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Old 02-28-2007, 11:02 AM   #1
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freaked out

my dad died 4 years ago...when i was 18

to me he was the best dad in the world, we laughed all the time, had a great relationship and were very alike

we are/were not a kissy kissy kind of family, nor do/did we hug a lot, we just got on....

anyway, i dont know how me and my mum got onto the subject but she said that when i was little, and he picked me up (to carry me to the table/put me in the car/cuddle me when i cried), he'd get an erection

i know i was never abused mentally, physically or sexually by my dad, as i said, we had a good (if not great!) father daughter relationship

but this revelation has TOTALLY freaked me out, i mean is it normal? i dont wanna think of my dad as a perv, but ***?

i cant believe she told me

can anyone help?

 
Old 02-28-2007, 11:43 AM   #2
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Re: freaked out

Sweetie, I am so sorry that your mom would tell you something like that. I can't imagine a circumstance where it would be normal for a father to get an erection while holding one of his children. I just can't believe your mom would think that telling you something like that would be okay. Is it possible you misunderstood her?

 
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Old 02-28-2007, 11:46 AM   #3
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Re: freaked out

nope, i understood her correctly


 
Old 02-28-2007, 12:10 PM   #4
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Re: freaked out

Would your mother by any chance be mentally ill? I'm serious here, not making fun. Could there be a problem?

I would try to completely forget what she said and remember your dad the way he was. As you said, there was no abuse. Don't let something she said ruin what you know.
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Old 02-28-2007, 06:18 PM   #5
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Re: freaked out

I'm so sorry that happened to you. what an awful thing to hear. But, I agree with Pink. You could agonize over this and let it fester or you can disregard it and continue to remember your dad like you do already. If its really bothersome, maybe a counselor could point you in the right direction. I can say that it would really bother me and I might want a professionals opinion on it. Good luck.

 
Old 03-01-2007, 04:22 AM   #6
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Re: freaked out

Does your mom have some sort of grudge against your dad? I mean, were there any problems in the marriage? That is really the only reason I can come up with as to why your mom would tell you something so horrible about your dad. To me it seems like she wants to poison your happy memories of him. Maybe your mom was jealous of your happy relationship with your dad.

I agree with the other posters. Please just ignore what your mom said. She sounds a bit disturbed (depressed maybe?) and maybe just said that without thinking of the reprecussions. YOU know that you had a fantastic, happy and healthy relationship with your dad and that's ALL that matters. Treasure your memories of him and try not to worry about what your mom has said.

 
Old 03-02-2007, 04:55 PM   #7
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Re: freaked out

The male (I'm one so I know this painfully well) reproducing organ is something we lack control over most of the time. Why he got an erection when he carried you beats me but I can tell you that touching might trigger it. It doesn't have to be sexual at all, so I suggest you don't consider your dad perverted at all, as you said yourself. You've never been treated badly so there's no reason. As for your mothers statement I don't really know what to say. I don't really think she's a vicious person trying to ruin your happy memories and bringing personal experience into mind I can only say that my mom told me some weird stuff too.

To conclude, don't let it bother you. Your dad should be remembered as he was, and your mom probably didn't intend to hurt you in any way at all.

 
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