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Old 10-01-2006, 08:46 PM   #1
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daystar91 HB User
Struggling with mom vs job

I'm a stay at home mom/part employee in the last three years i have worked as a part time Sub teachers assistance in my home town school...In two weeks from now i'm going to be a full time employee and on swing shift..My problem I don't know if i can do this six day a week job, nine hour shift and be the mother that i want to be..I have never missed my kids 14 & 8 sports or any school functions..I have rarely left my kids to sitters i only worked when they were at school, the sitters have only been family memebers..Not that my oldest needs a sitter at this time but it's always to have someone home when you returned from school atleast that's what i thought..I really want this job pay is good but the hours aren't that great..Does any other parent out there struggle with working and being a mom????I need some advice in how to cope with how i feel...Misssing any type of games or anything that goes on at school that i can't attend with my kids is ripping me apart...

 
Old 10-02-2006, 07:05 AM   #2
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Struggling with mom vs job

My dd is only 3.5 y.old but she was at daycare since 3 m old. I know that I have to work and my work requires more than 8 h and I accepted it. She needs roof over her head and food and clothes and other stuff.
These days very few people can leave on one income. Most of mine friends/relatives work full time. If they are lucky they have family members to take there kids for different kind of activities, may be you can set it up with other parents. If they don't have family to help them, they have to pay.

 
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Old 10-02-2006, 11:37 AM   #3
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daystar91 HB User
Re: Struggling with mom vs job

The family member that's sitting for me i do have to pay for...It's nice that other people might be willing to go to my kids games but it's not the same..I enjoy watching my kids..My oldest son is in varsity football and i'm so afraid of missing out...Then in the back of mind sits what if i can't find someone to watch their games who will be there for them if i can't..My kids have never had to rely on anyone but me...Maybe it think to many of what ifs...Thanks

 
Old 10-02-2006, 11:42 AM   #4
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Struggling with mom vs job

You do what you have to do. To me putting food on the table comes first. May be you aren't that hurt for money so you can leave on one income and put all attention on kids.

 
Old 10-05-2006, 11:50 AM   #5
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m1e1b1s1 HB User
Re: Struggling with mom vs job

You do need to do what you have to do..

I've got 2 kids, one is 15, the other 7....I miss lots of games and my 15 yo plays both JV and Varsity. She understands though, I can not work, and go to all her games, if she is willing to make HUGE sacrafices.

We have a mortgage, car payment, bills, like everyone else and COULD most likely do it if I didn't work, but there would be no more adidas sneakers, AAU basketball in the spring, vacations, etc, and she wants to go to Medical school to boot.....

I also think she respects my work ethic more than she would respect me staying home.....what would I do with myself all day while they are in school...GO NUTS....BORED....I couldn't do it.....

It sounds like you need to go back financially (assuming you do, and that is why you are).....your not alone, there are millions of 2 paycheck parents in homes, and the kids are doing great....

My daughter is on the Principals list in school, plays sports year round and is adjusted to my working.....she respects me for it, respect she wouldn't have if I were just home! My son is in the second grade and doing well....he started daycare at 7 weeks old.....of course I felt guilt and I missed them, but I also knew i need to provide for them.

Good luck! Don't feel guilty......sometimes other things have to come first, housing and food being on top of that list!.

 
Old 10-05-2006, 12:01 PM   #6
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Struggling with mom vs job

Quote:
Originally Posted by daystar91
The family member that's sitting for me i do have to pay for...It's nice that other people might be willing to go to my kids games but it's not the same..I enjoy watching my kids..My oldest son is in varsity football and i'm so afraid of missing out...Then in the back of mind sits what if i can't find someone to watch their games who will be there for them if i can't..My kids have never had to rely on anyone but me...Maybe it think to many of what ifs...Thanks
May be you can attend games which are on the weekends?
I don't know much about that stuff but some activities should be on the weekends or you can take time off and make up on the weekend if you really have to, although I don't know what kind of job you are doing.

 
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