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Old 10-12-2006, 04:42 AM   #1
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teenager and homework

I have a very bright teenage son in 9th grade. He is normally such a great boy, but he just will not do his homework and turn it in. He gets good marks as far as respect etc in class. He just lies and says he does his homework, then we get emails from his teachers that he hasn't done it. So we took everything away, and I mean everything. This has been going on since 7 th grade. He barely passed last year. This is his first year of hight school, and same thing is happening. He no longer has a phone in his room, no cell phone, no computer, no music, nothing. This happened last night after he blatantly lied to his father. I hope this works. I don't know what else to do. He can do the work, he just thinks for some reason he doesn't have to. Has anyone else had this problem, and what did you do to solve it. His dad and I are at our wits end. I can't believe he just lies to use and it doesn't even bother him. He got upset last night, but not because he was sorry, but because he lost all priveleges. Before we would take something away and it never helped. This time was the whole shebang.

 
Old 10-12-2006, 10:16 AM   #2
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Re: teenager and homework

When you say you took away everything what does that mean? Because my parents tried that method on my brother and it worked because the only thing left in his room was his bed and some clothes. They literally took everything. My mom also told my brother that she would go to class with him, and she was dead serious. Don't believe that he tells you he does his homework. When he comes home from school, make him show you all the homework assignments and then make him show you the completed assignments at the end of the evening. Good luck with him. He'll be okay. Just stay on top of him until he realizes that doing homework in non-negotiable.

 
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Old 10-12-2006, 12:45 PM   #3
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Re: teenager and homework

Quote:
Originally Posted by mystiq86
When you say you took away everything what does that mean? Because my parents tried that method on my brother and it worked because the only thing left in his room was his bed and some clothes. They literally took everything. My mom also told my brother that she would go to class with him, and she was dead serious. Don't believe that he tells you he does his homework. When he comes home from school, make him show you all the homework assignments and then make him show you the completed assignments at the end of the evening. Good luck with him. He'll be okay. Just stay on top of him until he realizes that doing homework in non-negotiable.
Yes, we took everything but his clothes and bed also. This is the first day, so we will see how it goes. As far as showing us the assignments, I never know if he is telling us the truth. Today he says he has math, and I will ask to see it tonight. I don't know if he has more and he is not telling me. I wish the teachers had a website where the daily homework assinments were posted. Why was your brother doing this anyway. Did he ever say what made him behave that way. My son will not confide in my very much.

 
Old 10-12-2006, 04:47 PM   #4
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angelique5 HB User
Re: teenager and homework

I also have a 14 yr old boy in 9th grade...sometimes communicating with him is like pulling teeth!

I think... you'll have to be in CONSTANT contact with his teachers. Maybe they can email you his homework assignments and due dates. And then make him show you his homework, and go over it with him.

At my son's school, and this is a nationwide thing, they use a website called [url][ REMOVED ][/url].... its WONDERFUL. The teachers can post the assignments...i get occasional grades updated...i can stay right on him about his test scores, his grades...see where he's struggling~ and I dont have to be begging anyone at the school for information!

Is there any chance his school uses it too, and he didn't give you the information??

Last edited by moderator2; 10-13-2006 at 06:11 AM. Reason: please do not post commercial websites, as per the posting rules

 
Old 10-13-2006, 03:54 AM   #5
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Re: teenager and homework

I would definetly make him do his work. However, do not take it to an extreme. I had one of my very close freinds go through this. He started doing his homework and got really good grades. However, his parents put such high expectations on him that he ended up loosing most of his friends because he was doing homework so much. His parents finally realized what they were doing to their son socially but by then the damage could not be repaired. Homework is important but dont be extremely hard on him.

Last edited by jtm; 10-13-2006 at 04:02 AM.

 
Old 10-13-2006, 10:30 AM   #6
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Re: teenager and homework

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtom
I would definetly make him do his work. However, do not take it to an extreme. I had one of my very close freinds go through this. He started doing his homework and got really good grades. However, his parents put such high expectations on him that he ended up loosing most of his friends because he was doing homework so much. His parents finally realized what they were doing to their son socially but by then the damage could not be repaired. Homework is important but dont be extremely hard on him.
I don't think we put too much pressure on him. I just want him to put forth an effort. I definitely want him to have a social life, which has been really on the rise lately. This is what I don't understand, it seems the more freedom we give him, the less he wants to do the right thing. I am so confused.

 
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