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Old 01-11-2007, 05:27 PM   #1
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Unhappy My son caught us :-(

my 3yr old son caught my husband and I having sex it was so not excpected and I am really devistated by it.

The other the day I was sleeping and he came in the bed and lyed down on my back and started to move like he was humping me my husband asked him what did he think he was doing and he said humping mommy..... I WAS EXTREMLY upset pushed him off and told him never to do that again i am so ashamed and feel gross that we put him threw this.....

Why did this have to happen we were not even loud he just woke up and decided to come in to our room :-( at the wrong time. has this happened to

anyone before. did I scar him for life..

 
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Old 01-11-2007, 08:06 PM   #2
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Re: My son caught us :-(

No, I don't tihnk you've scarred him for life. However, it would be in everyone's best interests if you did your best to train him out of that behavior. Imagine sending him off to pre-school or kindergarten and he comes home with a note saying he was humping people. If anyone else were to see this, there's a chance they might suspect some kind of abuse or just something happening that is not orthodox.

Believe me, your son is not the first child to walk in on his parents, nor will he be the last. I say just ignore his behavior for now - like many annoying behaviors, children will grow out of them soon enough. If, however, he keeps it up, you may want to start thinking about how to break him of the habit before he starts humping the wrong people.

 
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Old 01-12-2007, 09:30 AM   #3
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Re: My son caught us :-(

How did he learn the term "humping"? What did you say to him when he walked in the room and saw you? My guess is he's seen it before or on television or maybe that's what you told him you were doing when he walked in, I'm sure you were shocked, embarrassed and quick to tell him something and be done with it.

The other poster is right, kids walk in all the time, you aren't the first. But, since he saw and is now showing inappropriate behavior, it's time to have a quick, basic talk with him. I am always very open with my kids and have explained and used the appropriate terms since day one. You might try:

1. If a door is closed, you must ALWAYS knock first and wait to be invited in. Mommy and Daddy need private time. If your door is closed, Mommy and Daddy will always knock first too.

2. Mommy's and Daddy's make love together, it's a special thing just for them and when you are grown up you might make that choice also.

3. It is not appropriate to pretend like you are doing what you saw Mommy and Daddy doing.

4. Do you have any questions?

If he does you need to ANSWER every one honestly and use the correct terms, but keep it brief and basic at his age.

Also, I highly recommend you get a lock for your door.

 
Old 01-12-2007, 11:14 AM   #4
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Re: My son caught us :-(

Hey there

he knows the term humping because he humps his bed when he is falling asleep this has been happening since he was about 2 1/2. and I told him to stop humping the bed a few times... I guess that was the wrong term to use :-( . and I told my sisters so when they came over we were talking about and I guess that is how he picked it up so they told me to ask the doctor. so I also asked the doctor about the humping thing and she said it is very normal because I thought OMG where the heck did he learn that and she said they just learn threw experimenting.... I guess she is right. this whole pareting thing is soo hard. I am learning as we go but my husband and I decided to get a lock and also have alittle talk with him... we want to be open with him... but not that open ;-) thanks for your imput. it makes me feel alot better and my husband also.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AllTheLarsons
How did he learn the term "humping"? What did you say to him when he walked in the room and saw you? My guess is he's seen it before or on television or maybe that's what you told him you were doing when he walked in, I'm sure you were shocked, embarrassed and quick to tell him something and be done with it.

The other poster is right, kids walk in all the time, you aren't the first. But, since he saw and is now showing inappropriate behavior, it's time to have a quick, basic talk with him. I am always very open with my kids and have explained and used the appropriate terms since day one. You might try:

1. If a door is closed, you must ALWAYS knock first and wait to be invited in. Mommy and Daddy need private time. If your door is closed, Mommy and Daddy will always knock first too.

2. Mommy's and Daddy's make love together, it's a special thing just for them and when you are grown up you might make that choice also.

3. It is not appropriate to pretend like you are doing what you saw Mommy and Daddy doing.

4. Do you have any questions?

If he does you need to ANSWER every one honestly and use the correct terms, but keep it brief and basic at his age.

Also, I highly recommend you get a lock for your door.

 
Old 01-24-2007, 08:59 PM   #5
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Re: My son caught us :-(

VERY normal for this to happen and yet VERY embarrassing. I am going through this right now with my 4 year old daughter. Exept she has told her grandparents (my in laws) that "Mommy and Daddy make tents under the covers naked"...VERY embarrassing. ALso, my daughter has shown me how my husband and I "exercise" by "humping" the ground or backwards humping...like as if she were doing the crab walk...except thrusting her bum as we would. ON TOP of that....she would make the sounds she heard. I have no idea WHEN she saw my husband and I in the middle of this. She probably saw us, we didn't notice, and she went back to bed. So we didn't have to say anything really quick to her. We only figured out she saw us from her motions after the fact and even then we remained very calm over the whole thing because we wanted her to know we weren't caught doing something "bad", but something very normal and appropriate adult-only behavior. I would suggest not making a HUGE deal out if this. What may have hurt the situation is over reacting at the time it happened. This may have given him a reason to act on it. Because he got a BIG reaction out of you. We simply told our DD that mommy and daddy love each other and sometimes we like to lay down in bed together without our clothes. I am just up front with her and tell her that we don't talk about those sorts of things outside with other people. That its private and we keep it to ourselves. My husband is over seas in the Army National Guard so we obviously don't have to worry about her catching us for awhile....however we will be installing locks for when he returns!
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Old 02-15-2007, 08:25 PM   #6
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Re: My son caught us :-(

Yikes!!!!

