Re: At my wits end......
I can relate to you. My son is 12, then three girls 10, 6 and 17 months.
My son was so great until lately. Thankfully, I realize it is a phase that will pass during/after high school. I've done a lot of research.
What works for us -
1. He gets an allowance (he is also allowed to wash neighbor cars for extra $$) at the beginning of the week. He is not allowed to have his allowance though until the last day of the week (Friday for us). At that time he gets what he has "earned". I do not nag him during the week (though it does take major willpower at times). If he has not kept up with his chores or has been horrible to his sisters, he has money taken away from his allowance. Some weeks, he has ended up with none. I give him a written note of what he had money taken away for. We can discuss the note if he'd like, or not.
If he has major issues, hitting, severe name calling, lack of respect, lying, we take away a privilege for 2 weeks. It is always something he loves, dirt bike, television time, computer time. Perhaps for your son, it could be his phone. Personally, I do not believe any child should have a cell phone, but that's another topic.
The biggest advice I received that also works is to NOT yell, no matter how angry you are. If you are too mad to talk to him without yelling, tell him to go in his room and you'll speak to him when you're under control. Same rule goes for him, he cannot yell at you, you can all talk calmly until you're blue in the face, but no yelling/screaming.
Also, his younger sisters can often be the little stinkers in the situation. Doing things to purposely get their brother in trouble. Perhaps that could be going on in your house? Of course he is jealous of his younger brother, he doesn't understand all these wacky changes puberty is putting him through, all he sees is that his little brother isn't having to deal with it.
When I know that the younger girls are just as culpable as he is, we do this -
1. They must sit and hold hands and look at each other and say 5 things they like about the other person.
They will rant and rave how unfair it is and they don't want to do it, but stick with it.
Good luck, this pre-teen/teenager stuff is horrid. I always take a deep breath and think back to what I was like at that age.
Last edited by Altson; 08-09-2006 at 10:17 AM.