I believe that no matter what we tell our kids to do or not do they follow our lead. I don't know how many times my S.I.L. has told her kids "Don't do this or that" and they say "Why not you did it"! My M.I.L. made me mad this weekend and I wasn't the only one. She had the nerve to lecture everyone in the room about yelling at my S.I.L.'s youngest child and than turned around and yelled at the kid herself and even pushed him out of her way at one time. I thought, she's got the nerve acting like she's innocent of all crimes. She underminds her daughter's parenting by overriding her word when my S.I.L. tells her son No. I have a big problem with that and I know she will probably do that to me with my son. I know Grandmother's get to spoil their kids and be the fun ones and sneak them candy and such, but she does it just to keep control of things. As she pointed her guilty finger around the room at us I wanted so much to say something, as did everyone else but no one dared. Did we have the right too? Also does anyone have any ideas about how to handle my S.I.L.'s youngest child so my M.I.L can't say we are yelling? My S.I.L is a loud person normally and he doesn't seem to responded to anything other than yelling. We tried to sit him down and talk normally and he practically laughs in your face!
My niece is very loud. She has a hard time remembering to use her 'inside voice'. What worked for her was whispering or talking really quiet. Then they have no choice but to be quiet in order to hear what you are saying. This works for when a child is out of control, yelling, crying, etc. From what you said, I don't know if this would work with your nephew and his situation though. Just carry through with what you say you will do. If you tell him he has to sit in time out if he throws the toy once more, make him sit in time out. Ignore him if he laughs and if he gets up, put him back in time out. Do this repeatedly until he'll stay there on his own. How old is he? How old are his siblings?
Alleycat, you are SO right! The best one I saw was a mother smacking her child on the hand and saying "you must not hit your sister" Not really funny, but LOL...And mothers who insist on good manners, etc then ignore their child trying to say something until it gets frantic then punishing them for "interrupting", why not excuse yourself, deal with it, or if the child is old enough, at least acknowledging and saying , "just wait a minute and I will listen to you" People want polite kids and then they don't treat them with politeness. The last poster was a good idea for loud kids. I hate that over riding thing too. Luckily my MIL never did it (at least not in front of me ).