his own fluids for a bit, he might decide he wants to find a new way to get your attention. It may be a pain in the behind cleaning this up, but if you put your son back in diapers, he may not want to go back to using the toilet, and you'll be stuck potty-training him all over again.

Is your son currently in kindergarten? If so, how will that work out with diapers, considering children need to be potty-trained by the time they get into school? This is another big reason why I would advise against giving in to the diaper wishes.

 
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Old 06-23-2006, 10:47 AM   #3
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Re: 5 yr old in diapers?

I am struggling with 3.5 y potty training. We were told that if we put her in training pants (no-paper) she will try to hold on pee and poo so it will cause constipation but she is very comfi in pull-ups and often fine to be wet and poo. In my experience all pull-ups are the same, only difference they may or may not be opened from the sides and different pictures, I always try to buy cheaper brands.

 
Old 06-24-2006, 07:26 PM   #4
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Re: 5 yr old in diapers?

I just recently "potty-trained" my 4.5 yr old son. He is my third child so I had opinions about this topic when "training" began. First of all, when my first two children were "of age" (2.5-3yr) I chose to take a cheerful and relaxed attitude; I told them both "Here are your new underwear (which we bought together and they got to choose) and when you're ready, you know where they are". I knew that there were a few things that needed to happen before they were "ready" and I couldn't expect more out of them than they were able to deliver: 1) They needed to know that they needed to go; 2) They needed to have some control over themselves (being able to hold it long enough to get to the potty); 3) They needed to be able to put on their own underwear and take down their own pants easily enough without help and to be able to use the potty (is there a step-stool, etc?). 4) They needed to "want to" go in the potty. For a short while, my daughter would want to "go" in her diaper in the closet. She'd even ask "Mommy, could I go potty in the closet?" and I would say "Sure, honey". I knew she was just getting to know herself - learning that her body did something like going potty amazed her - and she wanted privacy. One day, her frustrated father, yelled at her "No! Go in the potty - that's what it's for!" Of course, she cried and it delayed any progress already made. After I spoke with him to be kind, he didn't do it again and Sadie (daughter) regained her confidence. Same thing happened with my second child (Blake), but it wasn't until he was 3 yrs old. And he needed help wiping #2 until he was about 5, which I was happy to do because at least he was learning and there was less mess.

With Jack (our 4.5 yr old) it went a bit differently - He had the first 3 steps down but he didn't "want" to be potty trained. Some said it was because he liked the attention (he liked being a baby, being taken care of, etc). So I thought "Ok, he "needs" more attention than the first two - I am his parent - why would I deny him something he needs?". I didn't "baby" him, I just changed his diaper and would very kindly (and very occasionally) talked about "When you wear big-boy underwear, you'll be able to ____ (fill in the blank with any reward - including Disneyland)" He still didn't care - not even about Disneyland!! But one day, I was painting rooms in a house while Jack and Blake watched dvd's and we were stuck with no diapers. I told him "Jack, honey, I'm sorry but Mommy doesn't have any diapers, I need you to just go in the potty today - I have M&Ms and I'll give you one each time you go, ok?" And that's how it began. A couple weeks later (and I made sure to not buy any more diapers because he had now proved to me he could do it - with gentle remiders), he was potty-trained. I had watched him closely, and every time his hand went to his pants to "hold" himself I just pointed it out saying "Jack, see how you're holding your penis? That means you have to "go" - get up and go potty now (And if he was watching a movie, I paused it so he didn't feel like he was going to miss anything, and the same went with any activity he was involved with - just pause it). And I never missed a reward. Obviously the reward has to be something he doesn't get all the time anyway or else it loses its' value.

My first thought is to protect the child's self-esteem. I did not want the slightest belittlement (sp?) to take place - my thought was that this would hinder the whole process and create issues down the road. So when our regular babysitter (my mother-in-law) told my son "I won't change your diapers anymore - it's yucky - you take care of it yourself" I was upset. This left Jack feeling that his "caretaker" wasn't willing to take care of him - that it was conditional. Fortunately, Grandpa said he would do it, believing that it wouldn't last forever (and it didn't) Guess who Jack has a better relationship with? Grandpa, of course.

 
Old 06-24-2006, 07:42 PM   #5
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Re: 5 yr old in diapers?

A few more things. As far as accidents go, do what you can to help with the uncomfortableness (on both of your parts) - buy mattress protectors (this will lessen your frustration and save you time and money). Buy many pairs of underwear and be ready to do extra laundry. Be ready to be woken up in the middle of the night with "Mommy, I had an ascident". Never get upset with him - it just makes them feel confused and frustrated. Also, until he is 99% (accidents may happen when he's much older) done with the training, try not to plan any big day trips or travel - he needs immediate access to his potty. And never ask him to "hold it" because you're shopping or are busy. If he says "Mommy, I need to go" say to him "Ok - let's find a potty right now" and do it. And never make him feel he did something wrong (if it was truly an accident). If he does an "accident" on purpose (to get attention), don't reward him with negative or positive attention - he needs to know that you love him despite his actions - just clean it up, clean him up, give him a hug and say something like "Don't worry, Mommy's not mad - You'll figure it out", etc.

Jack asked for diapers, again, too. I just said "We don't do diapers anymore, sweetie". And then I would cuddle with him and play with him. Jack likes pretending he's a baby, so I just figured his requests for diapers had something to do with him needing more cuddle time with me. I also bought him a baby doll (which he loves) so he could role-play with and he can change that baby's diaper.

By the way, we went to Disneyland - and now he "gets it". He has more opportunities now that he's potty-trained (hard concept to grasp when you're so young). This whole process was pretty much the same with his pacifier, too.

 
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