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Old 11-07-2006, 02:34 PM   #1
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alleycat2 HB User
married to single parent

I have to say 1st of all how much I admire single parents! I am married but I now feel like a single parent. My husband helped with the baby for about the 1st week. After that he kept using the escuse that he couldn't help because I was breastfeeding and since than I have been caring for the baby alone night and day. My husband left his vehical at his mom's house and has been taking my vehical so I am stuck at home all day long. Our baby is a month old now and I am ehausted! All my husband thinks about anymore is work, hunting and himself. I have started the baby on a bottle to get him use to them for when I go back to work and my husband still hasn't gotten up with our baby to help! My husband forgot our anniversary and my annoying M.I.L. is trying too tell me how to raise my child and my husband takes her side. I still do what I want regardless of what they say. I feel as if my duties as a wife have slipped since the baby is born but his duties as a Fatherr have slipped too. My husband has started smoking and has a smokers cough and when he's not coughing he's snoring. I can't even sleep in my own bed because he keeps me and the baby awake! He does pay attention to him once in a while at home but mostly just to show off in front of people. He is always ttying to convince me to leave our baby with a sitter (pushy M.I.L.) so we can go out. I feel upset being away from my baby this early and he don't understand that! I know single parents have it harder but I am not a single parent and I shouldn't have to do this on my own! How do I get my husband to be a Father?

Last edited by alleycat2; 11-07-2006 at 02:43 PM.

 
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Old 11-07-2006, 08:57 PM   #2
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besafe20 HB User
Re: married to single parent

I read in another post of yours, that your husband didn't want to have children. Even now that he has one he doesn't want anymore.. Correct? I think this says a lot about him. Some men do not want to have kids, but then after having one, they fall in love and want more. These men also become good helpers with the baby. From what you say about your husband it sounds like he was serious when he said he didn't want kids. Some people are not cut out to be parents. I assume you have told him what you have told us on this board. How did he respond? While I think he is behaving very poory as a father/husband it may just be who he is. I am curious to know what his excuses are for this.

 
Old 11-09-2006, 10:43 AM   #3
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Re: married to single parent

Actually he wanted a child but just not right away. After he brought it up too me and said it was time we had a baby he was considering having 2 kids but no more. It was after I got pregnant that he backed out and said he only wanted one child. So I didn't push him on the subject. I told him how I felt and since than he has helped out a little more but not much. Maybe that's all I can hope for!

 
Old 11-15-2006, 09:42 AM   #4
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Re: married to single parent

Sounds like my husband in so many ways. And the next thing they of course will ask for and think they deserve is sex. Lol. Go figure. I went back to work with the quickness. At that point he had no choice but to figure out how to take care of the baby and be a father. Our son is now 18 months old and he snapped into shape with the baby right away but still it is mostly my responsibility. I get breaks but I still can't remember many night where my husband got up with him. I work at night and he works during the day. He is a good dad now. It is really easy for men to ignore the change and the responsibility. I don't know why. I resent him for that sometimes. If we are both watching tv for some reason it is always left to me to stop our son from doing something. He has gotten better over time but only because he has been in training with me. I have walked outside or will sit and wait to see how far it will go before he will get off his butt. If you work days I suggest you join a bowling league or something for a mom's night out. Talk with him. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you need him to pick up some slack. First try that and if it does not work then you need to start making some demands....or purposely make plans where he will have to be with the baby. My husband came around at about six weeks. He keeps getting better too. The more the baby responds the more he does.

 
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