It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-14-2006, 04:22 PM   #1
Registered User
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Moncton
Posts: 18
honey_05 HB User
guilty for leaving or not?

HI
I am a stay at home mother to a 17 month old daughter. I love being home with her and spending time with her. Me and my husband are very active with her we do everything with her and bring her everywhere. The las time that we had a evening to ourselves was 7 months ago. The reason for that is I was talking to a friend yesterday and told her we are going away this Saturday for the night. I told her we are leaving my daughter with my mother at the cottage. Her response was that I am not being very nice and I should take her with us because she just cant imagine why parents would do that and she would never leave her children behind.
Should I be feeling guilty for leaving my child for 24 hrs?

 
Old 08-14-2006, 05:45 PM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: santa cruz
Posts: 200
sdjansen HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

No you should definatly not feel guilty about leaving you child for a day. I also dont think you should listen to anyone elses critisisms about your parenting. If you and you DH are ready to go off alone, more power to you, a relationship doesnt stay healthy alone it needs to be worked on and parents need time as adults. When my DS was 12 months old we went out of town for the entire weekend and left him with his grandma and everything was fine, he may have even been in better hands because she hovers around him and watches him like a hawk. It was also very nice for us to just lounge for a weekend and not change any poopy diapers or kiss scraped knees. I think if you and your husband are ready you should go have a good time and remember you are someone other then a mother and a father. And hey grandmas raised us and we turned out OK right?!?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-14-2006, 05:50 PM   #3
Registered User
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Moncton
Posts: 18
honey_05 HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

Hi
Thanks. I am happy I am not the only one that feels that way. I love my DH but I also cant wait to have time with my husband. And I agree, she will be in good hands with grandma, she was a nurse in the nursery for 20 years.
Thanks

 
Old 08-14-2006, 06:22 PM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: louisiana
Posts: 428
lovemybabyboys HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

i agree, she will be fine. it is good for parents to get away.
we have a 4 year old and a 13 month old. i can count on my fingers how many times my 4 year old has spent the night away from home, and that is just at my moms house, which is less than a mile from our house. i didn't leave him overnight until he was like 2.5, but now with number 2 i realize they will be fine, and enjoy being away as much as we do. i have only left 13 month old once over night and worried the whole time. but when i got home, he didn't even want to come to me. it made me sad, but at least i knew he was having a great time. in september, dh and i are going to a wedding in another state and will be leaving them for 2 nights. i am looking so foward to it. it will be the longest the two of us have spent alone since becomming mommy and daddy. go enjoy yourself and don't worry what others may think, as long as you and you daughter a comfortable, then that is all that matters.
have fun.

 
Old 08-14-2006, 06:57 PM   #5
Registered User
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Moncton
Posts: 18
honey_05 HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

Thanks
I have the same feeling I worry when I am not with her which I have only done 4 times but deap down I know she's ok. I have to stop stressing myself out about what other people say I should and should not do and she should be doing this and that by a certain month/age, that my house/laundry/dishes should always be done and just enjoy and have fun with her.

ps have fun on your weekend away in September.

 
Old 08-15-2006, 09:30 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,402
Kiera1595 HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

OMG...GO and ENJOY yourselves and have some fun for the rest of us who can't get away right now. I kinda feel bad for your friend who feels like she can't leave a child behind. We all need to get away from our kids and remember why we fell in love and had a baby in the first place. We all feel a bit badly for leaving (and the longer the time away, the more guilt) But it's very important for our sanity.

Have a great time (take me with you )
__________________
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh

 
Old 08-15-2006, 10:09 AM   #7
Registered User
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Moncton
Posts: 18
honey_05 HB User
Talking Re: guilty for leaving or not?

Thanks, I just talked to her again and she asked if I was still going and I said yes and I just cant wait. She replied by saying she cant believe I was still going and (I dont understand this but she said) she was going to call my baby when we go and tell her that her parents are gone without her and left her behind.
I kindly told her that I am going to enjoy my husband and she was not going to make me feel bad. (And who knows last time we went away there we had baby #1, baby #2 might be on the way soon!)
Thank you everyone for the replis's I am that I am not the only one who enjoys a little time off once in a while.
I really do wish I could take you.

 
Old 08-15-2006, 01:43 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Burnet, Texas USA
Posts: 4,313
Misty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

If you have been leaving your daughter with her grandparents off and on for short periods of time, I see nothing wrong with leaving her this time. However, if she is not use to being away from you, she will be an unhappy little girl while you are gone. Separation anxiety is rough on little ones.

Last edited by Misty800; 08-15-2006 at 01:44 PM.

 
Old 08-15-2006, 02:20 PM   #9
Registered User
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Moncton
Posts: 18
honey_05 HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

I know that this is usually the time for seperation anxiety/scared of strangers but she does not have that at all. She will go talk to everyone/ she can be held with anybady. We went to the doctor last month and he was very suprised that she went right to him in his arms. When I do leave her with grandma she never cryied. She is a very outgoing toodler. It kind of makes me sad that she goes to everyone and doesnt seem to miss me but I am happy that she doesnt have to feel any anxiety.

 
Old 08-18-2006, 11:08 AM   #10
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Near Wild Heaven
Posts: 461
dewdrop333 HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

Time alone for mommy and daddy is VERY importiant .. it makes your marrage better and makes you better parents I think.

You arent leaving her to fend for herself .. what a lovely thing for grandma to get to spoil her for an overnight visit ..

You are doing nothing wrong .. go ... have a lovely visit ... the baby will be just fine with a woman that did a great job with you.
__________________
Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of children - The Crow

 
Old 08-18-2006, 11:15 AM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 43
InsaneMom HB User
Re: guilty for leaving or not?

Does this friend of yours have any children? Because I know that on the occassion that my DH and I have the chance to spend a night alone because the kids are with grandparents or somewhere else that we enjoy the adult company. I know all my friends that have kids cherish any alone time they get with thier spouses and don't think it is a bad thing to leave thier kids a lone with someone they know and trust with take good care of them. As long as you are not leaving your child somewhere that causes her anxiety I would totally ignore your "friend" and enjoy the alone time with your husband.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why do I feel guilty? sunshine0806 Relationship Health 8 09-08-2007 01:37 AM
What have i done? feel so guilty shadeshine Relationship Health 10 04-26-2007 05:28 PM
Feeling Guilty about going back to work Des11 Parenting Issues 4 10-28-2006 10:22 PM
Feeling guilty: do you think his ex will try to cause trouble? Nina000 Relationship Health 70 02-01-2006 01:08 PM
Feeling guilty . . . loopyturtle Bipolar Disorder 3 01-17-2006 04:54 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (8), writeleft (6), rudiraven (4), marisuela (4), Foxxii (3), jilas0127 (3), Curious One (3), noevr (3), katlin09 (3), Belly Kelly (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (903), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:16 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!