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Old 09-23-2006, 10:41 AM   #1
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Des11 HB User
Feeling Guilty about going back to work

Hi all
Im hoping that you guys can ease some of my fears. I have been a stay at home mother of two for about 4 1/2 years now and i have recently decided to return to work part time in the evenings to help out things have been VERY tight for us. As the day nears for my first day im feeling so guilty having to leave my children with my sister in law and mother in law on some days they dont really have any relationships with my children other than seeing them for a couple of minutes at church etc. I know that i have to at this point help out but its killing me!!! Any advice for me to get over this

regards
Des11

 
Old 09-24-2006, 11:35 PM   #2
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mayam HB User
Re: Feeling Guilty about going back to work

I think your fears are normal and it will probably be easier once you have got into a routine with this. It will be good for you to go back to work and help easy the money issue as well as giving you another interest.
Prepare your children in advance and keep it positive so that they will not pick up on your apprehension.
Yes, this will probably be harder for you than it is for them. You are leaving them with your relatives, who have agreed to look after them, not with total strangers. If after say a month you decide that it isn't working, then you would have to rethink the situation.
Good luck and let us kow how you go.
Maya

 
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:16 AM   #3
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Feeling Guilty about going back to work

I had to go to work full time when my daughter was 3 m and gave her to daycare not to relatives. A lot of people give 3 m old or even 2 weeks old to daycares. My brother just have a baby and his wife going to work in 3 m they are interviewing nannys. You go to work part time and relatives are watching your kids it is not bad at all.
Your kids need food, clothes, place to leave so you have to work. I don't know that many these days who can leave on one income.

 
Old 09-28-2006, 12:50 PM   #4
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alleycat2 HB User
Re: Feeling Guilty about going back to work

I am sure the kids will add to the guilt when they ask why but keep telling them and yourself that it's for them that you are doing this. Assure them that you don't want to be away from them but money is tight and to get the whole family the things they want and need you have to go too work. Be sure to say the whole family. If you say them they might feel guilty like it's because of them that you are doing this, which it is but, not in a negative way! Let them know they can still come to you when you get home with any issues they have had you help with in the past so they won't feel like ok now we can't ask Mom because we are bugging her now with the stuff we use to ask about. I wish you so much luck with this! I am about to be off on maternity leave with the newest upcoming addition too my family and I can't imaging leaving the baby and coming back to work and the baby isn't even here yet. I know i am going to have issues and you have been with your kids for years!

 
Old 10-28-2006, 10:22 PM   #5
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Layloo HB User
Re: Feeling Guilty about going back to work

Dear Des11,

If this is the first time you have felt guilty then you must be doing a great job. Being a good mother sometimes means that you usually feel you are never doing quite enough. It seems that misplaced "guilt" is part of the teritory. My daughters are 20, 15 & 13 and I went back to work when my second daughter was 3 months old. I placed her in the nursery until I got a nanny and I have been working ever since. Please don't feel guilty, whether you are working because of the income or whether you are working because you like it - you are doing because it is needed - either for the family or for you. Try to look at the positive side of things. Your children will be spending more time with their grandmother and aunt and getting to know them and as long as your kids seem to be happy and your mother and sister-in-law respect your rules and regulations etc. it will work (hopefully) work out. Guilt part of parenting, but like a snake sheds its skin - it needs to be shaken off sometimes.

 
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