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Old 09-14-2006, 09:46 AM   #1
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Forever Feeling Guilty

I think the only thing I dislike about being a parent (besides handling the temper tantrums) is the guilt I always feel. I know it seems silly (there are a lot of you out there with worse issues). I always feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with her (I'm a full time working mom) and usually don't get home until close to 5:30 or so. Then I'm busy cooking dinner, etc. I really feel guilty today because she just started kindergarten, a very special thing, and her first day, I didn't even take a picture. Today was picture day at her school and I think I remembered last night briefly (I put the brochure of packages on the table to remind myself) and this morning I forgot (she was dressed in jeans and a T Shirt). Sometimes she gives me a hard time in the morning getting dressed. I have felt really bad all day. LIke I am an inattentive mother. That would have been so special - to have her kindergarten picture and now I have lost the opportunity. I am crying right now. I hate that I have to work as much as I do and lose time with her and because of the pace and hecticness, I miss or don't remember these events. That's all I have to say.

 
Old 09-14-2006, 09:49 AM   #2
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

Ronnie - all is not lost.....it's still the first day of kindergarden.....take her picture after school

 
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Old 09-14-2006, 11:09 AM   #3
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

THank you for that lift. Simple answers are sometimes the best!

 
Old 09-14-2006, 11:46 AM   #4
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty


Glad I could help.....you wanna really make her happy?
Take her out for ice cream after school!

 
Old 09-14-2006, 11:57 AM   #5
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

I am also full time working mom and my career requires more than 8h input and I don't spend enough time with my dd, but I have different attitude about it.
I am providing her descent lifestyle (touch wood) and she should be greateful for that. You do what you have to do, a lot of people are like that. She normally cranky in the morning and very picky about what to wear. One day she decided that she wear dresses only and there is nothing I can do. It is not the reason for me to feel bad all day. My neighbour has 2 daughters: one is easy and another one gave her hard time every morning about what to wear and doesn't want to get up and so on.
You just have to detach otherwise you won't last long.

 
Old 09-14-2006, 12:31 PM   #6
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

It's true. Recently I am learning to deal better with it when she gives me a hard time. When it first started (the morning I don't want to get ready routine) I would scream and yell and throw the clothes at her. (I also have bipolar disorder which I am taking medicine for so my moods fluctuate constantly). Now, I take away something she cares about and put it away until she gets ready, that usually works. Or give her an incentive. Yeah, you sound pretty easy going. Sometimes I am harsh with my daughter and harsh with myself.

 
Old 09-14-2006, 03:27 PM   #7
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

My dh works different shift. He normally takes care of her in the morning and I do in the evening. She is normally very crancy in the morning. It is partially my fault, she goes to bed late. She always find excuses to go to bed late, suddenly wants to eat, this and that. I am trying to improve. Sometimes she wants me to help her in the morning especially if I am in a hurry to get to work.
You are pretty lucky to be home by 5.30. I have relative in NY who has 4 h a day commute she only has time to bath kids and put to bed. One of her kids didn't talk until 2. Another friend has 2 jobs and 2 little kids. Her older one found to be "slow", he almost doesn't talk at 2 but she has no intention to slow down.
I've heard that while ago family could leave on one income, but it is almost never happened this days.

 
Old 09-15-2006, 08:42 AM   #8
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

My daughter does the same thing - stays up late, goes into the refrigerator and cabinet for snacks and procrastinates going to bed. Then she won't wake up in the morning for school or is groggy. I tried enforcing a bedtime. It stopped when she was 2 and no longer in the crib. Since then, it's been downhill. Even then, when she was 2 she used to lie awake in the crib for the longest time before she fell asleep. I guess she was always a night owl. Now, it's very hard to change the routine/habit. Although I'm sure there is a solution in one of those books "experts" on parenting write.

Take care,

 
Old 09-15-2006, 09:31 AM   #9
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

In my former country people think that kid should be outside big part of the day. If he/she play a lot on a fresh air than he/she will fall asleep. Also if I wake up early I want to go to bed early but if I do it late I want to go to bed late I bet kids are same way.
Instead of going to bed she is drawing on her table and trashing her room like taking all her dresses and throwing on the floor and she doesn't mind to help us to clean next day.
I think we will grow as parents but it certainly harder since we are tired after workday and other stuff we have to do.

 
Old 09-20-2006, 10:03 PM   #10
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

Hi,
I'm a Mother of four children and I work, I write everything on my calander, I check it every morning, that way I won't forget anything and pack there back packs the night before and lay out there cloths for in the morning, it makes your morning run allot smoother.
Karen

 
Old 09-21-2006, 02:26 AM   #11
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Re: Forever Feeling Guilty

Hi Ronnie. I know exactly how you feel. I work long hours and weekends and I feel like I miss so much of my son's growing up. You just need to remeber that your donig it for your family. It is in their best interest for you to go and work so you can afford nicer things. It is really important to make the most of the time you have with her. Even if it's just playing a game or reading a book before bed time.

 
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