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Old 08-25-2006, 10:14 AM   #1
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ronniesteers HB User
Overbearing Grandparents

I find that as a mother, who has one daughter (the only granddaughter in a family of four children) that my parents obsess over her. I get resentful and start to hate them when they judge my parenting skills ("your not watching her) (You don't give her enough attention), etc. The first he yelled at me and the second he said behind my back) All of this from an over critical father (of mine, unfortunately). I try to be the best parent I can given that I work full time, do the household stuff, (my fiance helps out a little bit). This week he is down here visiting and I don't even really want to see him because he treats everyone else like *hit when my daughter is around. Anyone else have this problem?

Last edited by ronniesteers; 08-25-2006 at 10:15 AM.

 
Old 08-25-2006, 10:24 AM   #2
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Re: Overbearing Grandparents

My daughter is the first grandchild in the family and I needed my parents help since I work full time and so on.
I had to put up that my father meet me when I come home from work with a list of things which he doesn't like. If baby doesn't want to eat it means that my cooking is lousy. He doesn't like daycare we choose, he often doesn't like the way baby dress or me or my dh clothes, my house is not clean enough and you name it. Still i have to put up with it and appreciate his help.
I think what you are going through is normal.
My friend going through similiar things with her parents.

 
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Old 08-25-2006, 11:56 AM   #3
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Re: Overbearing Grandparents

Thanks galinaqt for letting me know I'm not alone because I could swear that I was the only person with this problem. Obviously not. He actually gave you a list of things your not doing or doing "wrong". Or did I misunderstand? I know I need to rely on their help too and be appreciative (which generally I am) except when they start overstepping their boundaries and thinking they are the parents when they are not. I am on medication for anxiety and believe me sometimes when I think of spending time with them with my daughter I have to take more than prescribed, if you know what I mean, followed by a shot of some kind of alcohol (which you are not supposed to do with this medication).

We went to DisneyWorld one year with my parents (they invited us and our daughter) and the whole time my father had this "itinerary" planned on where we had to be, at what time, and he was racing all around the park like a madman sweating his *ss off like he wanted to be a heart attack victim (my daughter was only 2 at the time). I don't know why that just came up. Maybe this story will make you laugh and brighten your day.

Last edited by ronniesteers; 08-25-2006 at 11:57 AM.

 
Old 08-25-2006, 01:11 PM   #4
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Re: Overbearing Grandparents

My father didn't write a list he just tell me as he called it "what was bad" the minute I step into the house. I also hear - baby is not cat or dog, she needs spend time with her, you want pay somebody else to raise your daughter for you (don't I wish) or he buys something for her or ask other relatives to buy what he thinks she may need and I don't like. Mother always compares her to other kids and make a big deal if somebody doing better at this age.
In my culture people are much less polite and like to interfere more may be that is why I don't take it as hard as you do. It is easy to say than actually do it but you have to try to take it easy, it is not gonna help anybody if you take drugs and alcohol over it.

 
Old 08-25-2006, 01:37 PM   #5
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Re: Overbearing Grandparents

Where are you from?

 
Old 08-25-2006, 01:59 PM   #6
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Re: Overbearing Grandparents

Originally from Russia

 
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