At his age.....he is probably going to forget about it.

But, if he didn't............One day, he'll take it as if...this is just what 2 adults do.(when he get older)

 
Old 04-08-2007, 10:32 PM   #7
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Re: My son caught us :-(

"Also, I highly recommend you get a lock for your door"


and use it!!

 
Old 04-09-2007, 09:41 AM   #8
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Re: My son caught us :-(

We lock our doors and have trained our son to knock. Our son is 4 yrs old.

A friend of ours 5 yr old daughter, caught them in the preverbial act.. luckily they heard her and were able to stop and play it off as mommy needed a special hug from daddy. They said there is nothing like your child jumping on top of you and saying,"I will give you both a special hug too!" to kill the mood.

At three it can and most likely will be forgotten. Just play it cool and do not reinforce bad behavior with attention, divert him and move on.

My son (4yr old now) never did the humping thing, but went through a boob grabbing (I am thinking because he sees his father grab me when he gets a chance.. trying to teach them both to quit) and squeezing phase. Being grabbed and exposed in Wal-Mart was definitely one of my more embarassing moments.

I finally had to resort to popping his hand hard to make him stop, (my son that is.. tempted to try the tactic on my husband as well) it worked well with my son along with the explaination that you do not touch others that way with out permission... and a grueling question and answer session with him.

He also like to play with himself in the bathroom.. yanking and pulling on occasion. It looks to me that it should hurt, but he still does it on occasion. I know this is natural but making him stop that habit is a definite chore.

Sincerely,
MG
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Old 04-28-2007, 12:28 AM   #9
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Re: My son caught us :-(

Lol..I vote for the lock too. Just wait though until their older, it get's really interesting. My early teen daughter asked her mom a question, and her mom being a chicken told her to go ask your dad! So, long story short, here she comes with her question for me. "Daddy, does it feal good when people or having sex?" Needless to say, I could here her mom laughing from the other room. It took me a moment to pray for wisdom, but I managed to answer her question. As for getting caught having sex, we've managed to escape that embarrisement! I've been married for 22 yrs. with out a walk in, and that's most likey because we lock our door once we decide to do other things than sleep. So, my vote is a trusty door knob that locks.

 
Old 05-10-2007, 07:32 PM   #10
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Re: My son caught us :-(

Mkgbrook, if you know it's natural and you say it's something he does in the bathroom, why do you try to stop him? I'm sure you make him understand not to play with himself in public....

Also, it's probably rude to mention this, but I'm really shocked at the incredibly bad spelling on this thread. It sounds like a bunch of middle-schoolers. How can we teach our kids if we are just as ignorant???

Last edited by blue_spiral; 05-10-2007 at 07:47 PM.

 
Old 05-11-2007, 08:42 AM   #11
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Re: My son caught us :-(

In only stop my son when he yanks on himself.. hard. I try to distract him by letting him clean himself down there.. and explore in a less painful manner. He would yank and stretch himself out to such a degree I was concerned he was going to cause some damage.

I have noticed the spelling issues myself. I have gotten spoiled by spell checkers, but try to minimize errors and am not offened when they are pointed out. Some posts are extreme in the spelling and grammer errors. I will be the first to admit I am a run on queen.

Sincerely,
MG
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Old 05-20-2007, 02:32 PM   #12
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Re: My son caught us :-(

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jewdee5 View Post
Ok....Dr. Ruth has arrived.


You don't need to have sex infront of your toddler, however you don't need to shame it either when he walks in the room and catches you. Our children slept in our room until 4 years old, and our son woke up and caught us not once but twice. The first time, we did not make a big deal out of it and told him that Daddy was loving on mama. The second time, he just saw daddy loving on momma and went back to sleep.

.

I would be completely uncomfortable to have sex with my four year old in the room with us. We've done the "put the kids at a movie and go lock our door to steal a few moments" in the middle of the day. Of course we had sex with them in our room when they were infants, but why at four years old would you do that in their presence and know that there is a chance of them waking and catching you? I don't know....I guess I'm just different. My kids never slept in our room after 3 months and till this day, if they wake, I walk them back to their beds and take care of them in their own rooms. I just believe the parents' bed if for the parents and the activities that go on there.

 
Old 05-21-2007, 09:16 AM   #13
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Re: My son caught us :-(

Still a big advocate of keeping them in their rooms and locking the door to yours while you are doing any sort of grown up activities that can horrify young minds. I remember catching my parents when I was in ninth grade.. I wish I had never seen that, but I can not rid myself of that image.. Ugh.

Sincerely,
MG
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