Re: 7 yr old Daughter- Masterbating
Although I know it's normal for kids to explore their bodies, I do understand your concern about her doing this at inappropriate times/places, and also while under her covers with a friend in her bed. At 7 years old, she is able to comprehend when it just isn't approrpiate behavoir.
I know you don't want to make her feel guilty about something that is a normal part of growing up, but being in bed with a friend, whether they were just experimenting, or whatever really did need to be addressed in a firm manner. You did the right thing in telling her she isn't allowed in her room with friends having the door closed. This is truly a sticky situation because of the fact that she isn't keeping her explorations "private".
Kids these days are exposed to so much more than we were when I was growing up, and I think that sex in general is basically pushed to the max in many public arenas, which basically gives kids these days a very "open" view of sex. I know it's really hard to govern every second your child is watching television, on-line or playing video games (lots of explicit sexual content and violence in them these days), but as parents, we need to be vigilant in our efforts to monitor what our kids are being exposed to. True enough, that no matter how much we "govern" at home, kids are hearing things at school, at other friends houses, etc. but still, we must continue to properly educate our children about sex. When the time is right of course.
I don't even know what to tell you about this, except to keep speaking with your daughter about this and reinforce that certain things are not acceptable at her young age. This could very well just be a passing phase, but you are doing the right thing by talking with her about this and not just being silent and hoping it will just go away.
I agree that we don't want our children to be made to feel that sex is a bad or dirty thing, but we still have a responsibility to teach them about it and to try and guide them if you will, to understanding the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviors regarding sex. I know it's not easy, and no matter what we do, there comes a point when they are going to make their own choices anyway.
Just keep an eye on the situation, and if she asks questions, absolutely answer them in a way that a 7 year old can understand because these things are better being taught by a concerned and loving parent than by some other kid at school or on the bus who really knows way more than they should at this age. I have been totally shocked by some of the things my son has come home and told me he heard on the bus or at school. When he started asking questions, I figured he really needed to know from a responsible adult, so we had our talk. To this day, if either my daughter or son asks a question, they get an answer.
Take care, and keep the lines of communication open.
Last edited by ozzybug; 12-19-2006 at 08:49 AM.