Does it worth seeing psychologist - Parenting Issues Message Board

galinaqt · 02-16-2007, 11:43 AM

We are still struggling with potty training with my 4 year old. She does pi in the toilet with special sit, sometimes she has accidents. She just take it out and changes herself without telling us. Poo she does in her pants or wait until she gets pull-up at night.
My dh thinks, that we should see child psychologist.
Does anybody tried them and what was the result?

beabonnet · 02-17-2007, 08:05 AM

I would see your pediatrician. It could be that she has a small bladder or some other problem that is making it hard for her to not have accidents. When I was 5, I was still having problems and it was because of a small bladder. I would have accidents in school. It was kind of traumatic. My kindergarten teacher was a ***** and she would yell and spank me. I would actually hide it when I had an accident so no one would get mad at me. The one time though that I remember with glee was when she spanked me only to have a wet surprise. Boy was she upset.

It wasn't my fault though and it wasn't a physcological problem. It was medical. I grew out of it. I don't remember having any accidents in first grade.

Granted I didn't have poo problems that I recall. But, I would still check with your child's doctor first.

And, I wouldn't start your child with any kind of mental therapy unless absolutely necessary. I don't mean to kick the field, because they are great at helping people that need it, but there are some out there that can do harm rather than good. But, that's just my two cents.

galinaqt · 02-17-2007, 07:16 PM

We checked her at pediatritian, and doctor thinks she is fine, and that we are having power struggle.
I myself had 2 bad experiences with councelors, I know what you are talking about.
I met councelor at parents encouragement program I am taking, and she seems intelligent, but when I briefly talked to her all I've heard " I don't know".
I wonder if it won't be money waste to go to her. I am still hoping we can handle it on our own.
I am sorry for your experiences. I had hard time for many years back in my ex-country. It is very cruel and unhuman on all levels. I remember, when I was working part time in daycare, teacher was crying in front of kid, that she didn't want him in her group 'cause he is not advance enough and made her life harder, all screwed up priorities.

nikki2006 · 02-18-2007, 10:48 AM

galinaqt.. if YOU think its a powerstruggle and are sure its not medical then a psycogogist isnt going to help your daughter.. if its a powerstruggle with you then you need to change what you are doing for her to change what she is doing. you have to stand up and be the parent and show her that you mean what you say, not just in this area but all areas. she needs to knwo that you are the adult and she is the child and that basically what you say goes.. it sounds like she walks all over you and until you do something to fix that, dont expect to get the results you are wanting. in my opinion sending her to a psychologist is you telling her that there is something rong with her when in fact, if its a power struggle, then its not her problem its yours. Everyone likes to be in control, kids are no exception but as adults its our job to clarify the boundrys, you cant always have them do what they want or they will think they own you! im not saying never let her get her own way, kids need a bit of that too but she has to respect what you say. you have to win some of the battles, you win the big stuff and you give her the not so important ones.. it sounds like (from all ur posts) that your little girl runs your household instead of you and your husband. if you let that continue then you are going to have more problems than just this!

I sincerly hope i havent offended you here but i dont think its your daughters fault who does not need a psychologist but instead needs some clear boundrys set by you in other areas and then the toilet training will fall into place...