Re: toilet training frustration.
Well, here's what worked for us (a long time ago, now!).
Training pants - to me - are a terrible invention. Kids get to feel "grown up" wearing them without having to take any of the responsibility for pottying like a "grown up". I think "Pull Ups" are a huge hinderance to toilet training and I expect other types of training pants are as well.
Here's what I did when I realized that training pants weren't working. I put mine back in diapers, put away the potty chair, and I used some "reverse" psychology. Rather than saying "you're a big boy and you can potty like a big boy", I said, "soon you'll be a big boy and be able to use the potty but you aren't big enough for it yet". Naturally, he'd respond "yes, I'm big enough" and I'd say "soon". We'd go look at "big boy pants" in the store and I'd ask which ones he wanted when he was big enough for them. He'd say "I'm big enough now" and I'd say "not yet".
When he wanted those "big boy pants" so bad that he could taste it, we got to work. I used the strategy in an old book called "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day". You can probably order it online.
Basically, you give the kids all her favorite drinks and encourage her to drink alot of it. Then, you practice going potty - like every 20 minutes. When they are successful, they get a treat like candy and lavish praise ("I am so proud of you. Daddy is proud of you. Grandma and Grandpa are proud of you. Their favorite make-believe character is proud of them, etc, etc). Then they get to try again in 20 minutes. If they don't go, that's fine, they can "try again" soon. If they have accidents, you do practice runs.
It's exhausting, but it worked extremely well for both of mine!