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Old 06-28-2006, 12:44 AM   #1
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sumi HB User
How do you descipline a 9 month old?

I am at a loss. I have a darling daughter who is nine and a half months old and I was wondering how to descipline her at such a young age. I work during the day and she stays with my mother but she is very bad tempered and is learning bad behaviors that I want to stop. she is usually a great baby but lately has started to hit me. For example this morning she threw her cereal at me and I smacked her hand and instead of crying or something she hit me right back. I just don't know how to be a good mother. I want to have a well mannered little girl and feel like I am useless. When I yell at her which is very seldom cause I don't like to raise my voice she just screams and cries until she gets her own way. What do I do?? How can I teach her the right way at such a young age? Are there any books you can reccommend? My sister told me that I am raising a little brat and that really hurt my feelings. I know I do things wrong sometimes but I am a first time mother and I make mistakes like anyone else, right? When I asked my sister what she meant she said that I need to teach her not to hit or to sleep at 9:00 and not wake up at 11:00 or stay awake till late. But how do I teach a nine month old that she can't wake up or that she HAS to sleep at 9:00. I work all day so I want to spend time with her and I know she feels the same way cause I only went back to work one month ago.
Oh, my please help me! All suggestions welcome.

 
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Old 06-28-2006, 06:17 AM   #2
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jeffreys mom HB User
Re: How do you descipline a 9 month old?

Hi; Is your sister a mother???? Babies do things like this and it's all okay.

When she hits, you take her hands and bring them down and tell her there's no hitting. Don't hit her or yell at her just show her and tell her no hitting.

When she throws the cereal at you , you very neutrally tell her now cereal is all done. Same goes for juice cups, toys or whatever else a baby throws.

As far as sleeping through the night, this can be difficult but will happen with some effort on your part.

1. When the baby wakes, allow her to cry. Don't give a bottle or juice or put the light on. Let the baby cry for about 5 minutes. If she does not settle down and seems to be very upset, go in the room lay her down rub her back and tell her it's alright. Let her settle down, then leave the room

2. The next night stretch it to 10 min. repeat only don't speak and leave the room. If you need to go back in, wait 15 minutes however do not say a word to the baby. Just reinforce that she's okay with a rub on her back.
Stretch to 20 minutes the next night and so on until the mission is accomplished.

It takes about a week and begins to work because the child learns they are not getting reinforced by getting picked up, talked to, given a bottle, basically they are not getting attention so they will give in and learn that it's time for sleep.

By all means your daughter is not a brat, she's 9 months and developing her she just needs direction, love and alot of patience. Good Luck

 
Old 06-29-2006, 03:37 PM   #3
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bearbait HB User
Re: How do you descipline a 9 month old?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffreys mom
Hi; Is your sister a mother???? Babies do things like this and it's all okay.

When she hits, you take her hands and bring them down and tell her there's no hitting. Don't hit her or yell at her just show her and tell her no hitting.

When she throws the cereal at you , you very neutrally tell her now cereal is all done. Same goes for juice cups, toys or whatever else a baby throws.

As far as sleeping through the night, this can be difficult but will happen with some effort on your part.

1. When the baby wakes, allow her to cry. Don't give a bottle or juice or put the light on. Let the baby cry for about 5 minutes. If she does not settle down and seems to be very upset, go in the room lay her down rub her back and tell her it's alright. Let her settle down, then leave the room

2. The next night stretch it to 10 min. repeat only don't speak and leave the room. If you need to go back in, wait 15 minutes however do not say a word to the baby. Just reinforce that she's okay with a rub on her back.
Stretch to 20 minutes the next night and so on until the mission is accomplished.

It takes about a week and begins to work because the child learns they are not getting reinforced by getting picked up, talked to, given a bottle, basically they are not getting attention so they will give in and learn that it's time for sleep.

By all means your daughter is not a brat, she's 9 months and developing her she just needs direction, love and alot of patience. Good Luck


Ditto, excellent advice.

 
Old 07-14-2006, 11:48 AM   #4
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jenn.e HB User
Re: How do you descipline a 9 month old?

Another thing that we mothers of young babies need to understand is that when infant babies hit or throw they dont know it is hurting you. Every baby does this. Its wired into them.
I agree with the other replies and all I can really add to it is, just love her. Hold her, kiss her, play with her.
__________________
married 6/26/04
DD born 5/25/05

 
Old 07-14-2006, 01:18 PM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 244
fifistoosh HB User
Re: How do you descipline a 9 month old?

try to look into some child development - penny Tassoni is a good author on the subject. All children move through different stages at different times in their lives (dropping the spoon over the side of the high chair for example). Many people think their child is behaving badly, but actually they are just in the process of learning and it is completely normal.

Being calm, kind and consistant is the best way to deal with babies and toddlers. If you do end up constantly raising your voice your child will end up thinking yelling is normal. So then how do you let them know you are cross?

Type 'triple p' into a search engine. This is a programme designed to help parents bring up children. It has very positive outcomes and great ideas. It has been a great success in the UK. So has the 'mellow parenting ' course, you could search for that too.

Good luck, try to talk to other parents at a toddler group or church, they might let you know some good tactics and have good advice. Don't listen to anyone who doesnt have children. We all know how we would have behaved with children, before we had our own (no pacifiers, sleep routines, breast fed etc.) In the dream world!!!!!

 
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