Childs safty goes first and you can end up with disabled for life baby. You shouldn't let your bf take care of him. You can tell him that it will be better this way but when baby will be bigger than he can play sports games with him, take him to different activities and so on.
I think your bf is not just cut up for caring for infant, but baby won't be infant all the time and he can be very useful down the road you can't explain him that.
There are man who just can't do it, I was very fortinate with my husband who can do same things around our dd as me.
Steph, are you seeing these accidents with your own eyes or is he explaining injuries to you that you are not witnessing? If you are not witnessing these accidents I would never leave him alone with the baby ever again.
hi Just want to ask is the baby his? if he isn't that may be why hes not being that careful with him/her, some men just arnt cut out for the dad thing and think baby's can do things for themselves. You should tell him unless he gives the baby his 100% attention when he's taking care of her then you have no choice but not to leave the two of them alone. A baby is very fragile and banging their heads can cause much harm this man needs to buck his ideas up, would he drop or let go of a puppy in such a way i think not! You need to tell him straight I know accidents happen but that seems like a lot of accidents to happen in a short space of time all the best and good luck mandy
I'm sorry, but how many times does he have to hurt the baby before you do something about it? An accident is something that happens once and you are 100% more careful to ensure it doesn't happen again.
I would never let him be alone with the baby. Have you taken your baby to the doctor for these "head injuries"? Do you realize that if the doctor suspects abuse he/she is obligated to report it. You could be held just as liable because you are not doing anything to prevent it.
I am with the other's this does'nt sound right to me.One accident maybe but this many time's is very suspicious.The guy is either not very bright or abusive one or the other is all it can be.I would never let him be alone with the baby sheesh id have a hard time letting him hold the baby in my presence even.I am also curious if this guy is the baby's father? I don't know girl I hate to think he'd be abusing your baby but it appears that way to me this is way too many time's of "accident's" with no retification just keeps on happening.I would be taking some action.I am curious as well if you have been there for these "accidents" as in did you actually see it happen?
Last edited by tnmomofive; 11-14-2006 at 09:06 PM.
This does not sound normal at all. I don't see that you responded at all. Have you read these posts? I would not let him near the baby. I have a friend who had a family friend watching her 18 month old and little supposed accidents happened. Well she had been shaking the baby and hurting the baby and eventually killed the little girl. There were two older children around also and no one said anything. The girl is now in jail awaiting a possible life sentence.
I could not believe I read ...I do not want to hurt my boyfriend's feelings but I don't trust him with my baby b/c he hurts him/her....
you are putting a man before your child. you really are showing where your priorites lay, and they seem to be misplaced. you are not even married to the guy! and this is your child!!!! sometimes, as we mature, we have to realize we have things/people in our lives that are reasons a relationship cannot work. its not like tv where love can conquer all. (ie if he didn't want kids at all and you had three, you guys potentially could have a great relationship but it can't work b/c of the kids).
i don't think you will be objective in assessing if he is abusive or not, the fact that you are scared to leave your baby with him and yet you haven't left him is a sign your judgement is off (although to your credit, you DO recognize a problem).
if you do find out objectively that he is not abusive, maybe force him to take parenting classes? but would it be worth it? your trust is gone and you can find a nother guy in the 3 billion this world has who doesn't drop children!
what if something really bad happens (although i would consider the "accidents" bad enough already)? will you look back and kick yourslef for not "seeing" the warning signs? recognizing a problem has no worth if your baby is permanently damage or dead.
sorry it sounds so harsh, but i really think you need to put your vulnerable, helpless, blameless baby first. respect and honour the little person he is and protect him from people that hurt him.
if something were to happen (like mental handycap) which i dont believe; i would not want to raise a child of such stature, and i would want my bf to, and i would leave my bf, for i could not live such a life of sadness. my heart would break.
so are you saying if the baby was mentally handicapped you wouldn't want to raise him but you WOULD want your boyfriend to and you would leave your boyfriend and the baby?
Am I understand what you said because that just doesn't make sense......please clarify!
Steph, honey, I'm going to say something that you're not going to like. But, could you just mull it over and see if it fits?
Having been abused yourself, I think it's very possible that you accept behavior as okay that other people wouldn't accept.
It is not okay that your boyfriend drops the baby. It is not okay that your boyfriend hurts the baby. It is not okay to have your baby around someone that you can't trust. It just is not okay. These are things that you, yourself, said about your boyfriend and the baby.
Steph, you need help. You're in over your head here. Does your Mom help you? Does your boyfriend's Mom help? Can you talk to them about what you've told us?
I understand that you don't want to leave your boyfriend. I understand that you are in a difficult situation. Would you at least consider counseling to build your own self confidence? There are plenty of counselors who work on a "pay as you can" basis. Would you consider it?
God Bless You, kiddo. You've got an awful lot to deal with right now.
I am glad to hear the b/f has'nt dropped the baby lately and that you are keeping close watch but that sounds very stressing to me.As far as your baby seems fine well that very well could be and I hope your right.I do know people can get a head injury though and it won't show for years.Alot of people with seizure disorders the cause was due to hitting their heads as kids and the seizures did not start till later in life so just something to think about.I am also with rose on her last post what she quoted you saying does'nt sound khoser to me.Personally if it was me id of taken my baby and left this guy already I could'nt handle the "what if's" of this particular situation it would eat me up and the fact that i'd never leave the baby alone with the b/f because I could not trust him.If your baby ended up brain damaged you believe you'd run off then that is all the more reason to leave this guy! I could'nt leave my child though no matter what if I leave my child come's with or in my case my "children."I am taking that one pretty hard that you say you'd leave your child with this guy who is known to drop him
Last edited by tnmomofive; 11-17-2006 at 07:01 AM.