Hi, i am not new to the board but new to this thread. Hi to all of the parents here! I am wondering if anyone can give me some advice on this parent thing. I have five boys all together ages are, 17, 13,13,12,6. One of the twins are ADHD combined type and the other is Bipolar. The six year old is also ADHD possibly Bipolar. They are all by the same father except the oldest, his father passed when he was two. They all have sleep insomia except the oldest and me and they take medication for this, so thats also hard. My biggest struggle right now is they always argue and fight. Me and hubby do not argue or abuse, but i need to find a way to easily stop this. They are always calling eachother names terribly and hitting eachother. Me and hubby find ourselves yelling alot due to this. Any and i mean any advice would help! I don't have alot of outside help at all. My biggest mom alone time is groceries. I am scheduled to have surgery soon and in the past they seemed to do okay and let me recover, but i feel it has gotten more out of hand.
Don't have much time so i will just reply briefly. I watched an episode of Wife Swap the other week and these 2 little boys were constantly fighting. The new wife changed their diet. She cut out sugar and the like (eg red cordial) and wouldn't yell at them when they fought but spoke to them calmly about responsibilites etc. As soon as the wives went to their original houses again the real wife put them back on sugar and yelled at them and they resorted to their ways. The other thing that was used was tai chi (or some form of yoga). the results seemed quite amazing. not sure if you know the show called "wife swap". so in summary, this is what worked
- cut out sugar and modify diet
- speak calmly to kids about violence and responsibility for their feelings and actions
- tai chi/yoga/gentle excercises
i'm not a mum so i don't have personal experience
hope this helps
This might sound a little strange, but you might consider setting a time aside specifically for yelling and name calling. Get them all together, set a timer for 20 minutes and let them go at it. Ecourage them to yell louder, more and more...Exagerrate it. The condition for them doing this is that they cannot do it any other time. This is there time to yell and call each other names to their heart's content. They cannot hit each other. This may not work at all, but it might help confine these aggressive energies into a specific time and place.
sure; you can join in with the kids! Fun for the whole family ! In fact, it might really shock the kids to have you join in with them. If it becomes something really fun for everyone there is a greater liklihood the kids will behave at other times so they can do it together during the set period.