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Old 01-08-2007, 08:31 AM   #1
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potty training problem

My 4 year old pi on the toilet but she doesn't poo on the toilet. Before she both pee and poo on the potty. She does everything right at daycare. She still wears diaper at night and when we go places.
I don't know what can be done.

 
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Old 01-23-2007, 01:08 AM   #2
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Re: potty training problem

if she does both at daycare then you know she can do it.. how about.. you explain to her that you know she can do number 2's on the toilet because she does at daycare and thefore you know she can do it at home and whenever you are out.. perhaps take the diapers away? sure it means you may have some mess to clean up.. but she may be doing it because she can! put undies on her, tell her what you expect. and that if she has an accident she will have to clean herself up.. meaning, she can take of her dirty clothes, wipe her own bottom and then find some clean ones to put on.. dont make her do the washing tho!! if she has a tantrum about getting clean clothes on herself, you could tell her she can stay dirty then, she will soon get a sore butt and change her clothes..

It may sound a little harsh what i am suggesting and you no ur child best but i suggest this becasue perhaps she simply isnt doing it becasue you arent making her. (ie putting a diaper on).. kids can get lazy sometimes, and she may just be trying it on with you.. good luck, it can be frustrating sometimes! let me know how you get on..

 
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Old 01-23-2007, 01:59 PM   #3
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Re: potty training problem

We took diapers at night away and in now she is pooing in her pants. Yesterday I was suspected her doing it, but she convienced me that she didn't do it. I found it out only when it was the time to undress her to take a bath.
I was begging her and promised her candy and barbie dolls if she poos in the toilet but no way. She makes me mad as a hell.

 
Old 01-24-2007, 03:39 AM   #4
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Re: potty training problem

so she was happy to spend time in dirty pants? have you asked her why she wont do it on the toilet? if so.. what was her response?
I know you must be frustrated and im sorry for that but im not sure bribing her with candy and toys is the way to go.. i do have another idea tho.. how about finding out what it is that she just loves.. it could be a toy or somthing else she really enjoys.. explain to her if she does not go on the toilet, the next time you are going to take that toy away, and she wont get it back until she starts doing as she is supposed to.. all kids have a currency, find hers, it may take you taking a few of the things that are most precious to her, away but be consistant and i think it might work! she will probaby have a real big wobbly if you do it, but dont give in.. i am assuming there is no medical reason for this as she is fine at daycare but if you think there could be a medical reason, take her to the doc..

 
Old 01-24-2007, 11:11 AM   #5
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Re: potty training problem

She didn't give me any logical explanation why she does it. My dh thinks it is a power struggle. I was telling her that instead of diapers I can buy her barbie doll but she has to use toilet for that and she was agree on it but let's see. Yesterday she piid during the night on her bad and we have to change sheets 'cause she called us and asked us to do it.

 
Old 01-24-2007, 11:41 AM   #6
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Re: potty training problem

i think dh might be right.. it sounds like you are in a power struggle with her and the thing about those is you cant let her win and i no you are trying very hard! Your daughter seems to like barbie dolls, that is good, i hope she is able to stick the the agreement you have made with her! let me know how you get on with that! another thought.. before she goes to bed is she having a drink? if she wet the bed but usually goes to the toilet to pee then perhaps she was just in a deep sleep last night, accidents do happen still at 4.. my 4 year old has the occasioal accident at night and when i quiz him it is usually because it was to cold to get out of bed.. perhaps make sure she doesnt have anything to drink an hour before bedtime?

 
Old 01-24-2007, 12:11 PM   #7
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Re: potty training problem

My dh decided to put water in her room every night in case she wants to drink. I never want to drink at night but since he put it, she always drink it. Even though it is first time she pi in her bad at night since we take diaper away.
When she used a potty she did both pi and poo there but with a toilet and special seat with it she doesn't want to poo in it and I don't understand why.
Every time I promised her something if she doesn't need diaper and she seems understand but keep doing it.
Kids these days have so many toys and everything so she knows that she will get it anyway, so may be she doesn't have insentive.

