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Old 08-09-2006, 08:42 PM   #1
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terrible twos or what is wrong

my son is two and half and he has been acting like this for some time now. he throws these tantrums that are so hard to deal with, i am wondering if this is normal or if something is wrong. i keep trying and trying and i believe i am a good parent. i dont ignore, i give him the time that he needs for himself, we play alot, also i am a stay at home mom. and another thing i dont spoil him, i give him the things that he needs and sometimes i may splurge on things that make my life a little bit easier.
alot of his problems to be come from frustration he does things like screaming so loud that he is screeching, he throw himself to floor bend his body backwards, stiffens his legs and his whole body when i try to pick him and calm down.
then when he doesnt get his way he doesnt him me or try to hit me , bite or do anything to me, but he throws stuff, spits ( not actually spitting at me or anything but does that drooling bubbly thing lol) its nasty. then usual screams, throw himself on to the floor.
im just confused im 26 this is my first kid and i am expected my second on dec 31 this year. im just so upset and mad that i cant fix it or he wont tell me what is wrong because he had a delay in speaking and is just now saying things after you do.
if anyone has any advice or comment please share thanks

 
Old 08-10-2006, 09:56 AM   #2
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

Sounds like a normal 2 1/2 year old to me. This past winter we went to a wedding in Mexico and I had to get up and leave in the middle of it 'cuz DS wacked the person in front of us with a program, yelled, BIT me several times... The key is to not get angry with them, not to yell --- they're learning how to express themselves at this age and get very frustrated. -- Easier said than done. I usually take DS out of the public eye and have him spend some quiet time. Doesn't help to reason or explain. Sometimes distraction works, too.

Last night I got yelled at because I wouldn't let DS start a movie half an hour before bedtime. "Mommy, I'm yelling 'cuz you angry at me". I explained calmly that I wasn't angry, but we weren't going to start a movie. The night before it was a tantrum because they didn't have any RED car carts at the grocery store, only blue "I --- WANT --- A ---- RED --- CAR!!! As he was biting the side of the blue one. ewww! Don't even want to THINK about the germs living in that thing.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm a horrible mother because I have lost my temper and yelled right back. Toddlers! Gotta love em.

 
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Old 08-10-2006, 12:19 PM   #3
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

thanks for sharing, i just didnt know what to do i feel sometimes i am horrible to because i have lost my temper and yelled back at him. so that makes me feel better that i can relate cuz even if he doesnt talk that much yet he does the same thing he wants a blue straw instead of a yellow or whatever color it may be. he still screams and throw a fit. then sometime they are angels then he next minute it seems like a tornando hit my house becuase he was mad. i just get so scared because im scared maybe someone else out there when they see him doing this in public thinks that i am hurting him or hurt him in some way.
like yesterday we were going to actually take a chance and do some errands, well first stop drop my dog off to the groomers going great right until about 10 minutes of waiting cuz everyone seemed to want to get there dogs groomed that day it seemed so i had a long line of older people back behind me with there dogs and my dog getting all nervous and my son dropping him self to the floor, i felt so horrible . they people in the back were telling there does it ok trying to calm them down i felt like i was going crazy so finally got in and though ok let go shoe shopping wrongggggggggggggggg. ii put one on he dont like ok so i try to take it of noooooooo wasnt having lets just say it wasnt a good thing so i go to the check out with two different shoes on and the lady at the desk kept saying oh whats wrong with the boy is mommy being mean , better believe if i could have just walked out that store i would have so she take him he act like a perfect angel and she put the other shoe on that matches , she wipes his nose since he has been screaming and walk over to me and act like a lilttle angel i thought ok , looked at walmart thinking i need to get groceries, before i even could make that choice he started again i said to heck with it.
that was my day yesterday how is ur going today lol

 
Old 08-10-2006, 12:32 PM   #4
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

Hi, did the doctors tell you what caused his speech delay? Have they mentioned autism? That is the very first thing that entered my mind when I read your posts. My 5 year old is autistic and he was a lot like that at your son's age, but a little worse. He was my first too and I had no clue what autism was. It sounds like you already have a gut feeling that something is wrong, go with that. Ask your son's pediatrician specifically about autism. Find out if there is an early intervention program in your state. Here in Virginia they have a birth to 3 program where they will actually come to your house and evaluate your child for free. (Not just for autism, but all developmental delays) Check out the autism board and the infant care board. There is one thread called "autism" on the infant care board where I listed a lot of info that could help you. Please check it out. I assure you I am not trying to scare you, I know this is absolutely NOT what you want to hear, but I really am concerned afetr reading your posts. Hang in there hun, I know it's hard. Please feel free to ask me anything. Good luck to you.

Brandy

 
Old 08-10-2006, 03:45 PM   #5
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

Hi; I'm a mother of a boy who has Pdd/NOS which is a form of Autism. I agree with Ausomemom where as some of what you describe is familiar. It's not the end of the world, but it is something you should look into immediately as time is critical if he is on the spectrum. Early Intervention will help with any delays and also do an evaluation however, you should see a Developmental Pediatrician to further investigate if there may be a sensory processing or Neurological concern. I wouldn't worry, but I would take it seriously if your gut is questioning that something isn't right. Good Luck

Last edited by jeffreys mom; 08-10-2006 at 03:47 PM.

 
Old 08-12-2006, 05:22 PM   #6
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

i guys he has been checked for that his doctor just said he was just delaying in his speech like most 2 year old some talk sooner that others, thats why i cant figure it out, im just worried about his behavior not so much is speaking he is with a speech therapist now..... he is doing alot better
thanks for your advice do u think maybe there is something wrong with him like autism and maybe i need to find another doctor

 
Old 08-13-2006, 06:57 PM   #7
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

Hi
I would definately seek a second opinion. Ask your son's doctor to send you to a Developmental Pediatrician for an evaluation. It certainly can't hurt. I really do think you should do this, there were many things you posted that made me think of an autism spectrum disorder. Please keep us up to date on him. I hope everything goes well. Autism isn't the end of the world, just a different way of life. One that I couldn't imagine living without now. Take care and please get a second opinion.

Brandy

 
Old 08-14-2006, 06:58 AM   #8
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Re: terrible twos or what is wrong

My 3 year old had a hard time communicating when he was 2.5. He did not have the words yet. He would thow the same tantrums your son did. It is very frustrating. I would ignore the tantrum and when he was ready to try again I would work with him to find out what he wanted or I gave him the words he needed to use the next time it happened. For example I would put the lid on his sippy cup forgetting that he wanted to do it. He instantly threw himself on the floor screaming and freaking out. I stood there and waited. When he calmed down I asked him if he wanted to put the lid on. He said yes. So then I let him do it and told him that next time he should say "I want to put the lid on mom". Eventully he started using the words that I gave him, and now at 3 he is much much better and is using lots and lots of words. Good luck it's a rough age for some.

 
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