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Old 09-26-2006, 01:46 PM   #1
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alleycat2 HB User
Paranoid or protective?

Ok here is the thing. I am about to have my 1st baby. My siblings are planning on having all the grandkids take a group photo to update our pictures after the baby is born. Now last time we had a group photo taken it was stressfull. My niece was a baby and all the other kids wanted to be the one to be able to hold her during the pictures. The 2 that made the biggest fuss was my twin nieces who at the time were about 12. Whenever they were allowed to hold the baby they kept turning around to boss or play with their dress or hair or something. In the mean time they almost dropped the baby 3 times and my sister was horrified. Their Mother as usual played it off like it wasn't a big deal. She has always downplayed their inappropriate behaviour. Anyway this year my baby is the youngest and they are already talking about the upcoming pictures and anitcipating holding my child by harrasing the photographer endlessly like they did the 1st time. I am nervous and I know 2 of my siblings will understand my fear but my sister (their mother) will me mad. Granted the girls are now older (14) but they still haven't matured much. Their little 7 year old brother acts more responsible and mature than they do! Example.. they got caught shoplifting. When asked why it was wrong they said "had their parents not been so cheap and bought them what they wanted they wouldn't have had to take it." I have a mind to pull aside the photographer and request that they not hold my child in any of the poses! Would this be terrible or is it just my protective instincts? If I did this would the photographer freak and say I don't want to get in the middle or would he/she be understanding?

 
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Old 09-26-2006, 07:51 PM   #2
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lovemybabyboys HB User
Re: Paranoid or protective?

both
welcome to motherhood.
i really think that at 14 they should be fine, of course i don't know them, and who knows, they may not even want to hold the baby this year. at 14 they understand expectations. if one of them are to be the one to hold the baby, then i would simply say, blame it on being a paranoid/protective mom, "your going to have to pay close attention to my baby and take good care of her or you can't hold her." i still use the paranoid mom thing and my boys are 4 and 14 months. a friend/relative will want to take them to wal-mart or something and i say "i know i'm paranoid, but i rather them stay with me or just go to your house another day" i have this fear of someone not watching my kids as close as i do. and it works, some may roll their eyes at me, but at least my kids are safe and taken care of. i am very fond of the saying, i'd rather be safe than sorry.
but i really do think they would be fine. and you will be right there. i would just determine how many pictures they are going to take, and say "ok, you get to hold her for x many of the photos, and you get to hold her x many of times" that way they won't be arguing over the baby during the shoot. but if you don't feel right about it when the time comes, then speak up, it's your baby, noone elses, and you do what you think is best for your baby.
good luck and hope you end up with beautiful pictures.
take care

Last edited by lovemybabyboys; 09-26-2006 at 07:52 PM.

 
Old 09-27-2006, 06:59 AM   #3
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Paranoid or protective?

I totally understand your feelings. I wouldn't let some teenager to hold the baby. There mother doesn't care 'cause it is not her baby. Baby's interest comes first.
They can give your baby infection in addittion to everything. Before my dd was 3 m old I have only few close relatives near her.
May be you can just fool them saying that baby is not well so we have to wait with pictures and don't let teenagers to hold her, since they can drop her.
Better be safe than sorry. You are the one who will pay the price.

 
Old 09-27-2006, 08:59 AM   #4
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mayam HB User
Re: Paranoid or protective?

Well you could say, as it's the first picture with your baby that you are going to be the one to hold him/her.
If you cannot get out of it, make sure the one who holds the baby is sitting down and being attentive and then hand your baby over at the last minute just before the photographer takes the photo. Children have a short attention span and get fidgety having to wait until things are ready. Although at 14 years old they need to understand that they will have to act responsibly otherwise they don't get to hold the baby at all.
Then take the baby away to be fed, changed or whatever you decide needs doing. Yes, it is your decision on when you and your child have had enough.
Talk to your sister who had the previous experience and get her to back up whatever you decide on.
Good luck.

 
Old 10-05-2006, 07:23 PM   #5
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hfalk95 HB User
Re: Paranoid or protective?

The best advice I ever recieved was: When it comes to you child go with your gut instincts. As a mom we tend to second guess most desions we make, if something goes wrong you'd blame your self for not going with your gut. This advice works for all age groups and a varity of circcumstances.

 
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