 
Old 01-24-2007, 12:37 PM   #8
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Re: potty training problem

i suggest not putting water in her room everynight.. it wont do her any harm to wait till the monring for a drink, just give her one an hour before bed that should eliminate the need to go during the night.. she wont be dehydrated if shes had plenty to drink during the day.

as for promicing her things.. i think you are creating trouble for yourself here.. if you are aware that you will give into her evenually and she will get the toy no matter if she does what you want or not then you really are setting yourself up for troubble.. why should she go poos in the toilet when she knows she will get what she wants from you anyway? its a battle of the wills and you have to be stronger! its important she learns to go on the tilet because once shes at school she will be ridiculed by the other kids if she is having accidents and i no you dont want this! It is not easy but you really do need to be tuff with yourself and NOT give into her.. if you tell her no more barbie dolls unless she does poo on the toilet you NEED to you mean it! otherwise you are right, there is no insentive for her to change her behavior.. what did you think about my suggestion to take a toy away each time she doesnt go on the toilet? i really think that could work but its YOU that has to be stong and carry through with what you decide..

 
Old 01-24-2007, 12:40 PM   #9
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Re: potty training problem

one other thing.. when she DOES go poos on the toilet for the first time and as many times as nessasary after that, praise her. tell her how good she is and how proud you are of her.. often that is the incentive to keep kids doing good. they all want there parents to be pleased with them so get excited when she does finally do it

 
Old 01-25-2007, 10:48 AM   #10
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Re: potty training problem

Since we took out diaper she has accidents every night so we don't know what to do. My idea is to put potty in her room. May be we should return pottys to the toilets, since she was pooing in the potty but not in the toilet.
We are very upset about it, especially she is due to kindergattern in 1.5 y.

 
Old 01-25-2007, 11:14 AM   #11
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Re: potty training problem

i think that will be a step backwards if you start letting her go back on the potty.. she is definiatly old enough to go on the toilet and the thing is, You KNOW she can do it because she does it at daycare! this really does make me think that its is more your problem than it is hers.. Im sorry if this sounds hard to hear but im thinking that she does not have the same expectations at home as she does at daycare. they expect her to go toilet at daycare, and she does! you are not requiring enough of her.. are you willing to try any of the things ive suggested? not giving her water to drink while shes in bed.. taking away a barbie doll and NOT buying new ones if she doesnt comply? is it not worth a decent try?

i have one other suggestion, but you would be wise i think do try those other things as well as this.. i assume she goes to bed much earlier than you do.. before YOU go to bed, wake her up, and take her the toilet. she will go back to sleep. just get into the habbit that may avoid her going in the middle of the night however i think if u stop giving her drinks an hour before bed and stop putting water in her room, then she probably wouldnt need to go anyway.

i am curious. do you have trouble getting her to do other things you want her to do? simple things eg, picking up her toys.. eating dinner etc? or is it just this?

I am about out of suggestions for you now. i think what i have suggested is worth a serious try. let me knwo how you get on and good luck

 
Old 01-25-2007, 11:54 AM   #12
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Re: potty training problem

Actually I have trouble with her doing anything it is always a struggle. When she was with my husband in a car today, going to daycare, she was talking out loud that she can go to the toilet during the night and he thought may be we should give her another try. He thought may be buying step stool will help so she will have a place to rest her feet.
I am not buying her dolls until she start going to the toilet. With water is a bit of a struggle with my dh who thinks that she should have one. I don't give it to her lately anyway.
My dh enrolled me to parents encouragement program, hopefully I can learn something there.

 
Old 01-25-2007, 12:53 PM   #13
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: potty training problem

Oops! llllll

Last edited by Sannah; 01-25-2007 at 12:54 PM.

 
Old 01-26-2007, 10:40 AM   #14
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Re: potty training problem

the fact you struggle getting her to do other things, id say it is very likely she is getting away with what she can. have you started these parenting classes? they may have some other suggestions. Why does dh think she needs drinks in her room at night? can he not see that the more you drink, the more you need to pee? It is good you are not going to buy her any more dolls, now perhaps if you start taking away the ones she has, it may be incentive enuff for her to use the toilet.

 
Old 01-26-2007, 10:49 AM   #15
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Re: potty training problem

DS was pretty much potty trained at daycare/preschool shortly before he turned 3. The director instructed us to bring thick training pants and plastic pants to go over those. Was a pain at first -- especially going out somewhere 'cuz he was curious about public bathrooms and sometimes we didn't make it in time. He'd say "oh, I gotta go potty" and it meant right then and there.

We used pull ups at night, but he usually woke up dry. Mainly used those 'cuz I'd bought a HUGE box before the potty training began.Otherwise, just carried around a diaper bag with extra undies, wipes and a change or two of clothes.

Prior to the potty training in conjunction with the preschool, we'd tried pull ups and we'd tried regular big boy underwear. The latter -- he'd pee on the floor and keep right on going. Pull ups, they were like diapers and he'd just go in them.

 
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